This is the sort of thing I was trying avoid when transitioning by choosing a sliding approach, not a fixed date that then is called RLT or something. I never got that idea of having such a sharp divide. Thats not how this works really as HRT is slowly taking effect, personality and manners and expression and looks all change gradually - why force it by calling it a RLT and then be shocked if the rest of the world does not get it. Of course there are issues with the sliding approach, meaning to simply present from your self more and more female (not necessarily feminine), to let your female personality shine through more and more and to slowly adopt all the things from other women that girls in puberty learn as well - to let HRT do some work, to change haircuts and shift clothing... Those issues obviously are that at some point you are in a place where you can basically neither use the male nor female facilities because some people will gender you one way and others the other way. So it is not really a solution in general, but it might be a good idea to not expect the whole world to accept you as a woman just because you made the decision to call this part of your life RLE. If it does not work at the moment, then dont force it too much on others. Its a bit of a delicate thing to determine for oneself the point at which one chooses to try using the other side of the binary gender expression when it comes to bigendered spaces.
I think for women to accept you in such spaces, you have to make it possible for them to see you either as a woman or at least as no threat (this may include gays and transsexuals). If they are not convinced of that, you will be denied access. I cannot speak of that situation in particular though as I dont know what happened, but the reality is that to get to the point one is openly accepted takes some time. One can try to push it a bit, but not overdo it or get a violent backlash of the women who just will not be convinced to let you in.
