The moment you had the revelation.

[MissC]

So on Halloween will be my 1 year mark on HRT. I woke up today like any other and did my routine. Pulled hair back, did a thorough shave, you know the usual. I started my makeup. Picked up my eyeliner pencil and did a quick glance in the mirror. I almost dropped the pencil in shock.

There, in the mirror before me, was a pretty girl! I'd never seen her before! I usually see a long haired dude with boobs but there she was before me plain as day. I called to my fiance "Honey, since when do I look like a girl when I'm not wearing makeup?" "Since 4 months ago. I told you before but you never believed me." she replied.

So I guess today is the day there was enough change to break through my previously held self image, pretty close to the day of my 1 year mark.

For those of you who like your self image, how far along in the process of transition (and more precisely, at what point of HRT if it occurred without the aid of surgery) did your physical change cause your self image to shatter and be replaced by a new one that matched how you felt inside?

[Nicole W]

I'm not there yet, but posts like this give me hope for the future. Only a month on HRT, but I think I see her in there somewhere...if I look close enough!

I'm glad you made it there, and without surgery no less! Thanks for being an inspiration for me and other transgirls .

[Northern Jane]

I had been living part time en femme since I was about 14 and in my early 20s I was going through some pictures and throwing away anything unimportant. I came across a picture of a rather striking girl in a brown leather dress standing in front of a pair of French glass doors with long black hair and and thought "Wow! Who the heck is THAT??!!" For the life of me, I couldn't remember her and I SHOULD remember anyone that pretty! Then I noticed that the French glass doors were the ones in my parents house and that was even more puzzling! When had this girl been in my parents house? I studied her features more carefully, trying to remember her and that's when I realized the picture was ME! LOL! (I am naturally strawberry blond but in my teens I had an assortment of wigs and was pretty good at completely changing my look. It was more effective than I realized ROFL!!!)

[Ms Grace]

Likewise, pictures of me from my previous transition when I fully believed "I was not passing at all" I look at them now and think I looked like such a girl!

[suzifrommd]

Great question.

I would say that I experienced it all somewhat differently.

I have always only ever been me.

I've been working on my appearance and on the daily processes required to make myself look female, but I still see exactly me.

Maybe someday what happened to you will also happen to me. But for now, I still see the same old person, whose gender is very hard to define, but who is thrilled that the world sees him/her as a woman.

(When I originally typed this, the last sentence came out "sees him" which shows that I still partly gender myself male.)

[{Alice}]

This is a beautiful message! Thank you for sharing him with us. it has really touched me. I almost crying (effect of hormones?)

[Eva Marie]

I now tend to see "her" when I look in the mirror and less of "him", even when presenting as "him".

I'd say the change began to consistently happen about 6 months ago. It began when I would be getting ready and I'd see a dude with makeup on and then suddenly something would shift and I'd see a girl there staring back at me. When I put on my wig that always helps to tip the scale toward the feminine.

In fact it feels more and more weird these days to NOT be presenting as "her".

[LittleEmily24]

Is it strange that reading this post almost made me cry? I'm not even on hormones or anything yet, but this literally got me teary-eyed. Reading this gives me hope that maybe one day I'll be able to see me in the mirror and not the irremovable suit of armor. <3

[LittleEmily24]

Oh no.... Sigh...

I'm not sure what this means >_<

[Hideyoshi]

I've had a couple of those revelations.  However, they get struck down and rationalized out so I'm back to the old dysphoric self in a few moments :/

[Sammy]

I'm not sure what this means >_<

Too many personal memories... But thank You for bringing those up for me

[LittleEmily24]

Too many personal memories... But thank You for bringing those up for me

ohh... I was worried I may have said something silly.. *laughs nervously*

[Jenna Marie]

It was about six weeks on estrogen when I caught sight of a woman's reflection in a glass door and wondered who that was. As for when I saw a woman consistently in the mirror... I dunno. I'm my own harshest critic, so to be honest, some days I STILL don't see her (it'll be four years HRT soon). I think it was somewhere around 3-4 months that I started to see her more often than not, but there was no moment when the switch flipped forever (darnit).

[calico]

I'd say it was about 2 months when I started noticing things, and features, but I never completely saw myself un-till earlier this year, after I had my grs surgery, the 100% defining moment for me was in my hotel room in a big baggy shirt as I walked by the mirror, and caught a glimpse and turned right back around and looked right in the mirror, and there without make-up, with dirty hair in a big oversized sleep shirt, I clearly saw myself and with no trace of any male, I always knew but somehow never saw, but here I was it was like the black and white had been upgraded and switched to color, I tear'd up and began to cry, floods of emotion came over me as finally I saw the girl others had seen for many years. ... this was probably and will always be one of the best times in my life

[Lesley_Roberta]

Not sure I will ever experience a moment of 'wow is that me?'.

I'd be happy to experience a bit more of acceptance though.