Hi, I'm new here, after lurking a few days.
So, to introduce myself, I'm Raven, I'm 55, and I like others here, have known since I was a young child that I was stuck in the wrong body. My story probably matches others, my secret stash of girl's clothes, etc. Although I did manage to be able to dress very androgynously in high school, because it's was during the glitter (glam) rock era. That allowed me to wear girl's clothes, nail polish, makeup etc. Not that it didn't stop me from being bullied.
I was also small, 5'5" and 120 pounds, and had long hair (I'm not that skinny anymore
) so I was mistaken for a girl constantly, which I loved.
After trying to suppress it for a long time, and after being married for 9 years, I have decided that I'll never be happy unless I'm true to myself. My marriage ended last year, not directly because of this—my ex doesn't know yet— but indirectly due to my constant ennui and general unhappiness.
In the past I suffered from constant anxiety, and later depression, and to this never day feel like I fit in. I'm a musician, so I do get to look different without drawing too much attention. I have shoulder length hair with a bright blue streak in the front, both ears and my nose pierced, and often wear nail polish. I do look younger than my age.
So it's time to move forward. Wish I had done it 20 or 30 years ago, but better late than never! I'm excited to find places like this, and not feeling so isolated. I recently started coming out to a few close friends, and it was very liberating. I wish I could snap my finger and be done with the whole process, but I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer.
I'm making an appointment with a gender therapist this week, and hopefully can start HRT soon.
