Anyone sad about how they started

[TheBattler]

I am said about the depression I had. I think back to the mess I was last year (start of this year)  and that memory has me pushing me on looking deper into what it means to be a CD. I just wish there was another way to undersatnd that I was TG. Why can not our society understand what it is like for us and that we need to investigate everything  about the TG like.


Alice

[Berliegh]

I am said about the depression I had. I think back to the mess I was last year (start of this year)  and that memory has me pushing me on looking deper into what it means to be a CD. I just wish there was another way to undersatnd that I was TG. Why can not our society understand what it is like for us and that we need to investigate everything  about the TG like.


Alice

Alice, most of us are in a state of depression, and I've had more that 20 years of it. We are born this way and it's not something we can supress. Society doesn't understand us because the subject is never presented properly in the media or the good or positive aspects mentioned.

Berliegh   

[debisl]

Girls forget about depression. Pick your self up and be the woman you want to be. Concentrate on being a woman. Forget about all of the little stuff. If you put as much focus on being a woman as as being depressed you will have the problem solved. Don't worry about what people think. Think you want to be woman and do just that. Focus all of your mind to what you really want and forget the little things.

This is how I have done what I have done.

Deb

[Diane]

Deb, depression is a very serious mental illness. Mind over matter is not a cure for depression. Meds help some people, but many people can't even be helped with meds.

[The Middle Way]

Mind over matter is not a cure for depression.

Was for me. The trick is to not mind, and consider what really matters.

[Chandra21]

People fear what they can't understand... Its definately depressing for me to live as a transgendered person in a society that doesn't understand what it is about. I actually just got back from the Adult Mental Health Hospital in my city, because I felt like killing myself last week. Its a tough life we have to live but we have to be strong and move forward. ^_^

[gennee]

I discovered that I was TG only a couple of years ago. Before that I had some inner turmoil and didn't know why. Since accepting that I am transgender, I have never beeen happier. I feel liberated and complete. To me, being TG is a blessing.

We need to tell our own stories, too. The medical establishment and society really don't have a clue as to who we really are.

Gennee  

[Lisbeth]

Mind over matter is not a cure for depression.

Was for me. The trick is to not mind, and consider what really matters.

Climbing out of depression is no simple task.  First you have to come to believe there is a solution for what put you there.  Then you have to show yourself that you can make progress.  Unless you can get that far, you will feel trapped and slide back down.  Chemicals can prop you up with you climb out, but you still have to do the climbing.  By themselves drugs will not do you any good.  And your first goal after you start taking antidepressants to make a plan that will allow you to get off the meds.  Heaven help you if you have GID and can find no outlet for your gender identity.  The power of positive thinking won't help you then.  I know; I tried it.  The result is crashing like with drugs.

[Caroline]

Deb, depression is a very serious mental illness. Mind over matter is not a cure for depression. Meds help some people, but many people can't even be helped with meds.

Beating depression is mind over mind.*  The whole basis of treatments like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is that you can learn to think your way out of it.  There are some good books to help teach you to do this, "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns has some very useful info (though I haven't finished it yet)

GID can't be 'cured' like that, but the depression it often causes can be treated like any other depression.

(*but yes, some people do have depression that's mainly caused by genetics/chemical imbalance that's very hard to fix.  For the vast majority of trans people this isn't the case though)

[NatalieC]

It must be hard being CD. From what I can gather you live as both men and women. Not permanently one or the other right? That is depressing. Im sorry. I was depressed all the time. But only because I didnt have enough Eostrogen. Now with it I see a brighter future for myself as I look and feel better. The medical profession cannot be trusted with mental illness in my experience. Anti-depressants can make things worse if the underlying issue is not dealt with. It sounds like you dont have a chemical imbalance. Just frustration with our ignorant society. It makes me depressed thinking about the way TG people are treated in general. We need more heros! And Deb is right you should just think about being a woman and forget about all that other stuff. It is all little in comparison with your happiness!

[TheBattler]

Well I am glad I am on my Anti-depression meds - I definatly need them - I was so bad last year. It is giving me time to explore and work out where I am going.


Alice

[NatalieC]

Well I am glad I am on my Anti-depression meds - I definatly need them - I was so bad last year. It is giving me time to explore and work out where I am going.


Alice

thats great Alice! I hope you go to a great place.It took me 30 years of being called a girl and a loser to realise what a transsexual is. I dont know who I was kidding trying to act manly when I clearly didnt look the part. God I was messed up and depressed. But it wasnt my fault. I just feel sorry for all the men and women I confused before going on HRT and coming out. I didnt know what was going on. I used to think why are they calling me a ->-bleeped-<-? Whats that? Well I looked in the mirror one day on Acid and thought. Oh my God you are a woman. It was depressing at the time. But I felt I knew why then that my girlfriends were only ever friends. And why I like guys but felt guilty because of my Christian family and conditioning. Anyway if Meds help you with time thats great. Its one thing we need as TG's. Time and the chance to explore ourselves and our desires. Whatever makes us happy right!

