What would you tell your pre-transition self?

[suzifrommd]

If I could phone my pre-transition self to soothe her worries, I would tell her:

* Your looks and voice will pass. That hard work will pay off.

* Your family, friends, and coworkers will accept you.

* As a woman, you will do your job just as well and enjoy it more.

* Your laser hair removal will work in the end, so don't fret if the first few treatments are disappointing.

* You will be attractive enough that men will pay attention to you.

* You will easily prove up to the task of living every day as a woman. You will quickly get used to it and totally LOVE the woman you become.

What would you tell your pre-transition self (and any other pre-transition folk listening in)?

[ErinM]

- It's not even a fraction as scary as you're making it out in your mind.

- Look it one small step at a time and not all at it once.

- Stop dragging your feet on this and get started already.

[KabitTarah]

I am my pre-transition self... if I could tell my pre-out self (at any point), I'd say "the earlier you hurt your wife, the better".... or "don't get married before you come out transgender!"

[FrancisAnn]

For me. I've always mentally been a girl since early childhood.

So I would tell myself to just have all these steps completed. Take HRT, remove all wrong T stuff, enjoy life as a normal person/feminine, have all necessary surgeries to look as normal as possible, have SRS finally. Just complete all these things to have a normal life & enjoy your life as best possible.

Ignore or overcome all problems in your way to a happy normal life. You deserve a happy normal life for yourself.

One last important item: Do not try & wear shoes that are a little small for your feet not matter how great they look!

[bethany]

Start to transition ASAP!!

[Femboy]

I would tell my young self

• it's okay that you're a feminine fairy boy and not a macho manly man! And you're not alone.  You'll find lots of other fem trans men in the future!
• Don't be a douchebag to try and get people to understand you're a guy.  Cut out that misogynistic bullcrap!
• Your body is incredible.  Do everything you can to love and appreciate it as is, but don't let your determination to learn self-love keep you from being honest with yourself about the ways you want/need to change your body
• Look up generalized anxiety disorder.  You have this! An early diagnosis and ongoing treatment will save you so many years of agony

[kelly_aus]

Just Do It..

[Antonia J]

You're going to have to be really strong, but you can get through it. Don't lose hope.

[Cindy]

It's easy.
The worry is over nothing.
Live your life

Why haven't you started you silly cow?

[NathanielM]

I'd tell sicteen year-old first starting to doubt me: You're right, you've been good at knowing who you are for years and you know now. Stop doubting!

[ZoeM]

I'd say three things:
1. Start saving on Day 1 of your new job.
2. Start growing your hair out and practicing your voice immediately
3. You're going to be just fine. (Which I'm sure young-me could tell from seeing and hearing future-me)

[Liam]

This is really nice to read when I'm still pre-transition.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora S,

Re: What would you tell your pre-transition self?

S*#t happens !

Metta Zenda

[eli77]

Dear idiot. Transitioning is going to be super easy for your overly privileged ass. All the people who love you are still going to love you. You will have zero problems with passing and all that nonsense. And you will have a super hot girlfriend. Maybe stop freaking out and start already?

[bingunginter]

I would tell myself do not transition. Its not going to make you better or happier.

[bingunginter]

What makes you say that?

Because that is my situation right now.

[Jessica Merriman]

I would tell myself RUUN! The "T" monster is coming! He'll mess you up real bad if it catches you and multiplies! Hurry, "T" is gaining on you!

[mrs izzy]

Self, You will be getting a mind f..k by your X, it is all a lie. She is only going to take everything you own. Do not pick up the .un.  Start looking at things as positive and put in effect things that will place her on the loosing end. Everything no matter how bad you think they are, are just not true.

Never quit being who you are inside. You only will lose if you give up. Someday you will be looking back and saying today is my 6th month post-op day, a true milestone.

Happy 6 month birthday
Izzy

[Ltl89]

I'm too early in my transition to make a big statement, but I would prepare my past self to get ready for the difficulties with my mom.  I sort of went into scared but thinking it would go a lot better than it did.  If I had prepared myself in advance, I could have saved some heart ache and been a little more proactive about that.  Since my mom is like my best friend, I couldn't of ever fathomed some of the things that were said.

Also, I would remind my younger self that things aren't going to just fall into place like I foolishly hoped. "You are a 19 year old girl with much potential and can do this, but you need to face the struggles as well.  Letting the time go by in hopes for a fantasy to come true would be a tragic mistake."

As for my current and early transition 24 year old self, "please snap out of it and start putting yourself out there.  You desperately want to live as a girl so why are you waiting and continuously delaying your happiness". Problem is she doesn't listen.

[Carrie Liz]

I would tell my pre-transition self: (my self during my denial period from age 18 to age 26 or so)

1. It's not too late. Hormones WILL work on you.

2. Get going on it. You think that you're over your trans desires, and that everything is going to be fine in your life. It's not. You're living in denial. You're miserable and unmotivated, and you know that you're miserable and unmotivated. And even when you have everything you thought you wanted, this feeling will not go away. Healing is a long process, but it can't begin until you finally admit to yourself that you really do want to be female. Every day that you wait is just another day of hating your body that you'll have to put up with.

3. You do have the courage to go public with this. You just don't know it yet. Don't be ashamed of who you are.

4. Everyone that you love will be completely fine with it. Don't worry about their expectations. They don't love this perfect self that you try to be for them. They love YOU, the real you. Your mother is hurting because she saw how depressed you were in high school and she felt powerless to help. When you finally admit why to her, she'll cry and say "I've finally got you back," and you'll be closer to her than ever.

(If we're going to go back to being even younger, so that I can talk to my middle school self:)

5. Come out as trans NOW!!!! Stop your voice from changing, and stop puberty before it happens. You know that you're absolutely petrified of losing that beautiful voice, and you know that you're jealous of girls in every way, and you hate body hair and hate your offending lower male anatomy. It's not because you're a weirdo. It's because you're transsexual. You really are. And if you don't do something about it now, you're going to spend the entire rest of your life wishing that you could have. You will miss that voice FOREVER. And if you do it now, you'll look so much like a genetic girl that it will be impossible for anyone to tell. Hormones, damn it!!! You're not doomed to suffer through a male puberty that you hate every single second of. If only you had known about testosterone-blockers...

6. Quit caring so damned much about what other people think about you. It's not your problem, it's theirs. They're projecting their own social insecurities onto you. Don't let them get to you. Live your life, and be proud of who you are. Don't deny yourself for the sake of fitting in once you get to high school. It is the single worst mistake that you will ever make in your entire life. Fitting in won't make you happier. You will only change from suffering publicly, to suffering in silence, feeling like not a single person in the world knows the real you.

7. You know how you wish you could be a girl? Well guess what, kiddo? You are going to be one some day. And it really is going to feel every bit as wonderful as you imagine in your little nighttime fantasy stories that you write. Just wait until you feel that amazing feeling of someone telling you that you're sweet and that you're beautiful for the first time. It will blow your freaking mind, and you will NEVER feel so happy.