Reconciling Christian faith & gender identity

[paxi1334]

I'm curious... how do others reconcile their Christian faith with their gender identity?  Can one inform the other and/or change how its expressed?  In other words, if one comes from a very conservative Christian background and also happens to be transgender is it possible to embrace both or is it inevitable that "very conservative Christian" must change and become a more tolerant or progressive Christianity?  Likewise, if one holds onto a conservative / evangelical framework while also being trans does that mean a person must also choose to remain celibate? 

I'm still in process of answering these (and similar) questions for myself - and am interested in how others have answered these questions.
~Paxi

[ZoeM]

Hi! I'm a conservative Christian transwoman doing her best to hold onto all three parts of that moniker.
It can be hard - especially when dealing with, say, Romans 1 - but I decided I had to read and pray about it and come to my own conclusion that way.

The conclusion I've come to, then, is this:
First, I am not male. My mind and brain are female and have been physically since birth. I have no idea about the rest of me.
Second, God cares about who I am inside, not who I am outside.
Third, based on 1 and 2, it is only right that I live as a daughter of God in every way I can. Politics I can do with as I wish, although I still hold all the tenets of His word to be true. Which means that while I am not going to be angry at or offended by a gay person, I still believe it to be a sin.

That's a workable core belief and, while I know I often stray from it, I'm trying to follow Him - as who I know I am.

[Robin Mack]

I'm curious... how do others reconcile their Christian faith with their gender identity?  Can one inform the other and/or change how its expressed?  In other words, if one comes from a very conservative Christian background and also happens to be transgender is it possible to embrace both or is it inevitable that "very conservative Christian" must change and become a more tolerant or progressive Christianity?  Likewise, if one holds onto a conservative / evangelical framework while also being trans does that mean a person must also choose to remain celibate? 

I'm still in process of answering these (and similar) questions for myself - and am interested in how others have answered these questions.
~Paxi

I guess the answer to this would be a very personal one.  I was raised in a very conservative evangelical Christian tradition.  I no longer share that faith, but I understand it very, very well. 

So, to begin with, I guess you would have to ask yourself how you view transexualism/gender identity.  Do you feel like you were born into the wrong body, that your parts and socially assigned gender role do not match your soul?
If so, I suggest that a very convincing argument could be made that, since God has given people the understanding and ability through medical science to correct this situation, you are perfectly within your rights to do so. 

Some religious practices, however, require that medical science not be used.  For these, medical intervention would not be an option according to their faith.

According to a scripture in the New Testament, women must not wear men's clothes, nor should men wear women's.  So, if you truly believe you are the opposite gender of you biology, I would assume a literal interpretation would mean that you you would have to present yourself in the gender clothing appropriate to your soul/mind.

Hope that helps... sexual orientation becomes a whole new ball of wax under the constrains of conservative evangelical Christianity...  :\

*hug*

*edited because of simultaneous post with Zoe M.  She says it another way, but it seems to me we're working on the same premise here. 

[Yukari-sensei]

Strangely enough my Christianity (Roman Catholic) has cut both ways in regards to me resolving my gender identity. On the one hand, I had my Christianity glorifying sacrificing of oneself for the benefit of others and to glorify God. I felt I was doing the right thing and helping my family by keeping it to myself, after all my body is merely a vessel for my immortal soul and will eventually die - my soul will stand and be judged.

The problem was that when I pictured my soul, when I pictured myself standing before the throne, I saw a woman. I knew my soul was female, I just wondered why God wanted it put in a male body. I assumed there was some major reason and I think I know why now - and I fulfilled the duties that required I be a man (protector of the family from a then abusive father). No I have to become me and still be an instrument of God's love and mercy. In doing so I will try to teach by my existence that transgendered people too are children of God and this does not preclude us from seeking his Kingdom.

That's how I reconciled my faith with my identity. As to the rest of your question, I have to ask if you are working from a predestination standpoint? For my faith it was kinda right out... I would venture the church and my own denomination in particular must make progress on the issue toward greater tolerance. Celebacy should not be required by transgendered people (of course I would remove that requirement from our priests too); however, monogamy is an acceptable limitation. This is not me speaking ill of non-monogamous people, however as marriage is a sacrament given by two people to each other, this is an intrinsic limitation. While we are at it, as this is a sacrament between two people, I feel no reason to limit it it by gender... of course I reject the idea of the bible taken literally so I have no old-testament qualms. Thanks to John Paul II's papal bull in 1993 and Pope Francis' position on homosexuals not being excluded from the church , my position is semi-acceptable (if on the Catholic liberal fringe).

But all this is my reasoning, I'm sure there are other interesting positions in parallel or against it. Hope it's a little insightful for a member of the laity. I make no claim to being a theologian.

