Anybody ever get a day where they think they don't want to transition anymore?

[Dreams2014]

Well, the HRT is going to take care of Your "horny" side Be strong!

This is what always scares me most about HRT. Because beforehand, the idea of losing them is scary!

[Carlita]

I've never had a thought like that, not in the ever so slightest EVER o.o

I've TRIED to think like that - hoping that I could pretend to act like a 'real' man .. but it never, ever works. I'm definitely in the group that has never had a normal male sex drive. So that's the very last thing I worry about when contemplating transition.

There are, though, a ton of things I'm ->-bleeped-<--scared about, including

Losing my kids
Shaming them, and my wife, or causing them to suffer on my account
Losing my ability to earn a living (I know I could still do what I do just as well, the question is: would anyone still want to pay me?)
Failing to pass - the usual, too tall, big feet, big head, broad shoulders stuff
Loneliness - who will want me afterwards?

But then I fear NOT doing it too ...

TOO MUCH FEAR IN MY LIFE ...

[Jamie D]

Carlita, I know exactly how you feel.  I am in a similar situation, but complicated in my case by additional health concerns.  So I am not allowed HRT 

But, I can do my best and utilize coping mechanisms to the greatest extent possible.

[Dreams2014]

hearing all your stories makes me sad and also feel I am quite fortunate not to have the concerns of having to tell friends, work colleague's etc.

I'm still confident I'm going to transition, and once I've started I don't think I'll reverse it. So I guess it was just one of those odd days lol

[MaryXYX]

My wife threw me out, my church threw me out.  All of my so called friends were in that church and not one of them has contacted me since.  Almost all of my children won't speak to me and one recently asked me not to send birthday cards to the grand-children.  I don't think that was the reason I lost my job - they did dump 35 people in one go.

Would I go back?  There isn't anywhere to go back to.  I am a woman and there is no way I could resume the pretence of being a man.

[Yuki-jker86]

Well, the HRT is going to take care of Your "horny" side Be strong!

thanks
I don't think it's about staying strong though, I have a very strong will.
I guess I needed to 'know' for sure. I bought an aid today to allow me to go the whole way and I phoned a girl. well I reached the finish line finally. but... it was not enjoyable in any sense.

This is what always scares me most about HRT. Because beforehand, the idea of losing them is scary!

Have you been all the way yet? because if you are anything like me, you think you want to, but when it actually comes to the real life situation, you may feel different? it's taken me til the age of 33 to realise that I don't want what I thought I wanted.

[Dreams2014]

thanks
I don't think it's about staying strong though, I have a very strong will.
I guess I needed to 'know' for sure. I bought an aid today to allow me to go the whole way and I phoned a girl. well I reached the finish line finally. but... it was not enjoyable in any sense.
Have you been all the way yet? because if you are anything like me, you think you want to, but when it actually comes to the real life situation, you may feel different? it's taken me til the age of 33 to realise that I don't want what I thought I wanted.

I live in rural north Wales. So i've not gone to therapy yet. As soon as I am living independently though i'm straight there. I want HRT as soon as possible, even though the prospect scares me, I know it's what I want.

[Yuki-jker86]

I live in rural north Wales. So i've not gone to therapy yet. As soon as I am living independently though i'm straight there. I want HRT as soon as possible, even though the prospect scares me, I know it's what I want.

ah ok... uhm.. well when I said 'all the way' I was talking about sex! 

edit:
oh, didn't realise you're in north wales! if you're ever visiting Wrexham, drop me a line. perhaps we can have a chat and a coffee?

[Dreams2014]

ah ok... uhm.. well when I said 'all the way' I was talking about sex! 

edit:
oh, didn't realise you're in north wales! if you're ever visiting Wrexham, drop me a line. perhaps we can have a chat and a coffee?

Oh, that's what you meant! Yes I've had four female sexual partners. And I still want to transition, so I suppose at least I'm well informed about what I'm leaving behind?

Yes I'm in the land of sheep and mountains, although I have said this to you in another thread before

And yeah that would be very cool!

[Yuki-jker86]

Yes I'm in the land of sheep and mountains, although I have said this to you in another thread before

Good point !!
I think I assumed you were from the south though because there are far more people there.

[Christine Eryn]

Since undergoing electrolysis and HRT in 2007, I've stopped transitioning a few times. Mostly, by stopping HRT. I thought electro wasn't working either. For me, "the real world" was making it tough to transition and I didn't see the changes I wanted when I wanted them.

Now, (off and on) electro is effective and HRT has done more than I had expected, except for not having bigger hips    I have not stopped HRT since I got a new doctor in 2009. Next year is my absolute goal for FFS, along with legal/name changes and stuff.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

[Bardoux]

My wife threw me out, my church threw me out.  All of my so called friends were in that church and not one of them has contacted me since.  Almost all of my children won't speak to me and one recently asked me not to send birthday cards to the grand-children.  I don't think that was the reason I lost my job - they did dump 35 people in one go.

Would I go back?  There isn't anywhere to go back to.  I am a woman and there is no way I could resume the pretence of being a man.

I'm so sorry that you went through all that Mary; I can't believe how cruel people can be.
You're a strong woman and i hope your family and friends come to see that to. x

[MaryXYX]

Thank you Bardoux.  Yes I am a strong woman, and no longer an ineffective man.  One daughter is very supportive.  I spent a week with her in December and she introduced me at toddler groups as "The twins' Nana".  At least one young Mom made the obvious step from "Twins' Nana" to "Jen's Mom" and neither of us said yes or no, we just carried on chatting.

Many of us have lost a lot, but I have found new friends at a new church.  I did it the hard way by joining the church and then transitioning, so everybody knows my history.  About a week after transition one of the other women asked me if I would like to be one of the women who do food for special occasions.  Not a good idea to let me loose in the kitchen, but that's real acceptance.