I'm really overwhelmed by everything

[Qlinik]

So I posted on here a long time ago then never posted again, I came back because now I'm seriously thinking about my gender dysphoria and even seeing a gender therapist next week. The problem is, I just feel so stressed out because it's all so overwhelming to me!

First there's all the therapy and doctor appointments, then there's the hormones, then there's the hair removal, then there's the buying a new set of clothes, then I need make-up and breast forms and that's not even getting into surgeries. I probably forgot a lot of things too, like getting a name change legally, getting a new job or coming out at work...

How do I handle all of this?

[Renee]

One little step at a time. Try not to look too often at the whole picture, just focus on what needs to come next, then move on to what comes after that. It can help you keep from feeling so overwhelmed, after all its a process that comes about over a good chunk of time and every process usually has multiple steps.

[anjaq]

I second that - dont focus too much on the practical issues that are not of concern at the moment. There is a "roadmap" to this and it starts with some things and the rest comes later. Usually I believe you have at least about 2 years before having to worry about surgeries at all and the timepoint you want to think about clothing and real life experience is all up to you, your therapist probably will handle the timepoint of hormone therapy. But the first step after coming out is to explore oneself and get aware of how real all of this is. It is one step at a time with some milestones in between that mark points of no return in some sense or another and until these are reached, one has the time to evaluate if this is the right path (something which one should definitely do instead of being pipelined through the procedure )

[mrs izzy]

So I posted on here a long time ago then never posted again, I came back because now I'm seriously thinking about my gender dysphoria and even seeing a gender therapist next week. The problem is, I just feel so stressed out because it's all so overwhelming to me!

First there's all the therapy and doctor appointments, then there's the hormones, then there's the hair removal, then there's the buying a new set of clothes, then I need make-up and breast forms and that's not even getting into surgeries. I probably forgot a lot of things too, like getting a name change legally, getting a new job or coming out at work...

How do I handle all of this?

First thing i would do is breathe. then again, again and again.....

Trust me there is not law that says you have to do everthing in a day or so. Everything takes time and i for one think the more time you take to understand who you are inside the better you will be in the end. I see so many pushing for things to be done yesterday they forget about tomorrow.
Calm down, as said in another post and take it one step at a time.
This path you are to walk has been walked by many before you. Its going to be one of the hardest things you will do in your life. Being able to stay out of the darkness is going to be your hardest challenge if you do not learn to take things one step at a time.

Great to walk with you always
Izzy

[anjaq]

On a sidenote, you can also prioritize. What things on that long list is crucial in time and what is a thing for later? This depends on your desires and wishes as well as practicalities. For me in 1998 the most important thing was to get hormone therapy not matter the cost and effort as I felt without this my body was under attack by testosterone every day and loosing. So this was a priority for me back then as I was 23 and feeling that once this is done I had more time dealing with the other issues. then I prioritized in temrs of my wishes - I wanted to have the real life experience part time then full time and only then I started to think about surgeries and laster treatments and all that stuff. But I took it one step at a time, because it can be pretty overwhelming - it always is - But feel safe, let it flush over you, it is a storm but it can be exciting and you can be sure there are people around you that will help you all along the way until the storm calms and the skies are blue (or pink LOL).

[Zoe Louise Taylor]

I agree about taking things one step at a time!

Going to see a therapist is a huge step in the right direction! and they will be able to help with some of the feelings!!

Iv'e felt massively overwhelmed by the whole thought of transitioning, but i think it is important to get as much support as possible, especially from other transexual people, who have been in your position, and are going through the same things as you are! Perhaps finding a support group in your area would help to deal with the steps you will need to take! it is always good to be in touch with people who know what you are going through!

All the best!
Zoe
x

[Jennygirl]

I remember feeling vastly overwhelmed when initially making my transition shortlist. Start with the broader aspects or milestones of what you want, break things out into steps, then whittle it down to the details as you go. It will be easier to see what you will need first and when. Chances are you've already done most of the research you will need to do in order to start?

This time for you is definitely the biggest single hump you will likely encounter when it comes to preparing your mind for what's ahead. When you know what you need to do whether from organizing a big category / small category list or just from forethought alone, you will breathe a huge sigh of RELIEF!

Glad you are seeing a gender therapist! They can really make sense out of a lot of this stuff, but ultimately it is you who will have to truly care enough about it to be able to make it happen.

Best of luck and let us know how the appointment goes

[LizMarie]

Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps! Start by making a plan. Be prepared to rewrite that plan over and over, but start by making a plan. Then start crossing off little things one at a time from that list.

Get your first manicure!
Get your brows done for the first time!
Maybe get your ears pierced!
Make an appointment to see a therapist.
Shop for a wig. (I found that given my very very average head size I can get away with wig shopping online.)
Buy one outfit that you really want, whether it's dress, skirt/blouse, jeans and sexy t-shirt... buy one.

My initial list went three pages and ended with SRS. I'm still working through that and adding to it as I learn.

[Christine167]

Excellent advice on this thread.
I've been at this for going on four months now and it does get easier.

[Samantha Stone]

I have been going so slow and I'm not near the end or at least being full time .
If I look back over time, I have changed a lot, mostly in my head. Now I cannot stop the train as its going faster and I can't or don't want to get off.

Samantha

[ashley_thomas]

I'm a turtle too... It's okay to go slow, the goal is to feel good, to feel at peace and okay with yourself.  What can you do right now to feel better?  Do THAT, then build from there, day by day.  Maybe tomorrow you get there, somewhere in the middle.  Maybe you don't stop and keep going.  Either way, today can be better than yesterday and tomorrow can be better than today...

[Jamie D]

It is nice to have you back, Qlink.  You disappeared for a year!

You are right, though.  It can become overwhelming if you let it.

You have been given some good advice, but nothing your mom didn't tell you when you were little.  "Take small bites and chew your food slowly.  If you try to eat too much at once, you are going to choke."

Same thing with coming to grips with your trans issues.  Little bites, chew thoroughly.

[kathyk]

Someone on Susan's (can't remember who) said something similar to this in the spring of 2012 when I questioned starting HRT.   

Paraphrasing - 'After starting HRT you just add something, and a little bit later something else, then something else, and something else.  And as the months pass you keep adding those "little somethings" along the way till suddenly one day you're out, full time, and happier than you could ever imagine.'

She was right about that.  But it sometimes takes a while to get used to some stuff. 

You'll make it.
K