A, I think you are right there - it is not something that is done easily by everyone. Nowadays, I think I would have less of a hard time to do this and just say forget the past, think about now. Back then with all the insecurity and stunted personality I would not have been able to do so. Transitioning helped me to grow in that sense. Its like a tree that wants to grow but at a young age always the new branches are cut and only the ones the gardener wants are left standing - not because it is good for the tree but because the tree then gives more fruit or fits better in the arrangement of the garden. When the gardener goes away the tree can finally grow and become a full healthy tree. Some of the old branches are kept, most die off as they are overshadowed by the new growth on top. Some of the old cuts will remain as scars, still noticeable but fading and maybe new branches replace the ones that were cut. Of course that tree then also disturbs the arrangement of the garden to the dismay of those who want it arranged orderly but a wild garden can be much more beautiful than one that is carefully arranged. So a personality who is like that tree will at first maybe not have the ability to think that way, to just look at the present, as there is too much uncertainty and fear of being hurt again. Looking at what has happened, at where those branches were cut and to realize that they have been cut is painful but it allows to grow back these branches and because we are not trees we can actually drive back that gardener once we have found out that we ourselves are also the gardener, carrying out orders from the masters - the society around us.
Erm - maybe that was a bit too metaphoric. In short: Yes it is a personality issue, not one that cannot be changed and certainly different people can have differet ways to get there and look at the present more than the past. To be blind against the past is also not good and that is what mayn transpeople do pre-transition. Not look at the past as it is just full of shi...
