Hmm.

[Liminal Stranger]

I...don't look like a girl. I get that. In fact, many people just know me in school as "one of those boys who happens to be a late bloomer". But then there's teachers who "know better" and refer to me as a girl. One teacher out of many knows, and is extremely accepting despite what I had feared. School starts not too long from now, and I don't know how I can go through another year of being referred to by my female name as a female. I don't know my schedule yet, so there's no chance of dropping an e-mail. I can tell them in person...but then what of parents? What if I pass out in class like I so often do from my blood sugar and blood pressure and what have you and my mom gets extremely pissed off at some person saying her son Max fainted in their class and they're concerned? What if my mom goes up to school to bring me something and they get confused because the teacher doesn't have a girl with that name in their class? I'm so worried about all of this, and of all the old teachers. No one's going to see me as a girl, and I don't need the hassle of people going, "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?!!111" this year. Not with having to fill out college applications as "female". Eww.

[Jamie D]

You have a basic human right to identify the way you feel most comfortable.

Before school starts again, take to the Principal or administrators, and indicate your preference.

I suggest you do it in writing as well.  From my own experience, administrators get a little more serious when there is a paper trail.

[Tessa James]

Hi Max,

I agree with Jamie's succinct advice and as a College Trustee recognize our responsibility to provide for your rights & safety.  Depending on your state or local school board there may already be protections or a process in place.  Are there any local Gay Straight Alliance clubs or diversity groups that you might get info from?
BTW, I called myself an alien for many years and I truly felt alienated from the culture of the time.  I would try to talk with people about the way I felt and repeatedly found no one saw the world or felt like I did.  I often came home from school crying and lonely.  Today I recognize that alienation was emotionally unhealthy and am fortunate to live out and proud with a wealth of friends and a community I am deeply involved in.  I don't really know you but with that many posts I would guess you have plenty of friends here.

Good luck and hugs to boot

[Brandon]

What I did was tell all my friends that I pefer to be called Brandon, Even teachers their completely fine with it, My mom has my dad do everything know so she wouldnt find out

[Liminal Stranger]

Most of the kids I interact with know, either I'm out or stealth to them and the ones I'm out to see no reason to treat me as anything but cis. I'm lucky like that. However, I have zero support from either of my parents, and even mention of it makes my mother start screaming her head off for no reason. My dad finds the whole thing very funny still, but has sort of stopped making fun of me. He doesn't live with me, however, and my mother is my sole primary guardian. Any surviving family would likely also be unaccepting or live far away, and negotiation is off the table- every time an evaluation by a person finds me being trans to hold true, she wildly searches for anything to counter their credentials and deems them incompetent. She says she's going to search until she finds one who will "fix" me (i.e. make me be a girl). I don't think so.

I remember back when we had a GSA club in my school. They all happened to have lunch the same period as me, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. There was even a transkid or two if I'm remembering right. Unfortunately, they all graduated back before I came out to anyone, even myself. What I would love to do is set up a meeting with the principal and bring my mother along to have both moral support and an adult that she could trust, because she will be starting her first year at our school and I haven't had the chance to know what she's like. However, the lack of any acceptance whatsoever results in me not having this option. I would love to have my preferred name in the student yearbook, and receive my non-diploma at graduation by walking across the stage when that name is called.

Maybe it's unhealthy, but I'd like my parents to be proud of me and be there every step of the way.

[Brandon]

Most of the kids I interact with know, either I'm out or stealth to them and the ones I'm out to see no reason to treat me as anything but cis. I'm lucky like that. However, I have zero support from either of my parents, and even mention of it makes my mother start screaming her head off for no reason. My dad finds the whole thing very funny still, but has sort of stopped making fun of me. He doesn't live with me, however, and my mother is my sole primary guardian. Any surviving family would likely also be unaccepting or live far away, and negotiation is off the table- every time an evaluation by a person finds me being trans to hold true, she wildly searches for anything to counter their credentials and deems them incompetent. She says she's going to search until she finds one who will "fix" me (i.e. make me be a girl). I don't think so.

