the urge to start my transition getting stronger

[kg85621]

I guess I have this site to blame for my urge to start my transition. It has gotten so much stronger after reading posts and seeing the positive impact it had made on people lives. I just cant bring myself to telling anyone. I would rather die than tell anyone. Watching youtube and seeing how happy people are with the before and after pics is another thing that makes me want to start. I am getting older and I know age matters when starting HRT. I wish I looked like a beautiful women that I want meant to be and who I am inside

[Christine167]

Welcome to party

Depending on just how old you look now you may be pleasantly surprised in how you look once you start transitioning. No miracles promised but I've been out of the closet for about 4 months total and on HRT for about 3 weeks now and I feel like I've shaved off 10 years of visible age already. Just exercise, losing weight and the early effects of HRT starting to soften my skin and hair making it look younger.

So there is some hope. Maybe not 20year old hottie hope but definitely beautiful woman for your age hope.

[JLT1]

In the end, telling people is somewhat hard.  The reactions are so mixed.  Sometimes, it just takes time for everything to straighten out.  I think when the pain of not transitioning is greater than the perceived pain of transitioning, the transition starts.  For some, the pain isn't that great that they never transition.  Some transition only part way; just enough to quell the urge.  For others, they do it late in life and others do it early.  There are no rules.

Don't worry about age.  I look better than my picture (new one coming in a week or so) but FFS can do wonders.

[Erin Brianne]

I can tell you from experience that the urges do no go away and a lot of the girls here will tell you the same thing.  Each time my feelings came out they were stronger than before.  You shouldn't blame this site for making your urges stronger.  If anything you are a little more educated from everyone's experiences that they have shared.  The ladies here will give you some very good advice as they have for me. I can only suggest you keep an open mind and take things one day at a time.

[FrancisAnn]

The earlier in life the better to remove all the wrong T hormones & replace them with nice estrogen. It takes years for a human body to change so do not delay if you are sincere to become a "beautiful woman".

Take care & good luck.

[Antonia J]

If you can, go talk to a gender therapist. Not just a regular counselor, but one experienced in dealing with trans* issues.  It will help you with coming out, dealing with the inevitable fallout that will occur, and help you put the pieces back together and make a map for finding the authentic you. A good therapist will also provide a safe place for you to vent frustrations and be a sounding board.  At least in the US a therapy letter is often needed to start hormones if you go that route. I will echo that the transgender feelings don't go away.

Best wishes to you.

[TerriT]

I thought it would go away for me when I was younger. Like, "Oh, I really want this but I'm too scared and too embarrassed and it wouldn't be right, besides I'll just feel better later." But it only got worse. I had tried reaching out to a couple of places for some help, but I didn't really get anywhere and I got frustrated. Eventually I just had to send an email to my doc and tell her what the deal was and what do I do next.

[Joanna Dark]

At least in the US a therapy letter is often needed to start hormones if you go that route.

I got to an informed consent clinic and after an intake visit and then a doctor visit and bloodwork, you get hormones. No letter needed. But if you don't live in a major city, yes the letter is needed. Transitioning was the greatest thing I ever did.

[mrs izzy]

From someone who is still around that has been walking this path for a long time i will say..... Yes it is possible to have a normal life. You know the kind where all your time is taken up with work, home and family. For me i was so tired of stuffing my feeling just to make everyone else happy. So i gave up on them and starte to put me as number 1 in my life. Was hard being i had a would be X wife, and 2 sons who loved what the male part of me could accomplish.

You need to look inside and see if it is time. Only you know when it is time to take the huge step forward. Oh and how you feel will ever go away? It did for me only after i had my GCS/GRS/SRS done. For me that part of my mind that keeped telling me the baby factory screwed up with the placement of my parts has been returned and relpaced with a newer model did not happen until i was the women in the mirror.

I know others who have went full time and just keeped HRT and living happy lifes. I know others who just have been on HRT for many years and are happy. I know many who have had BA and that was all needed. I know many more who have had to go all the way to SRS before things where ok. There is not any rules to this, you need to do it only for you.

Good luck on your path and wishing you a safe journey.
Izzy

[Sabrina]

Growing up I had some urges about being female (i.e. dressing up or wishing I would grow breasts) but suppressed those urges for years. It took a few failed relationships and soul searching for me to want to transition. The urges never went away, just were dormant. Seeing a gender therapist will most definitely help. Also, I try to slowly feminize myself for public view (i.e. changing hair style, wearing ladies undergarments, ladies jeans, and shoes) but not so obvious as to garner suspicion and totally dress up when alone to keep the urges in check while I explore the HRT route. If the urges are not kept in check, all that bottled up emotion might lead to negative consequences. Take things slow but steady and things will work out.