[King Malachite]

You know, at first I thought conservative Christianity and ->-bleeped-<- was an oxymoron until I met a couple of people here, Zoe being one of them   Now I think they can be very compatible, even though I personally hold a more liberal view of Christianity (not to be confused with progressive Christianity).  I don't think that you would need to remain celibate, though if you are feeling a conviction to do so, then God would be your final authority on that.

[paxi1334]

I guess, here is how it is all coming together for me:

When I was young, I had innocence in childhood & part of that innocence included both an unquestioning faith in God & self-awareness of myself as a girl.  It has taken me many years to realize this, but it was during those days that things were "right", specifically that I felt peace & was happy & sociable. 

In short, these "competing identities" between gender identity and faith did not actually begin "competing" with each other... until virtually everyone around me told me that they had to be in competition.  I am blessed to have a family that has, for the most part, accepted me as I am & during my childhood I was given freedom of self-exploration / expression with gender identity (which was only ever limited by their concern for my safety).  When "bad things" did happen to me, it was always male peers and older boys who felt the need to punish me for not being a real man.  A lot of this happened in the context of church, Christian school & church events so in a sense it conditioned me to embody a disconnect between my faith and my gender.  This led to a period of time in which I dissociated from my gender & embraced faith, doing all the right things, believing all the right things, in order to find inclusion in my faith communities.  I found inclusion but it didn't matter b/c I ended up so depressed and suicidal that I basically just shut down physically & mentally and stopped living.  So then I tried embracing my gender & dissociating from my faith - in which I found peace with my gender but was almost perpetually in a state of a panic attack due to the moral anxiety I had over faith and eternal destiny.  So, it would seem that it isn't really possible to give up or significantly change any aspect so integral to one's self identity.

So then I finally "got it" that I needed to embrace both... that I needed to just find a way to scrap everything else and go back to the cornerstone I had as a child and to build on that.  I've decided that that child who knew who she was and knew who her God was and loved listening to Amy Grant -- I've decided that that child had it right.    But as I help that child survive the things that went wrong & become an adult, I have to find that mature & intellectual reconciliation of Christian faith and gender identity.  Religious experience is by nature entirely subjective & so what people experience, they experience.  People have been eviscerated by churches & religion and have to go somewhere else in order to protect themselves.  And I get that & I support that.  But I have to forge a path that intertwines both my gender and my Christian faith. 

I want to say thanks for those who reply & that I appreciate it.  All of these things for everyone are both personal and subjective - and unfortunately people are ridiculed both for who they are and also what they believe.  In a lot of ways, I've really had to shut the outside world and just try to make sense out of all this between me and God.  Even still, I've wondered if I am alone in my struggles & it helps a lot to know there are others who are both Christian and also transgender.

I think retaining a "conservative" sense of Christianity (i.e. belief in Scripture, Jesus, the resurrection, etc.) can be more challenging b/c it is easier to find acceptance in more liberal religious settings and easier to find condemnation in more conservative ones.  Yet I question if this need be the case & only recently have I seen signs that there are pockets of Evangelical Christianity which may become trans-affirmative.  There are parts of the Bible I struggle with, but I will leave that for another post since it would become too lengthy here. 

As for specific Christian-association, I am in a desert of sorts, looking for a place to call home but also not wanting to wander too far and become lost.  I come from a background of Evangelical/Pentecostal/Charismatic blends & after some of the things that have happened to me in such contexts, I am ready for a new context.  So, I am positioned at the point where there does need to be change.  The problem is not that there are no places that are LGBT affirming - clearly there is the MCC, UUA, UCC, etc.  However, there are other things (specifically beliefs) which make me uncomfortable in some of those settings.  So for now, I am at an Evangelical Lutheran church.

As for politics, I have the sense that only a conservative Democratic position with a passion for social justice is truly compatible with Christianity in the first place.  So, from a political viewpoint, I don't have this inward struggle.

However, in regards to spirituality, I feel so isolated - which isn't good since religion is meant to be a communal exercise.  So, I guess, the unifying theme of this post is one of trying to overcome isolation and find others who may be experiencing something similar to me...  (Thanks for letting me ramble)
~Paxi

[Sarah Louise]

I am a conservative Christian also.  I am transitioned and still a conservative Christian.  I have prayed about it and feel Christ accepts me, the Lord's forgiveness is forever and for any transgression.

[Carrie Liz]

Basically the way that I deal with it is just by giving up on my quest for perfection.

