My biggest hurdle in transition; what's yours?

[EmmaS]

I was reflecting on my first attempt at transition and I've been able to narrow down several reasons why I failed the first time. However I think my biggest hurdle would have to be the expectations I set for myself concerning transition. I tend to be very passionate and intense about things I care about and transition is no different; so I want to see results immediately and I want to do everything at once and ultimately I cause myself a ton of stress, anxiety and no progress. So this time around I want to take a deep breath and just get through transition one step at a time, it's not an easy journey and I need to be less intense concerning this. What about you guys? What hurdles have you all come across while transitioning that you found to be the hardest to overcome or even stopped you from transitioning as well?

<3

[jamielikesyou]

To put it bluntly, finances. And I do alright. Transition is such an enormous undertaking, on time, emotions, relationships. But so far for me, the main cost has been real currency. If I had a blank cheque I could still probably make it bounce 

[EmmaS]

To put it bluntly, finances. And I do alright. Transition is such an enormous undertaking, on time, emotions, relationships. But so far for me, the main cost has been real currency. If I had a blank cheque I could still probably make it bounce 

It really is expensive, having to buy an entire new wardrobe of clothes(that you actually like granted), makeup, hormones, doctor visits, and so on and so on, and that doesn't even include surgery costs for those who opt for surgery.

[sam79]

Woa Nelly!... the cost... Would hate to work out what I've spent so far, and so, so, so much more to go.

Actually the cost hasn't been the biggest hurdle. The biggest hurdle to date was getting hormones right. It took 5 months to finally squash T. A close second is the difficulty in just being in public while I'm changing.

[Christine167]

I'd have to say divorce. It's been really hard slowly moving towards a separation and then a divorce with my wife. She has been slowly moving out and into her parents house along with my son. That leaves empty spaces in the house as reminders that it is happening and that I won't be able to wake up every day and see my son's smiling sleepy face anymore.   
I'm also already missing my best friend. I've been married to her for more than six years now and once I came out she has had the hardest time dealing with it. And the whole thing just makes it feel like my life is imploding. But to go back to being a man feels like a slow agonizing death by poison.

I'm glad that you posted this thread. These feelings are why I've been so quiet for the past week.

[EmmaS]

I'd have to say divorce. It's been really hard slowly moving towards a separation and then a divorce with my wife. She has been slowly moving out and into her parents house along with my son. That leaves empty spaces in the house as reminders that it is happening and that I won't be able to wake up every day and see my son's smiling sleepy face anymore.   
I'm also already missing my best friend. I've been married to her for more than six years now and once I came out she has had the hardest time dealing with it. And the whole thing just makes it feel like my life is imploding. But to go back to being a man feels like a slow agonizing death by poison.

I'm glad that you posted this thread. These feelings are why I've been so quiet for the past week.

That must be extremely hard for you to go through, I'm really sorry to hear that . Just know you have those who love you here and will always be here for you. You aren't a bad person, you are finally becoming truly who you are!

[Jessica Merriman]

I hate to be the vain one, but what really scares me is thinking I am going to look like a cartoon figure or a caricature of a woman. After a very stress full career, two marriages and 47 years of "T". I think I am going to look hideous. I have a make over and picture session this weekend and I am so scared. Some friends are making me do it to prove I will look OK and not like a psychotic squirrel, but I really think they WILL prove I will look like one. If I look as bad as I think I will, I won't know what to do after that. Except sit down and cry. Sorry to be a buzzkill.

[EmmaS]

I hate to be the vain one, but what really scares me is thinking I am going to look like a cartoon figure or a caricature of a woman. After a very stress full career, two marriages and 47 years of "T". I think I am going to look hideous. I have a make over and picture session this weekend and I am so scared. Some friends are making me do it to prove I will look OK and not like a psychotic squirrel, but I really think they WILL prove I will look like one. If I look as bad as I think I will, I won't know what to do after that. Except sit down and cry. Sorry to be a buzzkill.

