Hi gang, last night was bad for me, I was a wreck as it goes (not on forum here, I mean at home, my place, the off line world that is).
I have a great son, and a great wife, but you know how it goes, sometimes we need someone that can relate more than just a shoulder or an ear.
I feel so totally lonely. I say this, because some times, the great posts here, the encouragement, it isn't what I need. I need a person that is in the same place as me, and I need them here, the same spot, within touching range, able to see my face, see if I am really doing ok, able to hear my voice and know precisely how I am feeling at that moment.
I live in a nice small town, great place in many ways, but, small is not all upsides and bonuses.
I have no access to professionals, I have no access to a market to sell me things I need. It's all online and it is thus all remote, and unable to just be there to say 'Lesley that wig isn't any good try this one on' or 'nope, that skirt sucks, try this one on' or what do you think of my new shoes?'.
I need some sort of hair option, and I need some form of bust alternative stand in and need someone to actually talk to while learning what I need.
But there is no one here for me. All the niceness of cottage country, but nothing for Lesley Roberta the TG girl who feels all alone.
I have no car, so travel is not an option. I have no real income, so just getting on some form of public transportation option is really not going to work. It's not like I am broke, but I need to be smart about it. Heck I can help with gas costs, and a home cooked meal is child's play for me, complete with baking a great dessert too. I just need someone to respond to a plea for a visit.
I need to sit with another TG person, to be able to drink a beer and talk with another woman that has my problems face to face and exchange comments about our mutual hassles. I need that support group feel. I have no support groups to work with here that I am aware of. It's not so easy to find TG persons eh. We have no LGBTG at all in town. If you said you'd give me 100 bucks if I introduced you to just 5 people that belonged within the letters LGBTG, I'd likely fail.
I think and suspect, that when I walk down the street wearing perfume and carrying a purse, and wearing jewellery, I am not even drawing attention at all. Just an odd guy is my expectation. I see half of humanity carrying a bag these days, my purse is not really that noticeable. And half the males I see, they seem to have an earring and a necklace on. I don't think I even look that different. I suspect if I had not spread it all over my Facebook page, no one would really know anything much at all.
So here is the comment I need to make. I live in Lindsay Ontario Canada. It's a 90 minute drive from Toronto along the 401 and up the 115. It's north of Oshawa. It's 30 minutes west of Peterborough, it's 30 minutes east of Barrie. It's in the middle of some very plain boring rural Canada farmland driving. It's a town of 21k and it has a few nice places to dine at. I can't offer any night life at all, and there are no points of interest for a tourist. There's a great campground spot on the edge of town that is free at the Ken Reid Conservation area. It has covered shelters.
But Lindsay has me, and anyone interested in giving me a visit, gets a free dinner and dessert made by my own hands, and I will help with the gas (if you warn me in advance of course).
Interested in a nice drive, and a relaxing visit away from the insanity of the big smoke? I live where people are always headed on the long weekend eh. There is a good hotel edge of town for those that desire that. If you are coming here solo, I can set you up at my mom's apartment, they offer visiting family a room for 15 bucks a night (you can't beat that eh). I of course can let you crash at my place for free too
I have no problems with you bringing family (aside from you warning me to buy more meal supplies hehe).
I have no preferences for who wants to give me a visit. Age is not a limit, nor is being MTF, as I m fully aware that FTM persons share the same level of difficulties. For that matter, if you were born into a female form, odds are you can teach me plenty too
I welcome anyone that has comments that can aid me in feeling less lonely here. PM me or contribute to the thread, but I want to meet people, actually shake their hand, offer a hug, share some laughs, and maybe just prove to myself I am not alone.
The loneliness is slowly killing me.