I remember back when we had a GSA club in my school. They all happened to have lunch the same period as me, and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. There was even a transkid or two if I'm remembering right. Unfortunately, they all graduated back before I came out to anyone, even myself. What I would love to do is set up a meeting with the principal and bring my mother along to have both moral support and an adult that she could trust, because she will be starting her first year at our school and I haven't had the chance to know what she's like. However, the lack of any acceptance whatsoever results in me not having this option. I would love to have my preferred name in the student yearbook, and receive my non-diploma at graduation by walking across the stage when that name is called.

Maybe it's unhealthy, but I'd like my parents to be proud of me and be there every step of the way.

I know that feeling I have know support from mom or dad either

[Liminal Stranger]

I don't really think of myself as needing emotional support. I'd love to be allowed to rant to a parent about my issues every time I have to see a doctor but then again, if I had that support then I'd probably be at least on my way to never being treated as a girl again instead of being at a standstill here. It's annoying to watch my classmates go from adolescents to grown young adults while I look like I belong in elementary school, because I want to walk around shirtless and like what I see and have real facial hair, as well as a deep voice rather than the one I have that squeaks and cracks like a 12 year old's. But none of those things can happen without parental consent, and I don't really know how long it'll be before I can truly break off contact. I'm still going to be using my father's insurance up until my mid-20's unless I can somehow get the financial means to support myself and my many conditions.

Being called a girl makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don't hate girls, but it gives me a very physical reaction when someone refers to me as one because it's a soft spot. Luckily I pass pretty much everywhere, but I'm still on record as female in doctor's offices and at school and it kills me. I'm not Asian, but my whole life I've wanted my parents to be happy with who I am and what I will be. Much of that has been taken away through a combination of some mild cerebral palsy and some not so mild EDS, and the diagnoses keep piling up. Now I've failed at being what my mother thinks she gave birth to, according to her logic. As untrue as I know it is, it still stings.

Hate to sound selfish, but even as I'm really happy for other guys who get T and top surgery at 16 or 17 (or even earlier), I can't help but feel sad that I'm still trapped in a body that doesn't fit quite right. I mean, some people have parents who go right off to get a proper gender therapist and all that stuff, and then I'm sitting over here with the lady who screams at me for having socks in my underwear, wanting boxer briefs, doing whatever I can to make sure my chest is completely concealed (still can't have a real binder, but I managed to have a growth spurt and lost a little weight so they aren't very noticeable, especially once I layer all my cheap dollar store compression gear and what have you), and especially for referring to myself in any way, shape, or form as a guy. Even jokingly referring to myself as a male TV character or something can get me in trouble sometimes. She sees it as her saving me from myself and fighting to keep her child, and not letting me become a freak. i am not a freak.

She's impossible to educate, and completely not mature enough to handle me, yet she has control over my life. It's ridiculous. I shouldn't be replying to this thread, shouldn't have made it in the first place, because this shouldn't be a problem.

[Liminal Stranger]

Thanks. I hope so too, I have enough on my plate without her actively fighting my transition instead of being supportive of me no matter what.

[Corwynn Jade]

If you are 18 by your graduation date, you can request that your name at graduation be "max so-and-so" After you turn 18 you are no longer under parental responsibility for your school records and such.

I had my prefered name on record with the school, and at graduation that was what was called.

Don't know whether i said what i meant, but i hope you get the jist.

[Liminal Stranger]

My dad doesn't accept me either, and isn't the best person for me to live with. That magic number won't hit until sometime when I'm already in college, so that's off the table as well. She wouldn't be too shocked, since the element of a divorce doesn't exist there (long story short, nothing to legally separate) and she thinks I'm just a lot of trouble between this and my medical problems. I don't have any allies in my family, only friends who support my identity and people who I'm stealth to. I'd crash at a friends' house, but knowing my mother, she'd go ahead and report me to the police as a runaway just to spite me.