What would you tell your pre-transition self?

[Megumi]

It's early for me as I'm just making my first step into all of this but the one major thing I wish my current self could tell myself 10 years ago is this.

Don't live a lie, you will only hurt yourself time and again with every thought and desire for happiness but then suppress and hide it away in a dark corner in your soul. The feelings you have will NOT go away, EVER! No matter how much you want them to they never will. You might be able to suppress them and do big macho guy things to show everyone how much of a guy you are. But you'll end up feeling an emptiness that nothing can ever fill no matter what you try to put into it, no physical item can replace the real you. You are going to end up being so sad in life that every time it comes to taking a family picture you physically CAN'T even force a half smile from being in so much agony. Your eyes will tell a story that no words you've ever uttered to the people in your life that do care and ask why you have this look of tremendous pain all the time. You'll lie and say it's because of something that's not really true and then you'll feel bad again, hate yourself for being a coward, and feel disappointed all because you didn't have the courage to tell them the REAL reason why. That moment when you take that first step in setting up your first appointment with a LGBT therapist to start your journey into being the real person that you are will allow you to wake up and actually smile back to the image in the mirror for the first time in many many long years. You don't want to be in agony like this for a decade, just make that first step girl!   

[Northern Jane]

This is an easy one! Without any doubt, I would want to talk to my 8 year old self and tell her:

- you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, you are a girl; don't let them confuse you or try to convince you otherwise - it will be a waste of time!

- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! Those whom you love and trust do NOT know what is good for you and, worse yet, they don't CARE about you, only about themselves. They will badger you about this until you are suicidal and waste many precious years. PUT YOURSELF FIRST! You will have to eventually, in order to survive, so don't waste time. What is being done to you is child abuse and you deserve better!

- There ARE resources out there to help you but you have to DIG for them, you have to be pushy - be pushy! You are entitled.

- Don't ignore the 'social services' - you need a  guardian, someone outside of the family who doesn't have a personal agenda and will look out for your well-being. You need a voice, someone on your side!

(I was 8 years old  in 1957 and didn't transition until 24 - just about didn't make it!)

[Jenny07]

Seeing that this is Day one on E, yes after so long finally made it.

I would tell myself 20 years ago to get off your lazy butt and stop making excuses and get on with it and be true to yourself.
The earlier you do it the better the results are so get on with it. It's not as scary as I feared as the fear controlled me for so long.
Only took 6 weeks. Wow.

Yes it takes courage but therapists are understanding and IT wont ever go away and you will be miserable for your whole life pretending to be someone you're not.

[anjaq]

Of course it depends on how much pre transition my other self would be. If its early enough, I would say
* yes you really are a girl even though you look like a boy
* dont let others tell you otherwise, there are others like you
* People exist who have changed their body to be a girl, you can do it too
* your sexuality then will be nothing to hate anymore
* you will feel good about you and right, you will discover that you really always have been a girl and not a boy who wants to be a girl.
* Dont let them tell you that you have to already know you are a girl, how would you do that if you have not lived as a girl, its ok that for now you feel like you rather want to become a girl. Once you live as a girl, you will discover that this was always how its meant to be
* Get those hormones really soon, every month counts

If I would be talking to my just pre-transition self, I would say similar things but also maybe add some more practical tips.
* take super care you dont gain weight, its way too easy to gain weight as a woman
* dont let it slack on the laser treatments, get it done in 2 years and then do electro, the sooner this is done the better
* Dont be afraid of the voice therapist and stay with her after the first hour, your voice needs a lot of work and doing it just by yourself is not the best option. Its going to be the most crucial thing. People will tell you surgery of the voice does not work, but dont be too afraid, just wait a few years.
* Consider not choosing Dr XXXX for SRS, he is good but has his bad days.
* Go out more as long as you are young and dont shy back from entering relationships even though you may not know yet if you like boys or girls.
* And yes, you are going to pass
* Oh and your mom will come around in time, your dad will take a while longer but even he will come around and accept you as his daughter. He likes you to do the education or carrer thing though, but thats not a problem for you, you are a smart girl and can make your dad proud of his daughter. Oh and your sister is going to marry and have a kid, so no sweat about ending the family heritage by doing SRS.


- thats fun.

[suzifrommd]

Seeing that this is Day one on E, yes after so long finally made it.

