walking the fine line between male and female

[ann45]

I was putting together an outfit to go uptown and it felt more feminine than I was comfortable with so I added a Tommy Bahamma shirt and unbuttoned the outfit read very female, buttoned male. It is amazing how fine tuned we become in how we present. I am also angry at myself because I am still letting my own guilt and shame block me. I am about to start low dosage estrogen and I can't even go out in public presenting as female. The really sad thing is that my therapist tells me that I pass very well for a woman 68 so why do I freak out about this. I would be interested in how others have delt with these feelings. jShould I just woman up and charge ahead. Like most things I have found, my fears are probable out of perportion to reality. 

[JLT1]

I have a friend who went full time the day she started HRT.  She is fearless and wonderful.  And getting prettier by the day.

Me?  Totally terrified.  I was six months into HRT before I even tried makeup.  (My picture).  Then, it was eight months HRT before I went out in public.  Now, at nine months, no problem going out in public.  However, it will be 14 months into HRT at the earliest before I transition at work.

I have heard of others who started by going more adrogenous then adding in woman things.

Everyone is different.  It depends on you, how you feel, how you want to approach it and how bad your dysphoria is compared to how good is your control.  The only right way is the one that works for you.

Welcome to Susan's!!!!!

[Rachel]

Welcome to Susan's, Hugs.

My home work is to buy something. I failed today.

[Jess42]

If you go out full on femme, the first time is a killer. Do little things and keep doing them. Allow yourself to become acclimated and grow comfortable and then do something else to push it a little further and then become comfortable with that. There will always be people that will critisize your appearance, male or female, cis or trans. Don't worry about them unless they have pitchforks and torches.

[MaryXYX]

The first time I went to a gathering in a dress I was scared stiff.  It got much worse when a colleague walked in and recognised me!  After that I think I can say it's all been getting better.

For me it was such a relief to stop pretending that the problems didn't really matter.

[JoanneB]

Shame and Guilt used to rule the roost in my world.