Ask Matt: Correcting Pronouns on Someone Else's Behalf
http://www.transadvocate.com/ask-matt-correcting-pronouns-on-someone-elses-behalf.htm9/19/13
Matt Kailey
A reader writes:
"Our good friends have a daughter, Linda (I changed the name that the reader sent in, because I didn't know if it was real or fictional).
"Linda dresses and carries herself in a very masculine way. She has done this for as long as we've known her – five years or so. She shops in the men's section of clothing stores and seems to identify more with being a male.
"Several times we have all been out for dinner and the server will refer to Linda as 'he.' It's not surprising and I can see why they mistake her for a man. However, what confuses me is why no one speaks up. My husband and I want to say something to correct the server. We feel like we should defend Linda, but we don't say a word. Linda doesn't either – and doesn't seem fussed by the mistake. And her parents don't acknowledge it in the moment or afterwards. We all just go one as if nothing has happened.
