Jobs and being a transgender..

[jossef-ftm]

Well,i have good and bad news, the good one is i finally found a job with a lawyer i went and he saw me and he didn't said anything about my look , the bad one is i think it's a feminine job i mean all lawyers  have a femal secretary ,he have alot of womens work with him and i'm the only guy in the office i dont feel confortable with thoes womens there , i always find a feminine jobs, my past one was in a hospital with a doctor i just feel it kinda weird i mean when you say a secretary everybody imagine a femal or maybe it's just me  i dont know,what you guys think?!i talk with a friend about it and she have the same idea she said its a femenin job and she said its kinda gay idk..i mean i need a job and this is my only chance and i will go but when i imagine my self as a secretary with those womens i dont feel confortable,did you guys work on a feminin job befor and how was poeple reactions,were they annoying you?! I ask a lot of question i know but i'm just confused , you know the first day in work..

[chuck]

Well,i have good and bad news, the good one is i finally found a job with a lawyer i went and he saw me and he didn't said anything about my look , the bad one is i think it's a feminine job i mean all lawyers  have a femal secretary ,he have alot of womens work with him and i'm the only guy in the office i dont feel confortable with thoes womens there , i always find a feminine jobs, my past one was in a hospital with a doctor i just feel it kinda weird i mean when you say a secretary everybody imagine a femal or maybe it's just me  i dont know,what you guys think?!i talk with a friend about it and she have the same idea she said its a femenin job and she said its kinda gay idk..i mean i need a job and this is my only chance and i will go but when i imagine my self as a secretary with those womens i dont feel confortable,did you guys work on a feminin job befor and how was poeple reactions,were they annoying you?! I ask a lot of question i know but i'm just confused , you know the first day in work..

Hey buddy

First of all, a big congratulations to you on your job. Now, do not let the fact that there are women in the office bother you! You have a job, you will get money and hopefully this will help your transition / help you leave your situation!

Also, I know you are not in the States or Europe, but we sometimes say "Administrative Assistant" instead of secretary. This sounds much less feminine to me.

Next, if I was in an office with only women I would be pretty happy about that. Good luck, and hang in there. 

[jossef-ftm]

Chuch thnx man for the reply and about womens they are not those kind of womens you imagine lol they are so old like 50 so why would you be happy lol plus i have a gf :p

[Natkat]

Nope, making it clear I don't think theres such things as woman or men job where I live even when there sure is steryotypes typical for men or women.
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however on my last course I was on team with some homeless people. when I where out I got asked "so are you homeless" all the time, cause pretty much all the people there where homeless or had been. it was kinda wierd, but I just said no it was just some new kind of experiment to make course which they had started. basically I could also had said the system had ->-bleeped-<-ed up alittle so I where in the same category as homeless, which also was the truht.

once in a while I have also said the system couldnt figure things out because im tecnically "a immigrent" but in general its just a lame excuse when I dont want to explain the whole thing, yes they do make fuss about me being an imigrent but the trust is they make fuss about me because im imigrent,trans, queer, and general not easy to label in there system. it tend to be abit more easy for me saying "im here because im an imigrent" or something easy people get than saying "im here because im a trans activist who quited the school after one of my friends where to be deportated somewhere where she could get killed bla bla bla"

so maybe you can figure out some simple excuse if they tend to ask you alot of questions.

[Jack_M]

Meh!  Don't worry about jobs for men or women, it's changing all the time!  When people say doctor, many jump to thinking of a man.  However, when I was in med school, there were 10 girls to every 1 guy so that's drastically shifted the other way.  I work in film/VFX and that used to be considered a more male based job.  Now, there's tons of girls!  In the department I'm in there's actually more girls than guys!

Defo think of it the way Chuck put it, 'Administrative assistant' has a better ring to it.  And if he's already aware of who you are and your appearance, they the lawyer isn't caring what you look like, you were hired as you.  Yeah, you maybe applied with a girls name, but, Jossef, come on, you're a strapping young lad.  If the guy who hired you wanted the stereotypical female secretary you're thinking about in your head, you wouldn't have gotten the job!  If you have the skills and aptitude for the job, that's all that matters.

So don't worry about gender + job associations.  YOU HAVE A JOB!  Celebrate, buddy!  We all going to party over at Jossef's later? 

