"Swear" jar?

[Ms Grace]

So I was thinking about the point that I transition at work, it's only a small work place of about 20 people, mostly women and I know that the majority of them will be supportive, some more than others. Some have known me for between 5 to 15 years (yeah, I've worked there that long and so have they!) and I do expect a fair bit of initial misgendering and use of my former name by accident, probably moreso behind my back than to my face... I guess I won't know until I fully transition. But I was thinking a "fun" way to deal with it, especially for those who really want to be supportive and want to acknowledge their lapse in protocol, could be a swear jar of sorts - 5c for every misgender and 10c for every use of my former name... even if they don't do it to my face. The money raised could go to a charity nominated by me, probably the gender centre I've been going to. Thoughts? Anyone else ever use this approach or think it might work in their own family/friend/work circles?

[Danielle Emmalee]

Sounds like a good idea to me.

[LordKAT]

Good idea but use the funds for your own care.Every time they disrespect you, they will be furthering your cause. That may help the lingerers not linger to old habits quite so long.

[Ms Grace]

hah, well it could always go towards a nice pair of boots I suppose! 
To be honest I don't know how much I'd raise, we are a progressive organisation and people are mindful of "correct language" on a range of issues, it's just that names and gender pronouns are so utterly ingrained I can't really expect them to change gears instantly. I thought this could be a fun way, not a punishment but certainly a reminder, rather than me glaring at them or feeling offended or them feeling embarrassed. The gender centre I mentioned in my first post also does outreach to workplaces to help smooth out transition with co-workers... and it's a free service but I figure a thank you donation might be a nice gesture. Still, I do like boots!

[Ms Grace]

Sorry, nothing going at the moment! 
But I will update on progress come April when I expect to go full time.

Doesn't have to just be the workplace though, I know a lot of people have trouble with friends and family members who say they're supportive and yet still constantly use the wrong pronouns or name. If they're supportive, here's their chance to prove their contrition! 

[mynameisjacob]

That's a really good idea! You could even use the money from the jar to buy something nice for yourself. Wether the money go towards hormones, underwear, etc. Something to help with your transition

[Cindy]

Sounds a plan Grace!

The women at my work have never slipped, some of the guys have, but they correct themselves. I think in general guys have more problems that girls in the respect of gender.

I'd also worked in the same place for many years prior to going FT, as you know the Aussie sex discrimination acts are pretty tight as well.

I did organise a girls night out for dinner and that really broke the ice.

[Ms Grace]

That's a really good idea! You could even use the money from the jar to buy something nice for yourself. Wether the money go towards hormones, underwear, etc. Something to help with your transition

Boots! 

Sounds a plan Grace!

The women at my work have never slipped, some of the guys have, but they correct themselves. I think in general guys have more problems that girls in the respect of gender.

This is true, and I'm also in a mostly female work environment... so maybe I won't make enough for those boots after all!