I can't wait

[Jace]

I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out. I'm not out to anybody except a few people and certainly not my parents. It's my last year living with them and I really don't want to cause any strife while I'm still in the house. But it's been getting harder and harder since I've decided I do want to transition. I actually know now that what I'm feeling is dysphoria and I just want it to go away. I want to be called Jace by everyone. I want people to say what a handsome young man I am and not a pretty girl. I want to scream it to everybody that I'm a dude. But I can't, not yet at least. Right now not transitioning is what's best for me. Finishing up high school easily, performing my dream role in the Nutcracker, having a peaceful home life. It outweighs my discomfort still. But god I wish I could just let it out, it's feels like this awful terrible secret I'm keeping and I'm terrible at keeping secrets.

[Joe.]

I know how that feels man. I couldn't hold out either and eventually caved in. It must be so hard trying to keep it all in. I admire your bravery and determination to do well. You've done really well to identify what is right for you at the moment and not many people can do that. I wish you all the very best with everything.

[CursedFireDean]

I'm in the same boat bro, I realised two and a half years ago that I was trans and decided 1.5-2 years ago that transitioning was definitely for me. But I won't be able to start until I graduate high school this year, and I've been waiting so long that it's getting hard. I just keep telling myself I've only got a little less than 8 months left. And that number is coming down quicker than I expected, I feel like just yesterday it was 10.
I've found that planning things out, for example, the day I want to come out on facebook, the day I want to schedule my first T shot/patch/whatever I end up with, etc. really helps me focus less on the now and more on the future.