Oh Jenny, congratulations.

[Alice Rogers]

Do it 20 years sooner!

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

Too early on to say but if I could say anything to my younger self it would be "Speak up sooner even though you have no idea what is going on someone might."

[Zumbagirl]

I would say,


Don't be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. The first step is the hardest, but it's really not that hard at all.

Don't hide yourself away from the world just because you think you are different.

Everything you ever thought about your gender is true, you really are a girl so stop wasting time trying to hide it by burying yourself in other male dominated activities.

Don't live your life to make other people happy. It only makes you more and more miserable. You can measure up to all of the successes that everyone expects of you, but it still isn't going to matter an iota, you will still be miserable.

When you start on your journey don't sit there and read the standards of care 5 times a day like its a damn cookbook. Is not that complicated really and it's not even that scary.

That's all I can think of for now

[Dedwards]

- Be strong buddy. We get through this in the end.
- One day, you will get control of your life back. The pain will end. Dad will leave.
- Look after mum. Pour it all away. You know what I mean.
- Come out as soon as possible. It'll get you there a lot quicker.
- And in the end? Well.. Spoilers.

[Alara]

I'm just starting to transition, and I have to say this actually brought a tear of happiness to my eye. Having all these doubts day in and day out sucks and I feel like I'm just a clock stuck in motion. Hearing all of you say that is like hearing it from myself and I can't express how much I'm beaming with joy

[Gina Taylor]

I would have transitioned 30 years ago instead of waiting till now . . .

[Ms Grace]

Well I'd say pretty much all that stuff - but I'd also tell myself the future lottery numbers. Gotta pay for the transition somehow!

[Rachel85]

Listen to me now...

Dont listen to anyone!

Speak up! Be yourself and not what you think people think you should be!

Don't be afraid of learning about yourself and don't be afraid of accepting yourself.

School sucks. don't worry, it's only 12 years...

Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.

Your family and true friends love you. Never forget that.

Lastly, the winning cross lotto results for tonight are 42 9 26 3 16 27. Buy a ticket.
(OMG, lamest joke ever but I didn't see anyone else say it yet.)

- And in the end? Well.. Spoilers.

LOL. I'm on my way but still at the beginning too, but I love a good surprise!

I've had this theory since I was about 6 that if I saw my future self walking down the street I wouldn't recognise myself. Haha! So true!

[Rachel85]

Well I'd say pretty much all that stuff - but I'd also tell myself the future lottery numbers. Gotta pay for the transition somehow!

LOL, I wrote my post while you were writing
Great minds think alike?

[amZo]

- Don't increase your calories believing the fat will redistribute to the 'right' areas... they do and they don't... just stay skinny!
- Take your spiro with milk to avoid stomach upset.
- Eat more fiber and drink more water.
- Take fish oil for better skin and hair.
- Good luck.

[Incarlina]

1. Take a deep breath
2. Relax
3. It's all going to be ok in the end

[LordKAT]

You are normal, there are others like you.

Transition is possible.

This is what to do about it, (describe dysphoria and all that goes with it)

[Cosi555]

im going to print this entire thread off and stick it on my wall for motivation.

this is everything we need to hear when starting out.

we arnt alone, we are loved and its ALL good

[Tristan]

dont let doctors and lawyers decide things for you. wait and just go to the facility 

[Jill F]

Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

This is something I found in a fortune cookie just prior to deciding to make it all permanent.  This fortune now covers the name and gender marker of my driver's license. 

I thought for years that taking this plunge would amount to nothing but very bad things for me and that I was still better off playing the hand I got dealt.  I pushed my gender issues as far back as I could, dismissing transition as something that was absolutely impossible, as well as telling myself for decades that it was impossible that I was truly transgender.

Not only was transitioning possible, it was the best move I ever made for myself.  It is nice that my gender issues came to a head when I was finally financially secure enough to make it happen and that my wife stuck with me.  Had I transitioned when I was in college, I don't think my life would have turned out as well overall, so I refuse to kick myself for not doing it sooner.

This is not the only fortune from a cookie that I keep.   There was another that I got a week before I got married almost 20 years ago that reads,  "You and your wife will be happy in your life together."  Scary!  I always wondered why I opened that one and not my wife-to-be, but now I know it would have been just as valid.