Ask Matt: Correcting Pronouns on Someone Else’s Behalf

[Natasha]

Ask Matt: Correcting Pronouns on Someone Else's Behalf

http://www.transadvocate.com/ask-matt-correcting-pronouns-on-someone-elses-behalf.htm
9/19/13
Matt Kailey

A reader writes:

    "Our good friends have a daughter, Linda (I changed the name that the reader sent in, because I didn't know if it was real or fictional).

    "Linda dresses and carries herself in a very masculine way.  She has done this for as long as we've known her – five years or so. She shops in the men's section of clothing stores and seems to identify more with being a male.

    "Several times we have all been out for dinner and the server will refer to Linda as 'he.' It's not surprising and I can see why they mistake her for a man.  However, what confuses me is why no one speaks up. My husband and I want to say something to correct the server.  We feel like we should defend Linda, but we don't say a word. Linda doesn't either – and doesn't seem fussed by the mistake. And her parents don't acknowledge it in the moment or afterwards. We all just go one as if nothing has happened.