Outside of my house, that is.
ok... it was just my Therapist's office. It was still tough. I changed in the bathroom, into a pair of unmatching, summery flats (my only girl shoes), a skirt ($5 and actually looks good!), a black tee (mens, actually... but the "shaping" one I got online doesn't fit yet - still too much to shape). I also put some foundation on from a compact I'd just bought - I think it's just a tad dark, but absolutely nobody noticed I was wearing it. Next, I crossed the hall into his waiting room (it's an office building). There was a young woman standing there, but her back was turned (yes! A win!) Buuut... there was a woman in the waiting room with me. She definitely noticed... I mean I was carrying a bag of stuff, mens sneakers, and look pretty male from the waist up. She didn't say anything, though. At most, she texted someone about me
. I have to figure that anyone in the waiting area of my therapist's office is open enough.
I waited about 10 minutes, wrote in my diary (I'd forgotten the kindle
) and had my meeting. That went awesome... he didn't notice the foundation I'd used, other than to mention my track marks from Laser had cleared up (not quite yet... but mostly after almost 2 weeks).
I'm always very honest and completely open with my therapist (who else can you be that way with)... so when he asked me how it felt being out like this... my best answer was "awkward." It felt right, but very, very awkward
I have to assume that changes with time, confidence, and "look." I also don't know how to put together an outfit I'm happy with (though I did a good job with this one -- the only thing missing were color matching shoes - I bought gray flats that arrived
after I'd left for my appointment yesterday).
After the appointment, I changed, went home, and packed up a bunch of salad stuff to bring to my brother's house. That was awesome - they're open and accepting, but I still feel awkward talking to them about anything I'm going through. Maybe it's because he's my brother (not my sister... I'm much more open with her about this personal stuff). That's not to say I don't tell them things... but I feel more reserved and I probably shouldn't. They're the second people to not notice the foundation I used to conceal my hair. I didn't lay it on thick (on purpose!) - though that meant it wasn't a perfect concealer, either.
I did tell them that I was wearing it, in the end. My brother said the Laser marks weren't there... I told him I covered them up.
