Emerging Female Personality

[genderhell]

Hello,

Please help me.

Without getting into the redundant details of transitioning that I am sure we all know, let me get right to the point.

I am a 43 year old, mtf, autistic person.

I am at the point in transition where my original female personality is fully expressive, and my fake male persona is mostly gone.

For example, I was riding with my mom and she was telling me about my cousin and his hardship, and I blurted out without any pre-thought, "Oh, that is so terrible". I thought to myself at the time,  where did that come from ? My male persona would of never said that.

There appears to be little information to describe what I am going through of the suppressed personality being set free and emerging. With this take years ?

It is slightly scary cause I don't know if people turn out to be dramatically different than their former fake personalities.

One thing I found out .. when I was a male I ate slightly piggish, but now I desperately trying to get to a 27 inch waist to get into a smaller dress. It is so weird to have these profound brain changes.

Any links would be appreciated, but I have searched online and there is little information.

Thanks.

[Jamie D]

"Will it take years?"  I would think not - but that is entirely up to you.

I am one of those who has come around to the realization of who I am rather slowly.  There are others who know and express themselves rather readily.

It is all about what you are comfortable doing.  Are you on HRT yet?

[genderhell]

Are you on HRT yet?

I started HRT at age 32, however, it was not enough to dissolve my male persona, so I "de-transitioned" off the estrogen, and lived with "gender dysphoria" of constantly wishing I could be a girl. I have taken spiro for 11 years.

It has taken me 11 years for my original personality to be in control and the gender dysphoria to mostly end. Now it is so clear to me that gender dysphoria is a suppressed personality wanting to be free.

[Jessica Merriman]

Baby, I have already noticed a big change in myself. I am a 47 year old MTF on HRT two months now. Emotions, I now cry at movies, feel stronger about things than I used to, find myself saying things like "totally" and have loosened up quite a bit. Another interesting thing is when I dream, I am a woman in them. Being born male I was totally heterosexual. I did not look at guys, date guys or have any interest. I now am starting to notice them and some of the dreams I have about them, wow! Not saying this will happen to you, but it has for me. This is how HRT has affected me personally. It seems like my inner woman is breaking out like the Hulk! Take care baby! 

[MaryXYX]

My diagnosis was Asperger.  The doctor said quite severe but I don't agree because I had a wife and a job - severe is when you have no chance of either.

After I got the dx I started examining who I really was, and a female 'alter' emerged.  For a while I was dissociative, although I never got as far as DID.  My T said there was "evidence of dissociation" and she might go as far as DDNOS.  It didn't take me long to go from there to realising the female part was the real one and starting to make plans to transition.  It took some time longer to put them into practice.

As an Aspie I had the difficulty with emotional communication and people said I had no empathy.  Now I do voluntary work with vulnerable people, which requires quite a lot of empathy.  I used to be very introverted and had no social life.  Now I'm probably still introverted as I need to rest after a lot of social interaction, but I enjoy getting out and meeting people.

It took me something like two years to develop my own personality, or at least to be able to express it openly.  It might depend when I start counting from and I expect it will differ for other people, but I would be interested in comments from other Aspies/Auties here.

[Sammy]

I would say after all those years of imprisonment my personality is breaking through as a volcanic eruption . I almost need to keep myself in check to prevent awkward male mode fails

[suzifrommd]

My basic personality has not changed. However there are things I do that I never did before and things I used to do that I don't. I like different types of social occasions. I now prefer shopping and conversation to movies, sports events, etc. That's because I'm myself so I'm more comfortable with letting people see me.

I now care more about my appearance because, well I'm a woman and that's part of what women are socialized to do. Therefore I crave shopping because it gives me an opportunity for more variety.

OTOH, I do my job, which is highly interactive the same way I always have.

I hope you have an experience similar to mine, feeling the woman within me blossoming and finding out that I truly love her.

[genderhell]

but I would be interested in comments from other Aspies/Auties here.

There should be a forum for ASD-GID people here.

In my experience, an ASD makes it harder to understand GID.

There must be thousands of people with ASD and GID. Yet, so few are on the internet.

Maybe we commit suicide at a higher rate than merely having GID.

[MaryXYX]

There should be a forum for ASD-GID people here.

In my experience, an ASD makes it harder to understand GID.

There must be thousands of people with ASD and GID. Yet, so few are on the internet.

Maybe we commit suicide at a higher rate than merely having GID.

In my experience there a far more people with ASD and GID than the statistics would predict.  Some of the experts are aware of this and there is research going on.

I don't know about suicide rates, but they are high for ASD and high for GID so it is quite possible.

Say more about making it harder to understand.  I went fairly quickly from having a strong feminine aspect to knowing I am female.