My Updates!

[Jaelithe]

So, it's been a while since I made an update, and there have been a few big things in my life.  First and foremost, I came out to my wife.  This went amazingly well to start with, she wanted to know what she can do to help with the process of all things!  As some time passed, however, she arrived somewhere closer to what I had expected, but still far from the worst possible outcome.  She can't accept my word for my status and wants a clinical diagnosis.  I have my first appointment with my therapist this coming Wednesday anyways, but it still hurts that she can't believe me without someone else's approval.  On the other hand, this could still have gone far, far worse so I'll count my blessings while I keep trying to shrug off the emotional barbs.

I'm at 3 hours of electrolysis now, which is starting to produce some noticable improvements!  From my lips to my neck I am now completely hair free!  We've been nibbling away at the upper lip bit by bit, as that is excrutiating.

Voice Therapy is still at only 2 sessions, I was unable to make my last appointment due to a massive traffic snarl from what might be a suicide(someone walked out into rush hour traffic on a major freeway).  Not much progress there just yet but I'm hoping for something resembling improvement in the next month or two.

[Lexi Belle]

That shouldn't hurt at all.  I don't think it's that she doesn't believe you, I think she's just hoping it might be something else or making sure it isn't something else.  She could be looking after your safety or making sure that this is your condition.

It's not easy for someone to fall in love with a man to find out that they want to be a woman, you should at least give her a time for doubts.

I'd say so far you're one of the lucky ones.

I'm glad your hair removal is going well, too!  Haven't started mine yet.

[mrs izzy]

I hope things with your wife improve after you get a official diagnosis. As i say to anyone who is married make sure if things do get bad quick you have a way to not be backed into a corner. Always have a plan B that includes finances.

Anyway glad the electrolysis is going good and having progress. It does take many, many hrs but all worth the effort in time.

Stay true to your path, stay positive.

Hugs
Izzy

[suzifrommd]

She can't accept my word for my status and wants a clinical diagnosis. 

I would find this troubling. Not least because clinical diagnoses for transgender is are bull$#!+. No therapist can tell you whether you are trans. The best they can do is help you figure out for yourself. Maybe they could rule out other conditions that may cause gender dysphoria, but I would hope she would know by now that that's not you.

[Lexi Belle]

I would find this troubling. Not least because clinical diagnoses for transgender is are bull$#!+. No therapist can tell you whether you are trans. The best they can do is help you figure out for yourself. Maybe they could rule out other conditions that may cause gender dysphoria, but I would hope she would know by now that that's not you.

You miss the general point behind gender therapists and the general concern a wife would have for their husband, it seems.

[Jaelithe]

That shouldn't hurt at all.  I don't think it's that she doesn't believe you, I think she's just hoping it might be something else or making sure it isn't something else.  She could be looking after your safety or making sure that this is your condition.

It's not easy for someone to fall in love with a man to find out that they want to be a woman, you should at least give her a time for doubts.

I'd say so far you're one of the lucky ones.

I'm glad your hair removal is going well, too!  Haven't started mine yet.

I definitely won the SO-lottery with her!  The fact that she is actually suggesting things like renewing our vows under my new name after we reach that point means a lot to me.  I know this is crazy stressful for her, and she's being amazing given that she, being cis, literally can not experiance dysphoria herself.

I hope things with your wife improve after you get a official diagnosis. As i say to anyone who is married make sure if things do get bad quick you have a way to not be backed into a corner. Always have a plan B that includes finances.

Anyway glad the electrolysis is going good and having progress. It does take many, many hrs but all worth the effort in time.

Stay true to your path, stay positive.

Hugs
Izzy

I do understand why she wants some kind of professional acceptance of what I've been telling her but that doesn't take the hurt away.  It's just another one of those barbs that happens every day, people calling me sir, using my birth name, etc.  99.9999% of them don't even have any information that would lead them to think there are other things I'd rather be called, and it's irrational, but it still hurts.

I do have a job, not a great one but it's something, and I know people who would likely take me in if things take a turn for the worst.  I know it's entirely possible that, even with her initial acceptance, things can change as my transition comes closer to being a reality. 

I would find this troubling. Not least because clinical diagnoses for transgender is are bull$#!+. No therapist can tell you whether you are trans. The best they can do is help you figure out for yourself. Maybe they could rule out other conditions that may cause gender dysphoria, but I would hope she would know by now that that's not you.

I know that I am a woman, but cis people tend not to take our word for it because dysphoria is so alien to them.  I don't feel that I need a therapist's approval for myself, but it would certainly be nice to have a piece of paper to flash at some of the more skeptical people. 

Right now she thinks I'm some kind of gender-hybrid.  She sees me being girly when I feel girly, but still putting on the man-mask to go to school and work(I am NOT ruffling any feathers this close to graduation, no matter how much I want to.  Especially after failing a class for dressing goth back in my 20's...) I think the biggest problem she has is that she can't separate gender identity from gender expression.  She's mentioned that she doesn't think I'm really a woman because I'm not 'that girly'.  That kind of boggles my mind though, not wanting to flounce around in lace and be some kind of stereotype doesn't make me 'not a woman'....

[Lexi Belle]

I definitely won the SO-lottery with her!  The fact that she is actually suggesting things like renewing our vows under my new name after we reach that point means a lot to me.  I know this is crazy stressful for her, and she's being amazing given that she, being cis, literally can not experiance dysphoria herself.

I do understand why she wants some kind of professional acceptance of what I've been telling her but that doesn't take the hurt away.  It's just another one of those barbs that happens every day, people calling me sir, using my birth name, etc.  99.9999% of them don't even have any information that would lead them to think there are other things I'd rather be called, and it's irrational, but it still hurts.

I do have a job, not a great one but it's something, and I know people who would likely take me in if things take a turn for the worst.  I know it's entirely possible that, even with her initial acceptance, things can change as my transition comes closer to being a reality. 

I know that I am a woman, but cis people tend not to take our word for it because dysphoria is so alien to them.  I don't feel that I need a therapist's approval for myself, but it would certainly be nice to have a piece of paper to flash at some of the more skeptical people. 

Right now she thinks I'm some kind of gender-hybrid.  She sees me being girly when I feel girly, but still putting on the man-mask to go to school and work(I am NOT ruffling any feathers this close to graduation, no matter how much I want to.  Especially after failing a class for dressing goth back in my 20's...) I think the biggest problem she has is that she can't separate gender identity from gender expression.  She's mentioned that she doesn't think I'm really a woman because I'm not 'that girly'.  That kind of boggles my mind though, not wanting to flounce around in lace and be some kind of stereotype doesn't make me 'not a woman'....

That's kinda awesome, actually.  Renewing vows in your new name.  I like your wife. xD