Passing is a concern for all of us, I know some extremely beautiful girls who worry about passing even, it's just something we all individually have to try and get past it mentally. I'm sure you will look beautiful though, just try and be confident, confidence goes a long way   <3

[Ltl89]

My family and my undying love for them.  Ir makes things hard and keep keeps me from making the progress I want.  Fear and finances are another thinf, but its really about keeping a sense of emotional stability with my mother.

[LordKAT]

Money and medical access.

[FrancisAnn]

Just everything it seems.

I'm older in my mid 50's & I did not have the courage to change long ago early in life. I for sure need a face lift & neck lift. I have visited one plastic surgeon however I have appointments with others to maybe proceed for a more feminine face this fall & winter.

I'm 5' 9" & a whopping almost 200 pounds, disgusting. Some how I must loose all this fat & try to get back trim some.

Worried about ever having a decent depth vagina regardless of all beginning effort to change & improve myself. My little thing is only maybe 4-5 inches long at best & seems to be shrinking with HRT? How can any surgeon ever make this into a nice normal size vagina?

HRT is going great, breasts are growing, I feel great about decision, small feet & hands, nice smile, nice legs, nice nails, nice feet, mentally I'm just fine, love being a woman inside however I want to become a nice woman outside.

Feel like I'm running the 200 yard hurdles. 


I mainly posted this because if any of you young girls read this do not delay in changing & improving your life. The feelings & desires never go away. My best to all you SP girls.

[KabitTarah]

Right now, family...
Once my wife decides it's time to start the divorce... the divorce.
Once the divorce is over... the divorce and expenses (since I'll no longer have much money for this expensive life).

My financial priorities are really going to have to change... and there are so many big non-female expenses after divorce.

My financial priorities (after the big monthly expenses):
1. HRT costs (hopefully low)
2. Healthy food (pretty cheap - veggies & chicken)
3. Kids - birthdays, Christmas, outings, etc.
4. Savings (transition expenses as needed, maybe being able to afford a house again, some day)
5. Entertainment expenses -- this will probably dry up, but I will still need to have some (especially if I can find a social life).

That list alone seems insurmountable... (Edit: and I realized I didn't even think to put the big female costs in there... toiletries & makeup, clothing - I have almost no girl clothes, etc.)

[Alainaluvsu]

At first it was getting a job, but I finally got one after 3 months of looking and plenty of interviews. I think that's just because the job market sucks so much. But the one thing I haven't been able to get since I transitioned is a boyfriend. I've had plenty of dates, and get hit on quite a bit, but it seems they all are afraid of what their parents will think once they find out.

But I've gotta say I've been pretty lucky with transition and if my problem is men ... I have it easy.

[KabitTarah]

At first it was getting a job, but I finally got one after 3 months of looking and plenty of interviews. I think that's just because the job market sucks so much. But the one thing I haven't been able to get since I transitioned is a boyfriend. I've had plenty of dates, and get hit on quite a bit, but it seems they all are afraid of what their parents will think once they find out.

But I've gotta say I've been pretty lucky with transition and if my problem is men ... I have it easy.

Congrats on the job! I think plenty of girls have problems with men... the problems might be different, but at least you're in good company!! ♥

[Danielle Emmalee]

My biggest hurdle is getting over worrying what other people will think of me.

[suzifrommd]

My biggest hurdle is:

HAIR

To much of it in some places, not enough of it in others.

[Christine Eryn]

Acceptance of myself and the decision not to continue living a miserable life.

[Gina_Z]

1- Fear of rejection by family
2- Fear of not passing
Other than those fears, I'm fairly well grounded and emotionally stable.

[FrancisAnn]

My biggest hurdle is:

HAIR

To much of it in some places, not enough of it in others.

Amen to that sister. It's just not fair sometimes.

[greypeacock]

Mine is finding the money for surgery. I've had my letters for years and been on hormones for a goodly while. I feel absolutely stuck three feet from the finish line.