How do lesbians flirt?

[suzifrommd]

I've started going to some lesbian meetups. I don't imagine I'll meet someone, but it's nice to be around other women and I don't have to hide the fact that my soon-to-be-ex-spouse is a woman.

It would be helpful to understand how lesbians flirt with each other.

I know how women flirt with men (though not vice versa despite living for 50 years as a man). I'm a tad socially clueless, so any knowledge would be very helpful.

[Lauren5]

Just be yourself, all will be well

[kariann330]

From what i have seen its usually the same as how they flirt with a guy if she were straight, the nervous smile, giggles, a hug hello or goodbye that lingers longer etc. really the only time i noticed it changing is if she is butch, then think you trying to get a girls attention when single....just done by a girl lol.

[Alainaluvsu]

The same way they flirt with men. Just be yourself. If you're a lesbian then just being you is how lesbians flirt.

[Beth Andrea]

Depends on the woman...the eyes, the face and mouth, "slinky" walk, touching...If there's a dozen lesbians in the room, you'll see 24 different ways of flirt happening.

eta: Oh, a new saying!

"Flirt happens."

[Just Shelly]

They don't flirt.....lesbians have special powers they already know if one another is attracted to each other....you must not be a lesbian otherwise you would of known this

[Adabelle]

I agree. So far I've found the process to be pretty familiar actually. When you like someone and they like you there's smiling and flirting etc. When love happens it's pretty much the same no matter the sexes of the people involved. Differences are more around the mix of personalities in the relationship I think.

[kathyk]

Paulie's line from the movie Juno kind of says how it all worked for me when I was trying to be NORMAL in college.  If someone's interested, they're intrested, and that's it. 

Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

[Olivia-Anne]

I wouldn't worry about "trying" to flirt or anything. I have found that flirting just comes naturally, if you like someone and they like you. Flirting isn't something that you need to be concerned with. Just be yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Let the rest just happen naturally. It is when you try to force something that isn't there, or when you try to be something your not that the awkward moments begin to happen. I would also have to say that the saying, "it happens when you least expect it" is somewhat true. For me I was still working on figuring out my sexuality as well as when I would even start dating. I hadn't dated anyone for well over a decade. I hadn't planned on dating until I was full time for a while. Then I just happened to invite the right person over for a dinner with friends and now I have my other half in my life. It was and is the most wonderful surprise of my life. I have been with her for about 3 months now and I can't remember how my life used to be without her. Just one word of advice. Be prepared, us lesbians we move extremely fast in relationships. 

<3 Liv

[suzifrommd]

Just be yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Let the rest just happen naturally. It is when you try to force something that isn't there, or when you try to be something your not that the awkward moments begin to happen.

Just be yourself, all will be well

Just be yourself. If you're a lesbian then just being you is how lesbians flirt.

Hmm. Seems to be a theme here.

Being myself doesn't work. I'm very shy, very intense, and a tad self-centered. I'm also funny, intelligent, and caring, but these latter traits tend not to be outwardly visible.

If I don't make an effort to get out of my shell and put my best foot forward, I'll sit there unnoticed. When someone is asked who was there, no one will even remember me because I will make no impression on anyone.

To have a prayer socially, I've found I need to pretend to be someone more outgoing than I am.

The "be yourself" advice works with people who are socially savvy, who instinctively know the right things to say, who are easily in touch with how the people around them are feeling, who naturally connect with people wherever they go.

That's just not me.

I have lots of great qualities, and I think people who give me a chance find I'm a good friend. But naturally conducting myself in a way that connects with other people just doesn't happen for me.

I'm kind of in a funk because I just came from a social occasion where a lot of people didn't know each other. I watched how effortlessly and naturally some of them just made eye contact with each other and engaged in easy discussion. Time after time, I ended up being the odd person out. I picked up on how other folks seemed to tune me out, somehow convinced that whatever I might have to contribute was not worth their notice.

