The More Amiable Gender

[Alainaluvsu]

When I was running around like a guy, it was always easier to be around women because they were hands down always nicer. I could ask them a question and they'd always be happy to help me with a smile. On the other hand, men would just point me at what needs to be done and leave me alone.

Now, girls do what the men did and men do what the women did. For example, at work I'm always hoping to approach a guy instead of a girl when it used to be the opposite. Reason? Men actually smile at me more and are much more pleasant to be around! I used to walk into a woman and think "Yes! A girl! She's going to probably be happy to see me". Now? They're almost smirky towards me. When I used to walk into a room and see a guy I would always think "Ok don't look at him, don't talk to him, he's gonna blow me off anyways". Now? It's much more likely that they're going to want me around!

Men are much more cute now. For example, today I was at work at the front desk. A cute young man was finished with his appointment and he came in to get his mom (who previously blew me off when I asked if something I found in the waiting room was hers). When he walked in he smiled at me and said hi, so I did the same. He kept trying to keep eye contact with me when the door closed on his finger. It was too cute! But at the same time, it's one of the reasons I have a different preference of which gender to be around.

I guess when you're a girl, other girls cut you no slack. While men will do anything to keep you around.

[Marina mtf]

you pass from cooperation mode to envy mode, go to visit a farm nearby and look at the hens....

this should make you proud of yourself, that means that cis-females are looking at you
as one of the "hens", so this means that your transition is good.
Of course that means that you might experience the "stabbing on the back" behavior which SOME
females (not all, thanks God) exhibit.

Welcome to the hens! 

[suzifrommd]

You're too attractive, Alaina. I'm somewhat plain looking, and women find it easier to accept me. I get far more smiles from women than I ever did as a female.

Though I still get leers from males.

[Miranda Catherine]

I find it pretty easy to be around both, probably because I'm nearly sixty. I'm also in considerable pain and walk with effort and sometimes obvious pain. I think people feel sorry for me. I hate it, but I've got too much pride to walk with a cane. Hell, I should be on a walker. It's so embarrassing sometimes I can't even describe it. Before I made my posture the most important part of being in public, someone, often an older man, would make sure to ask me if I needed help with the groceries or anything else I was loading or carrying. When even other women hold the door for you, you know you're in trouble, and that's happened to me, lol! I thank God daily I pass as well as I do, because I think I'd be a target otherwise. I was once very jaded and cynical, but for every mean person I've met since transition, I've met a hundred just the opposite! I think I'm perceived as just another somewhat attractive fifty something year old woman, and that will have to do. No matter how I'm perceived, as long as I'm looked at properly, as a woman, I'm pretty happy. Mira

[Robin Mack]

I'm not passing all that well yet, so I'm in an interesting area... I have found that men are more courteous and warm, like you described... and women don't seem to find me a threat, and are more open and laid back with me than before.  I still get help and warm smiles from women as well as men, which was a big surprise to me...

Although, since I'm passing nearly as well as a tricycle on the freeway (in my eyes, anyway) it's quite possible that people see me as a tall clown.  Ah, well... At least *I* feel better about myself presenting female. 

The thing I appreciate the most, though, is that when presenting female, women no longer tense up and go into "presentation mode" around me like they used to.  And the personal space zone around me has greatly decreased, which has taken some pleasant getting used to. 

[KabitTarah]

I've noticed that, since making some changes in my appearance and trying to keep my voice a tad higher and softer... the women at work are acting more friendly to me. Maybe it's just in my mind.

I think a lot depends on where you work and what sort of women they are. My industry is male dominated so there's a very obvious women's circle that I can hopefully break into

[Alainaluvsu]

Everybody at my work is awesome, but there's only 2 men that work there (and only 1 is straight) We are all pretty nice to each other in general. There's no competition in the workplace where I work and the women all get along with each other (including me).

[Seyranna]

Chick facts no23: The more you are attractive the more the less attractive/confident women and generally speaking other women will be bitchy with you.

[KabitTarah]

Chick facts no23: The more you are attractive the more the less attractive/confident women and generally speaking other women will be bitchy with you.

Does that also apply to your own confidence? "The more attractive / confident you are..."
My guess is yes - but it depends on what form that confidence takes.

I'm looking forward to this. I'm confident, will hopefully look OK (I don't know how attractive... but at least I'll be confident), and I'm pretty friendly. Most people like me, I think... either that or I'm a huge optimist (yes) and pretty clueless (probably). LOL