We are ALL sinners. And according to James 2:10, stumbling at even one point of the Law makes you guilty of violating all of it. To me, this basically means that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to be a righteous person in God's eyes. To Him, all of my righteousness is like filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6) And all have sinned and thus fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

To me, this means that the goal of life is not to live completely sinless, because that is impossible, but rather to become aware of our sinful, filthy, miserable state, and realize that there's nothing that we can do by our own hands to make ourselves righteous. Except to humbly come to His feet, acknowledging our imperfection, and pray for forgiveness.

Jesus said, with the same measure that you judge others, so too shall you be judged. And judge not, lest you be judged. (Matthew 7:1-2). By admitting that I have a desire that is technically Biblically sinful, which I cannot get over no matter how much I pray for it to go away, (believe me, I've tried.) I am coming before Him asking for mercy. And I believe that I will be granted it if, just as I am hoping to not be judged, I don't judge others, and unconditionally forgive them of everything just as I am hoping to be unconditionally forgiven.

That is my life philosophy. Acknowledge my sinful state, pray for forgiveness, and give to others the same degree of forgiveness and nonjudgment that I am hoping to receive from God myself on the day of judgment.

And this is also why I support homosexual rights. Their sin is no greater than that of the lusting straight person, or the liar, or the thief, or the divorcee, or anyone. And yet we do not tell those people that they are damned to hell because of what they have done. We tell them that if they love God, they will be forgiven. Why should the LGBT person receive any less mercy? Their sin is no better or worse than anyone else's.

My ->-bleeped-<- is like Paul's "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). It is something that I will never be rid of no matter how much I pray for it to go away. But God is telling me, "my grace is sufficient for you." In other words, it's okay. If anything, it is a thing to constantly remind me that I will never be perfect, to humble me, to keep me from exalting myself. So that rather than boasting about how strong I am, how sinless, I can boast about how weak I am, and yet how God has taken this hopelessly sinful girl and perfected her where in reality there is nothing but imperfection.

[Shantel]

I am a conservative Christian also.  I am transitioned and still a conservative Christian.  I have prayed about it and feel Christ accepts me, the Lord's forgiveness is forever and for any transgression.

Amen! Humans tend by nature to try and justify everything whereas the only real justification for anything is the gift from God in the person of Christ who justifies us by His sacrifice in our stead on the cross. Thus when we trust in Him as sufficient cover for our own deeds then we are positionally saved for a brighter future. I dealt with this line of thought many years ago when I was contemplating the pros and cons of being sterilized or raising a large family of ragamuffins that I would resent and could ill afford, it became a choice of the lesser of two evils both being contrary to the will of God in my understanding at the time. If it was not for the human condition and the fact that we are flawed from birth, there would have been no need for Christ for any of us.

[paxi1334]

I just wanted to reiterate that I really appreciate the honest replies here... I agree that we are, in a sense, both sinner & saint.  Its important to keep the two balanced - & its also encouraging (to me) to find that there may be others who may see things similar to how I do.  Isolation isn't fun...
I guess maybe a big part of it is to remember that on some of these questions of what we're supposed to do / how to handle things... we really just see in a mirror dimly. 

Nevertheless, the thing I'm still stuck on, in terms of my desires, is sex.  I did struggle with my identity for years, but finally realized that God accepts me as I am - that God did not make a mistake - but that things in this life are always not perfect - and that if God accepts me, I should accept me.  So, in terms of me just being me & living my post-op life, I don't see why that in and of itself would be problematic... but the thing I'm stuck on, really comes down to having an active sex life - - Gender identity and sexual orientation are indeed very different, and I dealt with gender identity first, and now I have to deal with sexual orientation... and I keep getting stuck on the thought that it doesn't matter who I am attracted to - male, female, etc... no matter who I am attracted to, can I really offer that person what God intends for marriage?  And if not, then shouldn't I just give up the idea of sex altogether and be celibate?

(these are personal issues that my mind is struggling with inside me - it is emphatically not my place to tell others how to live or what they should do - though I am curious what others think)

[Shantel]

the thing I'm stuck on, really comes down to having an active sex life - - Gender identity and sexual orientation are indeed very different, and I dealt with gender identity first, and now I have to deal with sexual orientation... and I keep getting stuck on the thought that it doesn't matter who I am attracted to - male, female, etc... no matter who I am attracted to, can I really offer that person what God intends for marriage?  And if not, then shouldn't I just give up the idea of sex altogether and be celibate?

(these are personal issues that my mind is struggling with inside me - it is emphatically not my place to tell others how to live or what they should do - though I am curious what others think)

You might as well enjoy having a normal sex life, if it was inherently evil Christ would have said so. Remember that you don't have to justify yourself for being human and besides you would be harming no-one. God made it clear in Genesis that you weren't made to live a lonely celibate life.