I have been around this community long enough that I can say, you are definitely not alone, and not the only "retransitioner" I have encountered. The first time I encountered a retransitioner was about the year 2000 at an IFGE conference. I avoided talking to this person almost as if they had some form of detransition cooties. I lacked the confidence I have today to have a good discussion. I have also been around this little world long enough to know that every now and then religious groups will "plant" someone in order to talk someone else "out of the lifestyle" with talks of how rosy colored a jesus filled world is. I have also run into people who were duped and talked back to their birth gender only to become extremely depressed and suicidal that their own definition of who they are was stolen from them. I think what scares people in this community are the "plants". They are only out there to sow the seeds of discontent and nothing else. They bring no new thought to the table, just jesus this and jesus that. Without knowing, how is one to know a plant from a genuine person? Futhermore, how are some who are not quite confident yet to be able to react to what it is you have to say?
I see online all the time, the errors of other peoples ways, but you know what, it's not my life to live. Who am I to say what would or would not work for someone? But I have been around long enough to know when someone is about to make a big mistake. There are plenty of examples of unrealistic expectations, too much emphasis on hormones and not enough emphasis on the social landing zone. The boulevard of broken dreams is filled with half-transitions, people stuck in bad situations from coming out, people who shouldn't even do this in the first place. This process works for most and does not work for others. I don't consider any of that the fault of shrinks, surgeons or even bad water. Unless this is Iran, no one ever puts a gun to one's head and says do this.
I count myself among the happy post-transitional well adjusted people of the world. I was lucky in that I considered myself well adjusted when I started. The only thing I know about me that was wrong was my gender and I fixed it. The fact that I could come out the other end of the gender changing machine a whole well adjusted person is my testament that it does work, at least for me.
If you arrived at your place from thinking things through after your transition, then I applaud you for coming here and spilling your guts to the world. That alone takes guts. I only hope that the people who maybe should sit down and think this through 20 or 30 more times can learn from your words and thoughts before they become the next "retransitioner" out there in the world.
