Doubting myself a little/How did you know?

[franie]

CM, I hope that we have been able to give you some  clarity about making the transition, you are right in asking and making sure this is really want you want  It will life changing. Remember you and only you can make that decision. 

[DrBobbi]

Here's an interview I did just after starting HRT and being outed by the media. The public radio reporter asked all the questions raised here, and for once in my unnatural life, I was completely honest with my answers:

http://www.scpr.org/programs/offramp/2013/06/13/32242/bob-tur-legendary-chopper-pilot-has-gender-identit/

Hope this helps. In the end, if you're transgender you know it...you've always known it.

[A]

That was interesting. Though there are two things I'd like to point out:

- You might be generalizing a little too much. I may have misunderstood, but there are many aspects of your experience (such as having always known it) that you seem to apply to everyone, but I think things are much more varied than that.

- You talked about a scientist who discovered the genetic links behind transsexualism and homosexuality. Just recently I've heard about a new research that came out saying that much more of those things might be environmentally influenced than we think, so I assume the debate is far from closed, but I'm interested. Do you have a link? If possible something vulgarized. As a non-native speaker who never learned the slightest notion of science in English (and doesn't have a scientific background to begin with), I am unable to understand the formal papers at all. Ya know, those things that start with an "abstract".

Though the most shocking thing is how very open about all sorts of things you are. Even things he didn't ask. I could never go nearly that far or be so assertive. I felt a big mix of stupefaction and impressed-ness (seriously, my mind doesn't seem to be able to dig that word up tonight) all along. So uhm, congrats. I thought coming out to my classmates was a big deal, and yet.

PS: Wow, US indeed. You two talked about guns on a public radio. Just like that. It was the first time I actually had an example of it. You Americans probably don't understand how special/shocking that is to an outsider, haha.

[DrBobbi]

As I spend more time on HRT I realize how little I knew when I did that interview. The public radio reporter asked me for an update on my progress and I'm going to be a bit more careful about the generalities. Hormones change so much, even sexual attraction, which scientific abstracts say isn't the case. So much for scientific papers.

About being open and out. Once news broke I decided I had enough living a lie. I decided to be as honest as humanly possible to help others like me and you. Given the level of media attention I think it went a long way to informing the public that this is either a genetic condition, or influenced in utero through hormones, like cortosol...To think otherwise is to give the pray away gay movement that more and more states are banning a whole new group to pray upon. Gene Dysphoria is NOT caused by weak fathers, aggressive mothers, gays, priests, nuns, or by the latest Nina Richi dress collection.

Try this link. It's technical, but a great place to start: http://aebrain.blogspot.com.au/p/transsexual-and-intersex-gender-identity.html

As for guns. In my lines of work I've seen over a thousand victims of gun violence and having nothing against the private ownership of firearms.

[A]

Thanks. That was interesting.

[Magnolia88]

I made a post about this but the basis of it was it was just something I've always felt and every time I would push it away it kept coming back. I was never comfortable with the idea of being a man. I thought I was gay but I could never relate to any of the gay guys I knew other than fact we both liked penis. Every person or character I ever related to and wished I could be like has always been female. After years of being in denial, I put it all together and that's how I knew.

[DrBobbi]

I thought I was gay but I could never relate to any of the gay guys I knew other than fact we both liked penis. Every person or character I ever related to and wished I could be like has always been female. After years of being in denial, I put it all together and that's how I knew.

Spot on Magnolia. I, like you, thought I was gay, but didn't fit in. JUst ask any of your cisgender female friends if they'd date a gay man? They'll say no. Just isn't the same.

The road to self realization is a long one, and don't be surprised by the sudden turns! I think of being transgender as a gift. How many humans have the blessing of transitioning genders, and living two lives. Like the line from the Virginia Woolf book Orlando: Same person. No difference at all... just a different sex. Perfect!

[E-Brennan]

When I really knew was when I asked myself "Could I be a cis-male who wanted hrt?", and my answer was a resounding "no". 995 of cis-males do not want to look female and start taking hormones to change their bodies.

Skye-Blue, that was the single most insightful piece of advice I've read on this board ever. If I was comfortable as a male, happy with who I was, would I want to take hormones to look more female?

Not a chance.

Ergo, probably some issues to talk to a therapist about at the very least.

Looking at these problems from the other perspective really helps, er, put things into perspective.