Misgendering and how do you handle that?

[HelloKitty]

I was misgendered once back in March (had only been full time 1 month).
I was with some cis gendered friends who accept me as a woman. Everything they know about trans ppl comes from me.

Well anyways, this person seemed to be rather deliberately misgendering me. So I was like, omg it's ok, I know you're trans too, but I'm a woman. She was shocked and in total denial and quite upset. All of my friends believed me and said would you like us to refer to you as a male? You were born the same way as Hailey so don't be a hypocrite!

When all was said and done, I was the last to leave and said...now you know how it feels.

She was in fact NOT trans

[Tessa James]

Nice way to turn the tables Hailey!  I can imagine that would make a very strong impression on your friend.   No doubt you let your assembled friends know that you were helping them feel what you experience and sort of corrected the record about her?

Congratulations on your good fortune and personal efforts to be accepted so readily.  I am delighted to share your effort to be "out" and proud. 

Thank you too for helping to educate others.  Ignorance and fear are our biggest threats IMHO.

[HelloKitty]

It was just a Starbucks, was a girl behind the counter.
But no, lol I never told them she wasn't actually trans, lol.

My bad

My friends think I have a trans radar built in because I'm a trans woman.
But no, I have no such radar at all.

I have never been back to that place since and have only had it happen once, thank goodness.
I did tell my friends however that most trans people are nice like me and really are no different than other people. The difference is we have a brain-body mismatch and let them know they very likely would have no clue if they met one in public or not.

They still have a very good, positive outlook on transgender people

[Tessa James]

It was just a Starbucks, was a girl behind the counter.
But no, lol I never told them she wasn't actually trans, lol.

My bad

My friends think I have a trans radar built in because I'm a trans woman.
But no, I have no such radar at all.

I have never been back to that place since and have only had it happen once, thank goodness.
I did tell my friends however that most trans people are nice like me and really are no different than other people. The difference is we have a brain-body mismatch and let them know they very likely would have no clue if they met one in public or not.

They still have a very good, positive outlook on transgender people

Oh you little devil Kitty!  Thanks for explaining that situation.

I used to think I had gaydar but my remote sensors have really failed me.   The looks I get from guys now is much harder to be sure of.  Part of that is nice but I have learned not to trust "the look," a wink or the signals I used to better understand.  Transition for me includes adjusting to a different set of interactions and responses from people.  Remaining confident about who I am and unruffled seems to help.

You are so right about being clueless; with estimates of 40-80,000 postop transsexual people in the USA we really have no certainty about another's private history.  No telling who has "been there and done that" and maybe it doesn't matter either? 

Thanks for being a great ambassador for us.  It's nice to think of you out there with such a positive influence.