They don't flirt.....lesbians have special powers they already know if one another is attracted to each other....you must not be a lesbian otherwise you would of known this

Well, that's exactly what it feels like. People kind of instinctively know how to interact with others, whereas it's often a mystery to me.

When you like someone and they like you there's smiling and flirting etc.

Depends on the woman...the eyes, the face and mouth, "slinky" walk, touching...If there's a dozen lesbians in the room, you'll see 24 different ways of flirt happening.

From what i have seen its usually the same as how they flirt with a guy if she were straight, the nervous smile, giggles, a hug hello or goodbye that lingers longer etc.

This helps. Gives me an idea of the range of behaviors that I can expect. Like I said above, I'm not socially adept so having some idea of the culturally accepted interactions helps.

[Beth Andrea]

I'm not socially adept, either. I tend to shut down immediately prior to entering any social activity...put up a wall, tune out others...alpralozam helps immensely, but I still have a total lack of socializing skills.

I'd be content to just sit in a corner and watch the plastic flowers blooming. Maybe someone's tried to flirt with me...but I can't pick up those signals, so I have learned the mechanical aspects of flirting...but that's as far as I've gotten.

I'm told "just be yourself", but my"self" is a serious closet case. I'm told "to have a friend, you have to be a friend"...Once someone gets to know me, they all have said I'm a wonderful friend...but socially I'm inept. I've read somewhere that people who are high-functioning autistic are like this...so maybe look into how they teach autism sufferers to be more sociable? Even if you're not autistic (I'm not diagnosed with it, btw, I just have trauma issues) perhaps some of those techniques might help...

Anyway, just a thought.

*hugs*

[kariann330]

Hmm. Seems to be a theme here.

Being myself doesn't work. I'm very shy, very intense, and a tad self-centered. I'm also funny, intelligent, and caring, but these latter traits tend not to be outwardly visible.

If I don't make an effort to get out of my shell and put my best foot forward, I'll sit there unnoticed. When someone is asked who was there, no one will even remember me because I will make no impression on anyone.

To have a prayer socially, I've found I need to pretend to be someone more outgoing than I am.

The "be yourself" advice works with people who are socially savvy, who instinctively know the right things to say, who are easily in touch with how the people around them are feeling, who naturally connect with people wherever they go.

That's just not me.

I have lots of great qualities, and I think people who give me a chance find I'm a good friend. But naturally conducting myself in a way that connects with other people just doesn't happen for me.

I'm kind of in a funk because I just came from a social occasion where a lot of people didn't know each other. I watched how effortlessly and naturally some of them just made eye contact with each other and engaged in easy discussion. Time after time, I ended up being the odd person out. I picked up on how other folks seemed to tune me out, somehow convinced that whatever I might have to contribute was not worth their notice.

Well, that's exactly what it feels like. People kind of instinctively know how to interact with others, whereas it's often a mystery to me.

This helps. Gives me an idea of the range of behaviors that I can expect. Like I said above, I'm not socially adept so having some idea of the culturally accepted interactions helps.

Hun your better off then i am. When im randomly tossed in social situations i get mean...like Dr. Cox mean (if anyone remembers Scrubs) and in really large crowds i have panic attacks and become slightly violent if im trapped in them. Basically im a hermit who prefers to make friends on PSN or the internet instead of in person.

[Alainaluvsu]

At least you're not a straight MtF ... women aren't going to beat the snot out of you for letting them hit on you. Whenever a guy hits on me, I don't know whether to enjoy it and flirt back, or to blow him off to be safe.

[Elainagirl59]

Just one word of advice. Be prepared, us lesbians we move extremely fast in relationships.  >n:-)
<3 Liv

What does a lesbian bring to a second date?


A U-haul......

[kelly_aus]

What does a lesbian bring to a second date?


A U-haul......

I didn't wait until the second date in my last relationship.. I popped around one night to visit and essentially never went home..