A small rant about PMS

[randomroads]

I'm on t cream because injections weren't emotionally possible for me. I love this alternative, and I accept the fact that it may slow down my physical transition. However, PMS abounds right on time

A few days ago I noticed that I was really cranky for no reason, really sensitive toward comments that otherwise wouldn't bother me, and I surprised myself by shedding a few tears last night over something that normally doesn't make me tear up even before T. All signs point to PMS and it's right on time since I typically start around the first of the month.

Today I'm miserable because I'm fearing wearing the girl underwear and the diaper-like pads. I'm fearing leaking and embarrassment. I'm fearing ruining another pair of sheets, pj pants, leaving stains on the couch or having to sit/sleep on a towel. Leaks always happen and they never make sense. The only time they haven't happened was when I got so angry at a heavy flow that I bought Depends adult diapers and wore them.

Today I hate my body and wish I could safely use a kitchen knife and cut out the organs that make my life miserable. I'm also pretty angry that I am forced to live like this. I almost wish I had cancer or something so that insurance would pay for the hysto.

[JaredLeBlanc]

I HATE my periods with a passion. It's so disgusting, it's so unfair and it's a lot of pain and inconvenience! Yesterday, i was hysterical about it. I started screaming and kicking my blanket while lying in bed at night. I feel SOOOOO awful, omg! And the pain isn't even strong at all, it's just a little pain but it's there all the time. Of course i can take painkillers if i want but i just don't wanna do this. I hate taking medication for something like this. I hate this disgusting part of my body and i just truly can't understand how someone could want to be a female! Sorry MTF girls...

[ZombieDog]

I completely understand how you feel.  I also struggled with my period and always felt awkward and disgusting about it.  The leaking and staining was the worst, I felt ashamed to the point of mortification, even if no one else knew about it.

The good news is that the odds are good that it will stop soon.  Even if the cream makes the changes happen slower, that's one of the first things that will happen.  I haven't used birth control in awhile, but is there any kind you could take that would stop periods without messing up your T or changes?  Maybe your doctor could suggest something.  Also, perhaps it's a bit unethical but my therapist said that some transguys' doctors will make up medical diagnosis that are technically true but not as urgent as they sound in order for insurance to pay for hystos.  Just a thought.

[Sybil]

I HATE my periods with a passion. It's so disgusting, it's so unfair and it's a lot of pain and inconvenience! Yesterday, i was hysterical about it. I started screaming and kicking my blanket while lying in bed at night. I feel SOOOOO awful, omg! And the pain isn't even strong at all, it's just a little pain but it's there all the time. Of course i can take painkillers if i want but i just don't wanna do this. I hate taking medication for something like this. I hate this disgusting part of my body and i just truly can't understand how someone could want to be a female! Sorry MTF girls...

It's okay. The desire to be a male absolutely perplexes me, too. Body swapping can't be invented soon enough!

[Brandon]

They bother everyone transguy, But you really need to be grateful that your even got some type of T, I'd kill o be on T right know, And I gotta deal with it for 2 more years be thankful

[Simon]

I almost wish I had cancer or something so that insurance would pay for the hysto.

No you don't. Even with tumors they took their sweet time...oh over 5 years to grant me my hysto. The best part was lying nude on a table for hours while they stuck a camera up my groin and down my neck to view the tumors.

Why not use tampons? They're tiny and a lot cleaner. I know, penetration, right? I'd still think that would be preferable to dealing with that horrible smell and mess of using pads.

[Jack_M]

Tighty whities! Try using them rather than girl underwear.

And no, you don't want cancer. I've seen too many people die from cancer and the ones that do survive live in fear of it coming back because once you've had cancer, that's not the end of it, you have a high probability of it returning. Periods will go eventually, but never wish cancer on yourself or even your worst enemy!

[CursedFireDean]

Why not use tampons? They're tiny and a lot cleaner. I know, penetration, right? I'd still think that would be preferable to dealing with that horrible smell and mess of using pads.

IMO it's more dysphoric for me to cram something up there (partly because I'm small down there), so I would second the briefs with pads option.

[mm]

When I was about 14 I started using tampons and never went back to pads again.  I don't like dealing with my parts but I have learned to put them in and pull them out.  There is no more seeing and feeling these pads between your legs.  I could never use one of those cup things for sure.  I hope some day to get all those parts removed, then they can never cause me any grief or problems.