Do You Ever Feel Like You Have To Prove Yourself More?

King Malachite · September 12, 2013, 05:42:50 PM

I was watching a Youtube video of a young Christian transman and he talked about his faith and being trans. He talked about having to "prove himself" a lot more to people. I'm not out yet so I don't really have much "proving" to do, but I'm interested in hearing other's experience with feeling you have to "prove yourself" to cisgendered individuals who might think being transgender and Christian is an oxymoron. I would really love to hear your stories on the subject as I know when I do come out that I would be put under the microscope as well.

Adam (birkin) · September 12, 2013, 08:06:16 PM

By the time I was out as trans, I was atheist...but when I came out as a "lesbian", I did still feel like a Christian. And yeah, I did feel I had to prove myself more. I felt like I had to be the "perfect Christian" and just show perfect knowledge of everything religion-related in order for people to take me seriously. It sucked.

Brandon · September 15, 2013, 01:04:55 PM

Yes plenty of times

Catalina · September 17, 2013, 12:24:02 AM

When I came out as gay many many years ago, I also felt like I had to prove myself better than both Christians and other queer people combined. It can be difficult because being a queer Christian is being a minority, with both sides sometimes never meeting the other.

Being transsexual now, I can sort of hide myself and no longer am in the spotlight of things anyways. I realised that I am probably more religious than most people rather naturally, and I still make an effort to go to Confession at an Anglican parish every few months, and attend Eucharist practically every Sunday. My relationship with Christ is really between me, the saints, and God... and of course, my confessor. 😛 The only ones who know about my transition are two parishioners, and two of our priests. If anyone else suspects it, I still wouldn't reveal my own history.

It all depends on where you are on your transitional journey, your spiritual journey, and your spiritual community if you have one. But never stop having faith in yourself, and that is so important! 🙂

Constance · September 17, 2013, 12:08:54 PM

I guess I'm in the minority here. I never felt like I had to prove myself as a trans Christian or as a queer Christian. As I begin to explore polyamory I've started to think that might require extra effort.

I've had to prove myself more as a Christo-Pagan and Christian witch than as a trans or queer Christian so far. But my church is very liberal too.

Vicky · September 21, 2013, 12:30:50 PM

I had attended my current Episcopal Church parish for 20 years before coming out as transsexual two and a half years ago. My first RLE day at church was an even two years ago. I and the people who know about me (all them that have been there longer than two years) have seen me open up and show my spirituality and true sense of community that I had been afraid to show years before. The dishonesty that I had felt had kept me from participating as fully as I had inwardly wanted to be and felt called to be. I do not feel I have to PROVE my Christianity, but I find it easier to LIVE my faith, including all aspects of my spiritual life which are NOT orthodox Christian beliefs by a long shot. (Two spirit and Celtic paganism).

My priest and I have discussed my coming out both before and since I did, and our occasional talks seem to gravitate to a theme that Trans* people who come out will experience a ressurection type of spiritual awakening, since we are dying to a worldly (created) life to one that is lead by our inner spirit which has been touched by God. I know that I was close to physical death before accepting my transsexuality, and that my own hand was stayed from ending my physical life, even though at that moment my spirit was dead. I have shared this not only with my priest but any other person whom I feel will respond to it without disbelief or with hatred. I have had to put aside all the bitterness and self doubt that I had for years, and totally turn it over to God, who has given me a resurrected soul and body.

I do not have to prove my faith, but I have to live it. As the paraphrase of the Epistle of James goes "My faith is not my works, and my works are not my faith, but by my works you will know my faith."

The Peace the Lord be always with you.

Constance · September 21, 2013, 01:53:29 PM

Quote from: Vicky on September 21, 2013, 12:30:50 PM
...Trans* people who come out will experience a ressurection type of spiritual awakening...

On a related note, the first time I wore a name tag at my church that said "Connie" was on Easter, 2011.

Vicky · September 21, 2013, 07:52:35 PM

Quote from: Constance on September 21, 2013, 01:53:29 PM
On a related note, the first time I wore a name tag at my church that said "Connie" was on Easter, 2011.

Highly symbolic. Awwwww!!! Big grin!

King Malachite · September 21, 2013, 09:53:23 PM

Quote from: caleb. on September 12, 2013, 08:06:16 PM
By the time I was out as trans, I was atheist...but when I came out as a "lesbian", I did still feel like a Christian. And yeah, I did feel I had to prove myself more. I felt like I had to be the "perfect Christian" and just show perfect knowledge of everything religion-related in order for people to take me seriously. It sucked.

That's how I feel when I will have to come out. I feel like I'm going to have to know the Bible better than they do, which is why I have been studying up on it. It's almost feels like being associated with the LBGT community is "the worst sin" so I'd have to be put on trial.

Quote from: Brandon on September 15, 2013, 01:04:55 PM
Yes plenty of times

thanks

Quote from: Catalina on September 17, 2013, 12:24:02 AM
When I came out as gay many many years ago, I also felt like I had to prove myself better than both Christians and other queer people combined. It can be difficult because being a queer Christian is being a minority, with both sides sometimes never meeting the other.

Being transsexual now, I can sort of hide myself and no longer am in the spotlight of things anyways. I realised that I am probably more religious than most people rather naturally, and I still make an effort to go to Confession at an Anglican parish every few months, and attend Eucharist practically every Sunday. My relationship with Christ is really between me, the saints, and God... and of course, my confessor. 😛 The only ones who know about my transition are two parishioners, and two of our priests. If anyone else suspects it, I still wouldn't reveal my own history.

It all depends on where you are on your transitional journey, your spiritual journey, and your spiritual community if you have one. But never stop having faith in yourself, and that is so important!

The spiritual community I'm with a.k.a. my church would probably think I'm possessed with evil spirits, but like you mentioned, my relationship with Christ is none of their buisness. It would be hard to transition and still go to the same church but I am curious to see how that would turn out.

Quote from: Constance on September 17, 2013, 12:08:54 PM
I guess I'm in the minority here. I never felt like I had to prove myself as a trans Christian or as a queer Christian. As I begin to explore polyamory I've started to think that might require extra effort.

I've had to prove myself more as a Christo-Pagan and Christian witch than as a trans or queer Christian so far. But my church is very liberal too.

Oh gosh I can somewhat understand that struggle. I remember a few months ago I was pondering leaving the Christian faith and when I did, I suddenly had this cold feeling of isolation, loneliness, and strong sense of family disapproval. In the end, I decided to hold on to my faith and not look back, but now I always say "I would MUCH rather come out as trans than non-Christian to my family." when I want to kind of ease my mind about the situation (no offense to others). At least with being trans and Christian I have a leg to stand on equal level with those close to me about my faith.

Quote from: Vicky on September 21, 2013, 12:30:50 PM
I had attended my current Episcopal Church parish for 20 years before coming out as transsexual two and a half years ago. My first RLE day at church was an even two years ago. I and the people who know about me (all them that have been there longer than two years) have seen me open up and show my spirituality and true sense of community that I had been afraid to show years before. The dishonesty that I had felt had kept me from participating as fully as I had inwardly wanted to be and felt called to be. The Peace the Lord be always with you.

This is how I feel. I feel like I'd be lying if I can't be my true self. Before discovering I was trans, I didn't have much spirituality, but after discovering I'm a man, I'm more spirtual.