Re-Transitioning

[retransition]

Kia Ora J,

Thanks for clearing this up for me...

Buddhism and the art of  'non-attachment', whether it be to material things, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, can be a tricky business for some, but not impossible...

Thus I have heard the Buddha did say to end 'Dukkha' (unsatisfactoriness)  one must give up craving ("desire")...But if one finds this too difficult then don't 'desire' to give up 'all' desire, and if one finds this a problem, then don't desire to be successful in giving up all desires ! =The outcome, the "middle way"...

I wish you well...


Happy mindfulness

Metta Zenda

Thanks much (do you like to be called Metta or Kuan?)

That was a perfectly chosen quote and I can see you are very familiar with exactly what I am talking about.  I don't strive to rid myself of ALL attachment.  I am not a practicing Buddhist - I just find a lot of the concepts interesting signposts and "suggestions" that I can choose or choose not to follow.   I think I am kinda all about the "middle way" on many levels.  ;-)

[Anatta]

Thanks much (do you like to be called Metta or Kuan?)

That was a perfectly chosen quote and I can see you are very familiar with exactly what I am talking about.  I don't strive to rid myself of ALL attachment.  I am not a practicing Buddhist - I just find a lot of the concepts interesting signposts and "suggestions" that I can choose or choose not to follow.   I think I am kinda all about the "middle way" on many levels.  ;-)

Kia Ora J,

I started off with "Zenda" as a forum name, then put Kuan yin on my avatar... I end my posts with "Metta Zenda", "Metta" meaning loving kindness...  So whatever you feel comfortable with...

Being 'mindful' just gives one the ability to stop 'habitually' reacting to the data streaming in through the senses...

I'm sure the other 'lurkers' will have some questions for you...

Metta Zenda

[retransition]

Thanks Zenda for the clarification.
Metta J

[retransition]

That's very interesting.  I too have health issues that could bring my HRT to a grinding halt.

FWIW, I saw an endo when I first considered transitioning who was an MTF transgender.  I was quite surprised when she told me she hadn't take Estrogen in many years because it made her "too moody".  Also, she actually seemed negative on her transition experience, as though cautioning her patients (well, me at least) that transitioning isn't always what it seems.  My curious thought is if the two are related, i.e., stopping Estrogen and becoming disenchanted with transitioning.  Hard to say what might come first, or if they are simply part of a bigger question.

Yeah which comes first the chicken or the egg.  It is a good question and it is something I do think about.

In my posts here I have alluded to the fact that my first try taking testosterone didn't go well - the crazy part is that it reactivated my gender dysphoria - and actually led me to start briefly taking estrogen again as well and wanting to resume living in a female role. There was a lot going on and after I came off of it and back to my "baseline" I had a lot to think about.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora,

Some interesting points have arisen...

I've heard how some trans-women become quite anxious just prior to surgery (not necessarily surgery jitters) their concerns are about having to 'stop' hrt for a certain period of time...Some have said it makes them feel weird -not with it so to speak...

So perhaps there is a connection between hrt and some(again not necessarily all) 'so called' trans-women's mental states...

Food for thought....

Metta Zenda  

[retransition]

So perhaps there is a connection between hrt and some(again not necessarily all) 'so called' trans-women's mental states...

Without a doubt.  Hormones really do impact mood.  My hormones are really messed up and I do hope to one day find someone I am confident in who can help me get to a more balanced state.  In recent years I have been diagnosed with a thyroid deficiency.  This impacts my mood, my energy level and my metabolism.  What caused this in me?  Probably a mixture of things - I didn't eat very well and I smoked.  Did my swings in hormone levels and organs that produce hormones impact it?  Maybe yes maybe no.  But I do think that the fact that it is a possibility needs to be examined.  The frustrating thing is that although I can work with doctors who work with me to get my thyroid levels right they are really at a loss when talking about hormones and especially when it relates to transgendered people.  I found someone that I heard might be good but when I called his office he said he could talk to me about my thyroid on my insurance plan but any conversations about hormones would have to be out of pocket because it was a transgender treatment.    I have found endocrinologists who do well at knowing what to prescribe to achieve certain aesthetic results but few who take a holistic view to the whole body.  My worst experience was the doctor who wanted to put me on a testosterone blocker because my lab results showed that I was at a normal level for a male.  I had to argue with him for a good 10 minutes trying to get through to him that this was impossible as a post-op male to female. He finally looked at the results and saw that I was being measured as normal based on a female baseline not male.   I never went back to him again.