Social Dysphoria?

[KabitTarah]

I've been getting terrible social dysphoria at work lately. It really affects me, and I'm trying my hardest to limit the effects of all my dysphoria and transanxiety. If I see two women talking, I feel as though I should be involved in that conversation (or at least a similar conversation). If I see men at the door, I feel weird opening it for them. It wouldn't be so bad, but it's just constant reminders all day of what I'm not (and will have a tough time being - since everyone will eventually know I'm out and not a cis woman - or cis man for that matter).

Do any of you get immense social dysphoria? How do you cope with it?

I think my worst issues right now are this social dysphoria and the tenseness and frustration I hope will be reduced with AAs (71 days away...). Body dysphoria is there, but not terrible to deal with since I know it's a slow process.

[ukftminneed]

Hey I get it too , to the point of gagging
its an aweful place to find yourself in those moments , I just try really hard to think , im moving forward,it will be ok , im moving forward
im on meds aswel for anxiety which has helped

[Heather]

I have social dysphoria way worse than the body dysphoria too. I find just being myself no matter how I'm dressed helps get me through the day. Sure everybody thinks I'm gay, but I did notice people stopped treating me like a male when I stopped acting the part.

[suzifrommd]

Do any of you get immense social dysphoria? How do you cope with it?

My social dysphoria was worse than my body dysphoria. Only transition cured it, though it helped when I spent time in all female spaces during the time when I went out some evenings as myself.

[KabitTarah]

Thanks! It does help. I'm certain I don't want medications... I can get over this without them, but maybe I just need to be more open and talkative with the women in the office. They're always very nice to me, but it's sometimes hard to just talk for me.

[Night Haven]

*Raises hand* Yep, over here too.

I tend to get the quite uncomfortable when put in places where there are mainly girls congregating. (No offense to the ladies here, y'all are awesome~ ^^) Additionally, my voice gets too high in certain settings (though that verges between social and body dysphoria) and I tend to act rather like your effeminate gay man, though others I'm sure don't see it that way - those are easily some of the harder things to check, and they're ranked up with those which make me feel the most dysphoric.

[KabitTarah]

*Raises hand* Yep, over here too.

I tend to get the quite uncomfortable when put in places where there are mainly girls congregating. (No offense to the ladies here, y'all are awesome~ ^^) Additionally, my voice gets too high in certain settings (though that verges between social and body dysphoria) and I tend to act rather like your effeminate gay man, though others I'm sure don't see it that way - those are easily some of the harder things to check, and they're ranked up with those which make me feel the most dysphoric.

Ahh... the voice thing! I've noticed mine has been going steadily upward. I like it, actually... but I can't help but wonder if anyone notices.

[izzy]

I dont really suffer at all from body dysphoria but my social dysphoria is very strong. your not alone the way you feel. I get upset when i see girls doing things that I cant do.

[KabitTarah]

I love Susan's ♥. There are always people who have similar experiences here.

One awesome conversation with the floor secretary helped a ton, today. She's great, and it's good to have those sorts of conversations free from gender hang-ups. I'm much happier today and it's easier to concentrate.

[Xhianil]

I get it, i probably deal with it in the worst way i can and just avoid people and always have my head phones in, even now I'm sitting in a class full of people and am sitting here typing this out. To be fair i live in a anti-LGBT area but i still avoid all the same.

[KabitTarah]

So... I had that good conversation this morning.

Later on I was working in the lab with a woman I'm work friends with. She is not good at picking up on things - at least all signs point to that. She's nice, though - and if there were anyone I'd be out to... it'd be her (and one other guy).

In any case... she and I were in the lab, and a different guy was there (redneck-y, somewhat). The topics ranged from masculinity/femininity. He was drinking a protein shake - she seemed to think drinking it would make her into a guy :p... didn't get much better from there. Then they started talking about divorce... finally they were talking about gays and people who get divorced because they come out gay... his sentiment was that lesbians were ok, but gay men were not (?!). She I think is fine with both, but her fiancee felt the same way about gay guys. I guess I've seen that sort of homophobia before... lesbians don't affect them either way.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, nodding along - trying to do what little work we were waiting on... and getting redder the whole time. I'm hoping my friend either didn't notice or was sympathetic. I'm thinking of telling her my wife and I are probably getting divorced... but I don't want her to talk around about it, either.

I've moved from social dysphoria straight into (transgender specific) social anxiety with that one :p At least I didn't cry, though maybe I should have spoken up more than I did (I had to comment about gay guys who try to turn straight ones... that doesn't actually happen much, does it?)

At least there's no chance of them reading this, here

[Night Haven]

I've got a few more instances to add.

-Not wanting to go into social situations, or even around one's family, because of issues with misgendering.
-Not wanting a relationship because of aforementioned issue of misgendering; I've got a feeling, a justified feeling,  that anyone I'm romantically involved with will end up thinking of me as a girl if I'm not overly clear that that most certainly isn't the case.
-Then, gender expression related anxiety feeding into other issues, which never helps. Seems they build on each other.
-Generally being self-conscious when one's trying to express their gender, rather than the one they were assigned, especially when taking those first few steps into transition.

Remembering some things based off of Kabit's comment above:
Gender and sexuality-related conversations always get to me if they seem mis- or uninformed. I want so badly to chip in with the many, many exceptions and such to what's being spoken of, but such is seldom appropriate.

[KabitTarah]

Remembering some things based off of Kabit's comment above:
Gender and sexuality-related conversations always get to me if they seem mis- or uninformed. I want so badly to chip in with the many, many exceptions and such to what's being spoken of, but such is seldom appropriate.

Awesome additions I take this last to mean the same problem I'm having... it's incredibly painful to remain closeted sometimes - and that sometimes is worst at work for me.