Quote from: LearnedHand on September 26, 2013, 12:08:21 AM
As seen in another thread today (well, technically yesterday now
), some trans folks who identify as religious are quite angry at God for making them trans and can't understand the reason why they were born this way.
The way I see it, is that you're born a certain way for a reason, whether it's being born trans, physically disabled, cis-female, etc. To me, there's no point in indulging in anger, I believe we're here to learn something and then move on (whether it's to another life as I believe or to face Judgment as others may believe). God isn't a big magician in the sky here to grant all of our wishes, because our wishes might not be what we actually need to develop as a better soul.
I think in a prior life I must have been intolerant to something, and Waheguru (God) thought I'd learn tolerance better if I was born as a trans person. Perhaps I was a male chauvinist who needed to learn to appreciate women, maybe I did something bad to a trans person, perhaps I was just filled with intolerance in general to anyone who wasn't like me. Or, instead of seeing being trans as a punishment for bad karma, maybe being trans is a reward, being trans does give me a certain amount of freedom, it's just a punishment in our society, maybe it's not spiritually.
Being trans has made me a better person, though I am still far from being perfect and still have a lot to learn. As being an outcast in society who's misunderstood and would face extreme prejudice if I came out to my employer, some family members, and so on, I've learned to be more empathetic to other minorities and to be aware of prejudice and discrimination where it might normally be overlooked if I was just a member of the majority. Being born FAAB and socialized as female, I am more aware of the hardships women face in society and the inequalities for both genders. Since people look at me and see something different that what I actually am, I've learned to not be so judgmental of people by placing on them what I think they should be or how I want them to be, but force myself to try to see them as they actually are and how they want to be seen.
Being born transgender isn't something for me to get angry about or to think that it's not fair. Life is a gift and my job here on Earth is to make the best of it, to better myself, and see what comes next.
While some anger is probably just a natural human feeling that might pass over time, if you have a religion and actually believe in it, that's where you need to put your trust and faith; if you believe that God created you, you need to ask God to show you the reasons why you were given the burden/gift of being trans so you can get over your anger and disappointment. Harboring ill feelings won't allow you to progress spiritually.
These are just my thoughts, feel free to express yours.
Ik ongkar
Henry 
Hi, Henry,
While I have nothing but respect for your opinion and/or belief, I just have this to say in my most respectful of ways possible, and as I say it I will speak for myself though I'm brave enough to bet money that other trans people such as myself may feel the same way --
Here's where I stand as far as the whole "God had a good reason for making you transgender" prophecy goes:
If God/Universe/whoever higher being up there has a good reason for making me trans, fine, but I don't care. If God did have a good reason for making me transgender then do I have a good reason for wanting to change the body that God gave me? I'm not expecting a "yes" or "no" answer to that. But I will tell the short story that for a few years prior to her conversion to atheism, my mom's been lecturing me that God knew what He was doing when He decided I should be born male and that if God wanted me to be a girl, I would've been born a girl, and that I'm being selfish and disrespectful to God for wanting to change the body he gave me and for not caring that he's had a good reason for not letting me be born female, yada yada yada... Well let me just say for certain: She's already added to the pain that I've been already enduring.
If those were the cases, I wouldn't be transgender anymore if I cared! I wouldn't have any desire or reason to transition because I care so much about the "good reasons" God had or has for making me a girl in a boy's body.
No disrespect toward God by any means whatsoever, but I feel that I definitely and indeed should have been born female and there is absolutely
nothing no one could ever say to me to convince me otherwise. You couldn't hold a gun or knife on me and lead me out of that belief. I do also hold the believe that if God really and truely wanted me to keep the body that he gave me, he would've either let me be born a girl from the get-go or made me so that I'm fully male with a male persona (which I'm glad he didn't do) and I'm guessing the same goes for the whole trans community as a whole too, that's why we're transgender.
In fact, this is why I tend to stay away from religion! I mean, religion is what lead people into believing that being trans/homosexuality is a sin! Because people are afriad of what they can't understand but I just had to get this out.
My co-worker at work once: "You shouldn't be mad at 'the man upstairs' because God knows far better than you."
My response should've been this: "Really? Did Al Quida (however it's spelled) knew what they were doing when 9/11 took place? I take it, the people who lost their families and loved ones should be mad at the masterminds who intended to destroy the World Trade Center?"
But if there is anything that I agree with, it's the stuff you say about anger in general. It took me a while to really learn this but when you're angry at
anyone God, an earthly human, or whomever, your anger is only eating
you away, not the person or being whom the anger is directed. I mean, I've grown as a person over the years and it took me a while to learn that (I knew it but I didn't know it, if that makes sense). My point being: I'm no longer holding any anger toward God, the Universe or whoever higher being decided that I should be male. Granted, I still have beyond every possible intention of changing "the body that God gave me" and that's not to say I'm not trans anymore, just that God's given me the grace to not carry that anger at being born male as it's only going to manifest more anger and animosity and do
me more self-destruction in the long run. Is there anything else that helped? Yes! People who stopped lecturing me that God had a good reason for not letting me be a girl, etc. and that I shouldn't be mad at God, blah-blah-blah. I feel so much better without people telling me that but I thank you, Henry, for opening this thread so that I could get this off my chest.