How to stop getting dysphoric when people talk about pregnancies or what not

[Brandon]

I agree with everything that has been said here so far. I know highschool is very genderbased, and the boys are very testosterone driven, trying to be top dogs and being very competative. It's very black and white. You're not a man if you don't have a schlong, end of story. But this will change as you get older. People will develop and get more open minded, and learn that the world is not black and white. There's a lot of gray areas, and many will learn that being a man is much more than having the equipment. Keep that in mind when you feel blue at school again. It won't stay that way.

That being said, you want the impossible. Basically, you want to have been born a man and produce sperm. We all want that, clearly. But that didnt happen, and nothing we can do can change that sad fact. But there are a lot of things that we can change. Focus on that. And no, it won't happen now, or within a few weeks or moths, maybe even years. But it will happen. As for getting biological kids via your own sperm. Forget it. That's the hard truth. Instead of continuing with wanting that, you better start accepting that it won't happen. It will open your mind to alternatives.

If something you want is unatainable, such as being born a man, you need coping techniques to deal with this. A therapist will help. Is it possible that you can convince your mom you want to see one because you feel very unhappy and depressed? Don't even mention the gender issues you have, and she may allow it. Once at the therapist, you can discuss with him whatever you want.

Well without support I have none End of story

[Brandon]

Well without support I have none End of story

And no you don't know what type of background I come from, A very religious one, And I already told her about the gender issues but thanks, It won't work

[Brandon]

I agree. If you set yourself up that this is the way it absolutely has to be, and it can't be that way, you are setting yourself up to be unhappy your whole life. I agree with seeing a therapist about this as there is no way to change but on the inside.

HS is a very hard time of life at best, and it isn't the best. I think opening your mind to possibilities, perhaps possibilities you aren't entirely comfortable with yet will help you a lot.

Mr. X has excellent advise.

--Jay

I can't see a therapist Ive said that already

[randomroads]

I've held my tongue because I'm not entirely sure how to say it without being offensive, but I'll give it a shot.

You're young, you're still in school, and you still live at home. Your writing skills are severely lacking in the grammar and punctuation department. That might be out of your control, I don't know. BUT with the way you present yourself here it's unlikely that at this point in your life, if you were of age to be on your own and trying to hold down a job that you'd be able to find anything that pays well enough to support a family. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Get a good education. Overcome any learning disabilities as best as possible IF you have them. Raising children is extremely expensive. Setting yourself up for success will go a long way when it's time for you to settle down and have a family. Women want a man who can hold his own and provide for her even if she's self-supportive.

If your mother refuses to allow you access to mental health care, talk to one of your clergy at church. Many pastors/priests have professional training in how to counsel their church. You don't even have to mention that you're trans, but you can let someone know that your life right now is difficult for you. It sounds like you could really enjoy the enrichment of having someone to talk to, so reach out to the people who are there for that specific reason.

How do you get over the dysphoria of listening to women talk about their female parts? You just have to work at it. It's a never ending process to grow and mature past what we were yesterday and the day before. It can be really difficult, but with practice it can get better.
You want biological children - so many people out there want to breed and reproduce and so many of them can't. Life sucks. We have to play the cards we were dealt and sometimes we have to compromise on our desires in order to live in reality.

[Jamie D]

This topic has turned into a fight, with people talking past one another.

The best thing to do, Brandon, is to consider the advice given, in good faith, and stop wallowing in self-pity.  Nothing is going to change, unless you make it change.

Locked