I've spent a long time thinking about this subject. Maybe more than I normally would do. And have kept an eye on the sentiments expressed in the thread. My own thoughts on it are... well, hard to express adequately. Nevertheless:
Firstly, I don't wish to comment on what impact being transgendered has had on my life directly. I consider that largely a matter of perspective and I could equally express positivity or negativity depending on my mood and how I view a certain thing at any given time. What I would like to talk about is what effect being transgendered has had indirectly on my life. And I think for the most part that has come about through meeting other people dealing with the same issues on a day-to-day basis.
When I first came out to myself, I felt lost. Bewildered. Isolated. But it wasn't the fact of coming out which did it. It was putting a name to feelings I'd had for most of my life. It was finally nailing one of the major causes of everything which had confused and saddened me up to that point.
Maybe that in itself was not a gift, but it did lead to one. It led to me coming here. It led to me meeting people who inspired me, and who continue to do so. It led to me seeing another side to life. People who have tremendous determination, tenacity, strength of character... and at the same time a compassion and solidarity to be there for each other no matter what life throws at them.
Yes, life has had its hardships, and will no doubt continue to do so. But through wanting to learn about myself, and move forward in whatever way I can, it has led to me discovering more about myself than gender. More about myself than what I am. It has led to me discovering
who I am. And that, I consider a gift.
Being transgendered has indirectly led to me having an appreciation for the hardships that can be, and are endured on a daily basis. It has led to me getting a glimpse of something deeper and more meaningful than the watercooler gossip that many people in my life seem content with. It has led me to have the privilege of being able to guide people, to listen to people and offer what comfort I can to others in need. And
that, to me, is a gift. To find out some of the things I am able to do and utilise those skills in a way that benefit other people.
I don't know if I would have found all this had the chain of events been set in motion which led to this point. But it did, and here I am. In some ways things are harder now, yes. But in some ways I have more of a base with which to combat these things.
For me, being transgendered is what it is. It's something to be integrated as one strand of a life lived. What I do consider a gift are the myriad other interwoven strands that have been discovered as a byproduct of that. The connections formed. Lessons learned. Interactions and emotional growth which has come about through it.
I guess what I'm trying to say, in a round about way, is that whether being transgendered is a gift or not... learning that I can be so much more than that definitely is a gift. One which I don't often appreciate as much as I should. And that walking a hard road may be tough, but finding people who share your journey and are willing to pick you up when you fall, to say "It's okay, I'm here for you.". That is a gift.
You folks are a gift. Whether you know it or not. And not because of being transgendered or not. Not because of what you are, but because of
who you are.
Anyhow, I've rambled enough. Make of that what you will.
