I totally recognise what you say about "lesbian not being the right label". I hardly ever had/have sexual dreams, and only rarely it included girls (often when it did, I was the guy. But mostly when I dreamt that the dream stopped somewhere in the middle when my brain realized it was "wrong" to envision myself as a guy), and I always kept my sexuality sort of 'open', cause I simply didn't know! (I am stuck at bi right now, but that might change once on T?)
Always there was this "Maybe I'm lesbian" question in the back of my mind, but that didn't feel as 'me'. I thought I was afraid to accept myself as gay or something, but now I've accepted myself as a guy I see that wasn't the case. (I'm perfectly okay with getting into a gay relationship with a guy, even though gay guys suffer from discrimination more than lesbians. For the simple reason that I cannot be in a "gay" relationship with a woman, 'cause I'm no woman. LOL!)