Stealth or open?

[aleon515]

You recommend being normal?  That's no fun

Normal is a dryer setting.

--Jay

[MadelineB]

The strangest dream I ever had, was what I call "the day the whole world came out". In my dream, everyone in the entire world was trans* and came out to me en masse. Some told me they were waiting to transition until after they had kids. Some just weren't ready or able to transition. Some were non-binary but trying to conform. Tons said they transitioned long ago but were afraid to tell anyone but their spouse or partner. They were more shocked than I was when it turned out the whole world was trans*!

[Tossu-sama]

I'm stealth to the people that don't know, and open to the people that do.

My goal basically.
Well, I want to consider the people I know as my friends to tell them.

If someone would wonder why I'm so short or otherwise not that typical man... Well, that's just how I am. A tiny not so harmless man.

[Taka]

i think it might be good to have a few close friends who know you're trans. people you can't trust and will give you their backing if something happens. other than that, i suggest you concentrate on being you rather than trans. you're just a guy who didn't develop right because of some hormone deficiency. telling people you're a guy named joey isn't really "stealth" the way i see it. i mean, what's stealth about telling the truth? i'm more stealth by hiding who i really am, pretending to be a cis woman. try thinking of certain parts of your body as an unflattering birth mark or some ugly scars, i'm sure there are lots of people who'd avoid undressing in front of other people because of something like that. what you're hiding isn't some kind of horrible secret, and only you should get to decide whom to tell.

[TaoRaven]

Honestly, I don't even worry about it. I still get some odd looks once in a while, but I am used to that. I've been a "freak" my whole life, weather I was sporting a huge mohawk or pink plaid pants and mis-matched shoes.

I have always been "myself". Used to get me in a lot of fights when I was younger, but I won my share, and I considered it a small price to pay. I know that I helped influence a lot of the people who knew me to do the same..to be themselves and celebrate who they were. It is a good feeling.

Thankfully my employer is one of the best in the country for anti-discrimination policies, and the people I work with all seem very friendly and accepting.

So, I don't tell every person I meet that I am trans, but I don't bother to hide my true self either. I am lucky. And I feel sorry for those who still face oppressive, discriminatory environments. I long for the day that all humans can simply accept people as people and not judge them based on primitive prejudice.

[Rachel]

Joey, do you have a support at college? Is there a student health person you can talk to? Is there a LGBTQ student group on campus? The reason I ask is that support very important. I really can not give advise, other than looking for a support base, on stealth or open because I too am in that area and have not answered that question for myself.

[Alice Rogers]

Look inside, base your decision on what makes you happiest, if presenting as male works for you in public do that, if presenting as female works do that!

I HAD to risk the eyes of strangers as I could not remain locked up in my masculine box.

Alex