Help me with my name?

[la_paciente]

Hi, I am a pre-everything MTF girl and I can't seem to find a good new name for me, at least one that me and my wife agree on it. I know about checking the lists of most common baby names in my province and the year I was born, and at this moment I'm not ready to ask my parents what would they have called me if I had been born with the right gender.

To make it harder, I live in Canada but I am from other country. Some names in my language might be weird for the average English speaker and I would like to avoid any confusion and misgendering. On the other hand "anglo" names, might seem too 'fake' for my country of origin, or too related to some celebrity or TV/movie character.

So, this is how I look like, what name do you think that would fit me? I'm just looking for suggestions as I don't have many people to ask for, maybe one of you come up with the right one!

[Nero]

Meredith?
What's your country of origin hon? That may help us with suggestions.

[Jessica Merriman]

I would recommend NOT making it a feminine offshoot of your male name. After all, you are becoming a new person, not a reflection of the old. Good luck baby! PS-Carmen is not bad. Have a great day! 

[la_paciente]

Meredith?
What's your country of origin hon? That may help us with suggestions.

I prefer leaving that question unanswered for the moment, I wouldn't mind being mistaken as someone from a different place.

I would recommend NOT making it a feminine offshoot of your male name. After all, you are becoming a new person, not a reflection of the old. Good luck baby! PS-Carmen is not bad. Have a great day! 

Years ago I dated someone whose name was the feminized version of my male name, and that wasn't the only similarity between us, it'd feel so weird if I 'took' her name.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions!

[Devlyn]

I looked at your picture and thought Andrea. Hugs, Devlyn

[Robin Mack]

Since you seem to wish to remain culturally appropriate, I would recommend choosing two names... a name from your culture of origin that appeals to you, and a "acculturated" name, like many immigrants do.  For example, a programmer friend of mine is named "Weigong" and he choses to go by "David" in the US.

Another option would be to pick a name from your culture of origin that could be shortened to an American-sounding derivative.  It might help the amateur anthropologists amongst us if you could give us a culture or country of origin to work with... for example, there is a lot of cultural names from Islam that share roots with Jewish names (due to the shared roots of the faiths), which then migrated into western cultures. 

I'm partial to Sarah myself... Abraham's wife's name, shared by three vast cultures (Islamic, Judaic, and Christian) and quite beautiful.

*hug* 

[la_paciente]

Thank you so much, girls!

I had already thought of using two names from both cultures, with one as middle name. I appreciate your suggestions a lot!

It's not that I want my name to be 100% culturally appropiate, there are names from all over the world that I like a lot, I just don't want it to be "too" inappropiate or weird for both cultures.

[Sephirah]

Honestly, I would advise you to set aside a period of time and focus on yourself. Most notably your dreams, be they night or day ones. I tend to think that a name has the most meaning when it's one which we come to on our own, not chosen for us.

It may be that you see a name over and over in your mind. Your subconscious attempts to impress one on you. Something you identify with, without immediately knowing why. But one which resonates with you. Perhaps you see someone in your dreams who embodies everything you wish for yourself, and take that name.

However it happens, it may be something to consider.

[Dreams2014]

How about Isabel/Isabela/Isabella?

Other ideas I have are Rosalyn, Reya, Rita, Bella, Vanesa, Valencia?

Or how about something French like Clair/Claire or Cosette?

[la_paciente]

How about Isabel/Isabela/Isabella?

Other ideas I have are Rosalyn, Reya, Rita, Bella, Vanesa, Valencia?

Or how about something French like Clair/Claire or Cosette?

You've said 1 name that my partner suggested but I didn't like, and another one that I really like but that would be too 'awkward' for her, and we had discussed French names too! Haha, are you her?

[Dreams2014]

You've said 1 name that my partner suggested but I didn't like, and another one that I really like but that would be too 'awkward' for her, and we had discussed French names too! Haha, are you her?

Haha I'm afraid not. I'm in the old world, not the new world. I just took a guess you're from Latin America, so suggested Spanish names, and then French names given you're in Canada.

[Obfuskatie]

If your parents are in the know and easy to contact you could ask them for their shortlist of names they would have picked from if you had been born cis-female.  Otherwise, names that rhyme with your original name might be easier to get used to.  Or you could try sticking to your same initials.  What really matters is that you will hear someone call you by your name and immediately respond to it, even if your attention was absorbed by something else.

Personally, I like names that can be shortened, or names that are already short:
   e.g., Anastasia, Alexia, Janelle, Jamie, Paige, Amelie/Emily, Celeste, Genevieve, Tegan, Kayla, Olivia, and Brooke.

I'm drawing a blank on other names that haven't already been mentioned.  As I was scrolling through a few lists of proposed names for girls just now, I came across Tucker and it made me giggle 

[Jill F]

I picked a name that had the same first initial as the original one, as there are advantages to that.

I did not originally have a name with a female equivalent, but I did not want to choose a name that had a male equivalent (Erica, Stephanie, Michaela, etc.), as I thought people would just falsely assume what my original name must have been.

I did not want a name that sounded pretentious, made up, draggish queenish or could be easily mispronounced or misspelled.  One that was perfectly "me".   My mother would have called me Juliana had I been assigned female at birth, but my sister got that one.  Jillian (or Gillian in my case) is the anglicized version of that name.

Every Jill I ever met was super cool, smart, funny or fun to be around.  Loved it.  Perfect.  Mine!

[Aeshe]

As some others have said, I would suggest you look inwards for a name.  Are there places you hold dear?  Is there a favorite scent or spice, tree, etc?  Any mythological references or cultural references you identify with?  Family names you adore?  There are just some general ideas.  Free write, scan your dreams, page through books, and wait for that special name to hit home.

I have the same first name, except I switched an "o" to a "y."  I don't regret not taking a completely new first name at all, it was pan-gendered from the get-go though.  I chose my middle name to reflect my respect for the natural world and also a name I had always loved.  My husband is actually trans himself (FtM), and we transitioned around the same time and chose a new last name together with a connotation of blossoming and protection.

Names I personally love:  Penelope, Desiree, Taryn, Bridget, Natalie...

[MadeleineG]

Seeing Carmen prompted me to think of Carmelita

[ChelseaAnn]

I'm gonna shoot some advice in here that someone told me once (on here actually). I don't know if you're staying with your wife or not, but she doesn't have to agree with it. When I first figured out I was transgender, I first went with Emily (a character from a story I was writing). After trying it out a bit (before I was out to anyone), I found I didn't care for it. Now I'm going with Chelsea.

My mom and wife didn't like it. They said it sounded weird. My wife wanted me to use something that still started with an S (we have a little thing with our initials, SKY). So I started looking around for other names that they liked. I gave about 4 suggestions to them, which one of them they finally liked. But I felt like I had to work through it. Like it didn't feel right. After some advice off Susan's, I said screw it, and told them I was sticking with Chelsea. They don't like it, but I do. So, if you have a name you like, it shouldn't matter if your wife likes it.

I mean, if any straight woman met Fabio or George Clooney or someone similar, and their name was Oozali->-bleeped-<-uf, you think they'd really care?

Also, I agree with Jessica. Don't use a feminine version of your male name. I mean, that'd be my idea of weird. It's like you're just the same person with boobs. Granted, personality shouldn't change much, but I feel I need a new identity. I'm sure you feel that way too.

[Skittles]

Whatever name you choose, put it up to the corporate test. Some really peculiar names would not look good on the office door. Comical, bizarre names may work when young, but what if one becomes the Female CEO of a large corporation, becomes a doctor or other professional. Easily remembered and pronounced names are attached to easily remembered people. Just a thought? Hug. Joann