Nervousness in advance about first session

[Avatar0Lyra]

So I've been emailing my local gender psychologist about making an appointment and such, which has now resulted one on the 17/10, making me a little nervous as it is the first time really talking to someone who has dealt/helped with these things

[Jenny07]

Don't fret as I have just been through all that myself. It is hard, and causes anxiety but once it is done it feels so good.
It will be hard not to think about it over the next two weeks so do your best and be honest to yourself when you go.

How do I know?

Just got back from a gender therapist myself today!
Was it scary? Heck yes but its now history...

And I now have the magic pills.
Still can't believe it.

All the best J

[Cindy]

It's normal to be nervous.

But remember a lot of us become really good friends with our therapists and you will soon really look forward to having a good chat with someone who cares.

OMG they have given Jenny the magic pills! She'll be cruising Manly in her bikini next. DDD in no time!!!

Congrats Sis

[Sephirah]

Like Cindy says, it's perfectly normal to be nervous, hon. Heck, it can be a big thing putting words to the way you feel with someone you've never met. But maybe it will help to remember that this person is there to help you, to listen and not judge you, and to work with you to find out what's best for you and how you can best move forward in your life.

I get quite insanely nervous and anxious when dealing with situations like that. There are a couple of ways I have found to deal with this somewhat:

1) Visualise the best possible outcome from the event. See yourself in a few months time, when everything has gone exactly the way you want it to go, laughing when you look back on this and wondering what the heck the fuss was all about.

2) I do this one more often - tell yourself that the appointment isn't until X date, so there is no point worrying about it until closer to the time. Tell yourself that you will allow yourself to worry about it on the day. But not before then.

Then, when the day comes, tell yourself that the appointment isn't until X time, so there's no point in worrying about it until closer to that time. And that you'll allow yourself to worry about it an hour before you're due to be there. But not before then.

Then keep going... one minute before... when you're actually there... and before you know it, you've done what you set out to do and there isn't actually anything to worry about.

[luna nyan]

Like everyone else said, it's perfectly normal to be nervous.  For many of us, when we go to a therapist, it's often the first time we lay bare before another one of our deepest desires, and sadly, all too often, one of our heaviest secrets.

And doing it in front of a complete stranger.

If you're not nervous, then you have a will of steel, and in my opinion exceptional.

To get myself over the line I told myself a few things:
1.  I'm sick of wondering about my gender identity.
2.  I'm sick of feeling screwed up and guilty about my feelings.
3.  I want to sort myself out so I can live, rather than continuously think of what might be.
4.  I don't care about the outcome, so long as I can live with myself after.

That got me through the appointment with the GP, and the first appointment with a therapist.  It got easier after that.  I didn't like my first therapist, but got along really well with my second one - once you get a good rapport going the sessions can be very helpful, if not confronting at times.

[Avatar0Lyra]

All of you make good points and I agree with them, however one thing I'm worried about is that usually I become kind-of guarded (and cold, I guess?) when I see councilors and therapists .
I am feeling a bit more relaxed though, thanks.

And I now have the magic pills.
Still can't believe it.

All the best J

Congrats

[Megumi]

Just like you I'm on the same path. I'm less than a week away from my own first appointment with a LGBT therapist. I don't feel nervous at all and maybe it's the euphoria of being beyond elated and happy that after nearly 20 years of agony I'm going to tell the first person ever how I actually feel in person and with some luck shortly thereafter I'll begin the real journey. Maybe on the 9th I'll feel some queasiness but right now it's nothing but relief and happiness. The best thing I can say is that even with the nervousness this is something you need to do so you don't have that doubt later in life for not fulfilling your dream to be the real you. It's my biggest regret in life that I just didn't do it in my late teens instead of my late 20's regardless of what positive and negative things that may happen because of me coming out. Lastly right before you go in go to the bathroom and have a chat with yourself in the mirror, that person will give you the courage you need I've done this many times and I have found that talking to myself "all be it crazy sounding" has helped me overcome the doubter that would always knock me down a few pegs or more. 

[Robin Mack]

At last!  A transition-related thing I can speak on with some authority, having actually done it! 

I know it's nerve wracking, especially if there isn't a lot of choice in your area... what if you don't like them, what if they don't like you?  What if they reject the notion that you're trans?  All these and more were running through my head, and the actual experience was a very pleasant surprise.  We had a gentle conversation, regarding why I was there, what her experience with trans people was, etc.  I told her honestly that I had done a lot of soul searching, told her about my previous therapy, where I was coming from, background information about my life.

Ideally, it would be good to ask your therapist about her or his experience with transgender people before sitting down with them for the first meeting (Have you known anyone personally who transitioned? -- always good to know if they have been there through all aspects of a transition or twenty).  The first session is often the free "getting to know you" session anyway, so feel free to ask anything.  If a therapist is going to be successful, they need to develop rapport with their patient, so they will generally be happy to answer your questions.  It's kind of like a job interview, for them.  Remember, you have some power here, too; you can always find another therapist.

That's another thing.  From the outside, they seem like the all-powerful gatekeepers to the magic kingdom of hormones and SRS and, to a certain extent, they are... but from their perspective they are genuinely trying to help someone (you) come to terms with your gender identity and dysphoria and help make you well.  They *want* to help you, otherwise there are higher paying jobs they could get with their degree.

If you get a therapist that won't answer questions, doesn't click with you, doesn't have experience in the area you need, *you* have the power to fire them on the spot.  Remembering that can help.

Ideally you'll come out of the appointment feeling confident in your therapist and her or his ability to help you through the process... and that's a big step.  A great start. 

*hug*  Good luck, sister!

[Avatar0Lyra]

Well it went pretty well, and the person I saw has had years of experience apparently and we got along very well and such, so yeah, all in all it was a pretty good day

[Gina_Z]

Congratulations! I'm curious. Did they care about your presentation? What was your presentation?

[Avatar0Lyra]

I presented as male and they didn't care about my presentation, but I was told I look quite androgynous and I also think the receptionist kind-of knew why I was there, seeing as the person I saw is quite specialized in this area and has worked in it for a number of years

[Cindy]

I presented as male and they didn't care about my presentation, but I was told I look quite androgynous and I also think the receptionist kind-of knew why I was there, seeing as the person I saw is quite specialized in this area and has worked in it for a number of years

I'll give you a heads up, the receptionist know and they accept you, otherwise they would no longer be employed!!!!