[Berliegh]

thats great Alice! I hope you go to a great place.It took me 30 years of being called a girl and a loser to realise what a transsexual is. I dont know who I was kidding trying to act manly when I clearly didnt look the part.

My pre-transition story is similar to yours Natalie. I was called 'girlie' at school and beaten up. I didn't pass very well as a guy and it lead to all kinds of problems when I was younger. I was quite pleased I didn't look like the other boys. I remember going around with a gang of boys as a teenager and a lady said 'why do you hang around with boys'....'go around with the other girls instead'. amazingly the guys had longer hair than me too.

Years later I used to get pulled up with a male bank card in the supermarket and asked where I got it from. Security would be brought in and they still wouldn't believe it was mine. I thought it was quite funny as I was dressed in very male clothes (Levi jeans, white T shirt and jacket). I liked the idea that people thought I was female but it wasn't deliberate and I didn't think about transitioning. I always felt female but didn't feel the need to wear any special clothes although I was facinated by the shape of a girl's lower body  and longed to gain the exact same shape.

[Keira]

Until the age of 12-13, I got beat up all the time by school bullies because my face was kind of like the other girls (but not the body, I was already pretty strong, tall and lanky even before puberty) and was always playing with the girls during recess (Although, when once and awhile I played dodge ball, I really spiked the hell out of those jerks who went after me).

But, at puberty, I grew taller (but not larger) than all the other boys in my grade school and put on major muscles on my legs and core without even trying. Someone tried to trip me and my legs were like steal, they fell instead, then another day, they tried to put somebody crouched behind me without me knowing and push me over him, they couldn't even move me. The bully left me alone after that. Seeing as being a jock could protect from these assaults, I started doing a lot of competitive sports from then on.

[Berliegh]

Until the age of 12-13, I got beat up all the time by school bullies because my face was kind of like the other girls (but not the body, I was already pretty strong, tall and lanky even before puberty) and was always playing with the girls during recess (Although, when once and awhile I played dodge ball, I really spiked the hell out of those jerks who went after me).

But, at puberty, I grew taller (but not larger) than all the other boys in my grade school and put on major muscles on my legs and core without even trying. Someone tried to trip me and my legs were like steal, they fell instead, then another day, they tried to put somebody crouched behind me without me knowing and push me over him, they couldn't even move me. The bully left me alone after that. Seeing as being a jock could protect from these assaults, I started doing a lot of competitive sports from then on.

Great stuff....

[TheBattler]

I am said about the depression I had. I think back to the mess I was last year (start of this year)  and that memory has me pushing me on looking deper into what it means to be a CD. I just wish there was another way to undersatnd that I was TG. Why can not our society understand what it is like for us and that we need to investigate everything  about the TG like.


Alice

Alice, most of us are in a state of depression, and I've had more that 20 years of it. We are born this way and it's not something we can supress. Society doesn't understand us because the subject is never presented properly in the media or the good or positive aspects mentioned.

Berliegh   

20 years - that is a long time. I have slipped back into depression this last week. I thought I was climbing the ladder but the depression has just caught me again. I hope I am not depressed for that long - there needs to be a qucker solution.

Alice

[Buffy]

The solution is to accept Alice is part of your life, learn to love her.

Buffy

[Berliegh]

Girls forget about depression. Pick your self up and be the woman you want to be. Concentrate on being a woman. Forget about all of the little stuff. If you put as much focus on being a woman as as being depressed you will have the problem solved. Don't worry about what people think. Think you want to be woman and do just that. Focus all of your mind to what you really want and forget the little things.

This is how I have done what I have done.

Deb

None of us would be depressed if we looked like 'you'....

[Kate]

This is how I have done what I have done.

Deb

None of us would be depressed if we looked like 'you'....

Agreed... I mean I look at her pic sometimes and think, "Geez... why do I bother? I'm NEVER going to look that passable..." I realize it's not a beauty contest, and that comparing against others is pointless, but STILL... I can see how many girls would be thrilled with their results, where I just sometimes feel stupid for even TRYING when compared to her.

Alice, depression can come in waves. It WILL pass... if you just hang in there. But please forgive yourself too, I mean this IS a difficult journey we're all on - discovering who we REALLY are outside of who society tells us we "should" be. It hurts, I know, but it also means you're making progress, looking in the painful areas that need to be addressed in order to figure yourself out in depth.

~Kate~

[Lisbeth]

None of us would be depressed if we looked like 'you'....

Agreed... I mean I look at her pic sometimes and think, "Geez... why do I bother? I'm NEVER going to look that passable..." I realize it's not a beauty contest, and that comparing against others is pointless, but STILL... I can see how many girls would be thrilled with their results, where I just sometimes feel stupid for even TRYING when compared to her.

<------ Look at the picture to he left.  I never believed I would pass either.