[aleon515]

Chuch thnx man for the reply and about womens they are not those kind of womens you imagine lol they are so old like 50 so why would you be happy lol plus i have a gf :p

OLD like 50. Hey man, I resemble that remark!!!  But still it sounds like it could be well-paying as a secretary can be, and money gives you more options as a trans guy.

--Jay

[Taka]

i had this funny secretary-like job for a few months, as a female. but they called it advisor, of all weird things to call a job. i didn't advice anyone at all.

some kind of assistant, administrative or other, is more gender-less. i don't see anything feminine about a secretary, probably because i read too much yaoi, where all the secretaries are men. the japanese word for secretary doesn't sound gendered though..

[gatsby]

Congrats on landing a job!

Check with your boss to see if you can call yourself simply "assistant." That seems to be the more current term, here in the states anyway. (Not sure where you live.) Depending on your job duties, you might even be able to use a title like "paralegal" or "clerk," which in my experience anyway have far fewer gendered connotations. Of course, make sure your boss is cool with it first.

[JaredLeBlanc]

jossef-ftm,

Man, i am really happy to hear that you managed to find a job! Now, talking about the other things, i think you should stop thinking if this is a feminine job or not. I think this is NOT important as long as you can get paid for this job. I mean, as long as they don't ask you to do anything you don't want to do - it's ok.

So just stop thinking about it, go there and do what you are required to do. Dress the way you always do and act the ways you always do. Don't change anything. They accepted you when you were this way and this must go on the way it is right now.

So, good luck to you and i hope everything will be ok!

[aleon515]

Well I know a lot of male nurses and male teachers (both jobs traditionally in a female realm), consider yourself a trail blazer!
Men can do anything! You know that that hasn't necessarily always been true.

--Jay

[Exus]

Well,i have good and bad news, the good one is i finally found a job with a lawyer i went and he saw me and he didn't said anything about my look , the bad one is i think it's a feminine job i mean all lawyers  have a femal secretary ,he have alot of womens work with him and i'm the only guy in the office i dont feel confortable with thoes womens there , i always find a feminine jobs, my past one was in a hospital with a doctor i just feel it kinda weird i mean when you say a secretary everybody imagine a femal or maybe it's just me  i dont know,what you guys think?!i talk with a friend about it and she have the same idea she said its a femenin job and she said its kinda gay idk..i mean i need a job and this is my only chance and i will go but when i imagine my self as a secretary with those womens i dont feel confortable,did you guys work on a feminin job befor and how was poeple reactions,were they annoying you?! I ask a lot of question i know but i'm just confused , you know the first day in work..

I'm a nurse aid, still haven't taken T or surgery, the field is dominated by females and some males but mainly females. It doesn't bother me because I look awesome in scrubs but yeah, for now I'm using this job to get money so as long as I get paid and can achieve my transition, I'm good. You also shouldn't worry so much, who cares what people think or say. A job is a job.

[Lajs]

A lot of how you are perceived lies in how you act. If you don't act like a 'female secretary' you won't be treated like one. Act like a 'male assistant/advisor' and that is how they will see you. No-one will take into account the number of females already in the office. They'll look at you and make a first impression that will either be 'that's a dude' or 'that's a female secretary'. Be confident in your gender, be confident in who you are, and they will not dare (or think) to question it.

Well done on getting the job, anyway. I really hope it all goes well for you!

[DriftingCrow]

Hey Jossef,

I also work at an attorney's office, with a bunch of women. I understand what you mean, having a traditional pink collared job, but it's not too bad. It's bringing in some money. Also, you're a young guy, maybe if you like working there, you can become a lawyer yourself and you'll already have the know-how to do a lot of the work. 

I am a certified paralegal, and having "paralegal" on your resume, while still very feminine, does have a slightly more masculine edge to it. Also, you might feel more masculine, as Chuck said saying you're an "administrative assistant", but there's also other terms you can go by instead of secretary, like law clerk, legal assistant, and so on. I am not sure if these translate well into Portuguese, but I am sure there's plenty of similar terms you can use.   

[ZombieDog]

I'm a veterinarian assistant which is a female dominated job and work in an office where everyone is a woman except one of the vets.  No one will think you're gay or feminine for being in a position similar to a secretary.  One of my best transman friends is a nurse and he's about as straight as you get.

I know it's hard not to get hung up on labels, especially as a trans person, but this one is seriously going out of style.

Good luck with your new job!