Hi. My name is Nic. I'm kind of shy so I'm going to try (and succeed!) to not talk in short sentances. Here goes:
I'm a genderfluid transboy. Born female. When I was a kid, I was 100% genderblind to the point where I was in a boy's changing room at a very small age and burst out crying because I couldn't concieve of how a person could possibly have something hanging between their legs, I thought all people were the same sex, same gender. It wasn't until 5th grade when the "girls" were given "the talk" that I realized that there were Two Genders. I say that capitalized because that's always been a huge thing in my head. It was really hard for me to figure out that there were more than the binary genders, and more than the binary sexes too. But I was in 5th grade and suddenly I became a girl. I stopped wearing pink (etc) because I thought that would make me stop being a girl. It didn't of course. Middle school was hell, naturally (well, because it was middle school, but the dysphoria started too). In 9th grade, I had a psychotic breakdown which included the delusion that I was a boy. At least, that's what they told my parents when I was in the hospital. It was in a therapy group in the hospital that I came out as something other than a girl. I told them I had no gender. I told them I wasn't agender. I was just nothing. From there, I went through anti-gender, agender, pangender, and genderfluid, which landed me here, still utterly dysphoric but something else entirely.
New chapter: I'm a boy. I wear skirts on occasion, makeup on occasion, bind 100% of the time, go by gender neutral pronouns (they, them, their) at school, but I'm a boy. I plan on having chest surgery as soon as I can and want to see a speech pathologist to see if I can change my speech patterns (etc) a little. I don't want testosterone, don't want bottom surgery.
Okay, that's my story (see, aren't you proud? I used longer sentences!). Now some questions:
I want to have a picture (avatar?) but the only thing I see on my "forum profile" editing thing is a single option that says "no avatar" and there's no way to unclick that. Any help?
Also, I see people have these little bits of words under their user names such as "FTM transsexual" How do I get one of those?
Thanks guys. I hope I can be accepted into the community.
