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Oh no! Boys!

Started by Bijou, October 23, 2013, 03:01:47 PM

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Bijou

Ok so I've always considered myself strictly into women, and scoffed at the idea that HRT could alter sexual preference. Wow was I wrong. Before her, I didn't even have an opinion of how guys looked as far as handsome, etc. Not because I was holding back, or scared..i was just indifferent to them. But since having my dosages increased in July, I've been seeing more and more guys that I think to myself hey, he's pretty cute. And I have to admit, I'm curious now, what's it like being with a guy, relationships, everything, and out of everything in my transition, this is the one thing that is causing me distress. I don't know how to deal with liking guys lol, I've never had to before.
Now, I'm happily married, and would NEVER do anything with anyone other than my wife, this is all curiosity and trying to come to terms with this "added interest".
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Ms Grace

I haven't had a shift in my orientation/preference, it's still women for me. Sure I see some guys who I think are handsome or good looking but don't feel any attraction towards them... certainly not feeling anything sexual. Not yet anyway!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Robin Mack

I've been bi as long as I remember having sexual interest... so, perhaps an insight might help here.

You will no doubt want to talk to your partner about it... be careful, make sure she *knows* you are staying with her and that she is still your wonderful, attractive partner to whom you are dedicated before you do... with all the other changes in your life, she may very well worry that you won't want to be with her anymore...

Once you've talked with her about it, though, it's always possible that you can compare notes on what you find attractive in men, girl-talk about it, etc.  I've been able to do that with my CIS-girlfriend/fiancee, and other women in my life.  It can be a lot of fun.  :)

Anyway, just my two cents.  I wish you luck in exploring this new-found facet of your life.  It is probable that there was some attraction there before, just waiting to be legitimized, since research tends to show that transition (gender) doesn't change sexual preference... but who knows?  People are wonderfully strange and complex creatures!  :)
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Miyuki

On the testosterone blocking/low dose estrogen regimen I'm on, I've noticed a few differences in how I feel on that subject. I used to be only attracted to women, and while that's still true to a point, if a guy was actually interested in me, and if he wasn't too masculine but was still attractive, and if he had a nice personality and we got along really well... maybe. I wonder how I'd feel with a full dose of estrogen...
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vlmitchell

I'm going to say this very plainly: be very careful. A lot of us find that sexuality slips around when you get fully saturated by HRT. Been there, done that. Just be open and honest with your partner about everything you're thinking and/or considering. It gets pretty rocky in these here waters.

I started at about a 2 or so on the Kinsey scale before transition. I'm now something around a 5 so, just saying.

Kinsey Scale



0 3 6
Perfect
Heterosexual
Perfect
Bi-sexual
Perfect
Homosexual
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Bijou

I remember when I realized the change in feelings towards guys, I was watching storm->-bleeped-<-s on Netflix with my wife, and one of the guys, I think his name is Joel, when I saw him I was like *bites lip*. I just keep telling myself they have cooties though!
Victoria, I've never heard of the Kinsey scale. I believe I was a firm 6 until recently, but that may not be the case as others have suggested.
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sam79

It's a really interesting topic which I'm figuring out too.

Pre HRT, I only really found women sexually attractive, had no developed interest for boys. Although I do recall several occasions just after puberty where I wasn't sure, but it was a case of "I have to like girls if I'm a boy". Any attraction to boys back then was buried deeper than my gender identity issues.... Way way way down.

But with HRT, my insidious male libido disappeared, and with it, my former sexual attraction to women. I understand that female sexuality is fairly different ( and have still yet to explore it ), but this is scary... And if that wasn't scary enough, I've definitely been finding the odd guy rather attractive.

I suspect that there always was some attraction to boys, always eclipsed by what was socially acceptable and a desire to be normal and fit in. It wasn't until the start of transition that I threw out that whole notion and started to just be me.

But whatever happens in terms of sexual orientation is fine. There are no rules...   ;)
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Bardoux

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on October 23, 2013, 03:42:13 PM
I'm going to say this very plainly: be very careful. A lot of us find that sexuality slips around when you get fully saturated by HRT. Been there, done that. Just be open and honest with your partner about everything you're thinking and/or considering. It gets pretty rocky in these here waters.

I started at about a 2 or so on the Kinsey scale before transition. I'm now something around a 5 so, just saying.

Kinsey Scale



0 3 6
Perfect
Heterosexual
Perfect
Bi-sexual
Perfect
Homosexual

Do you mean you predominantly liked women pre-transition and that's remained the same only now as a lesbian?

I find that i am a lot more flirtatious with guys, but i am not sure yet how i would feel in a relationship with one just now.
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carrie359

My therapist told me to be prepared for anything.. she said it is quite possible my orientation could change.
I can buy that.. ..if the HRT completes what mother nature started would only be natural I suppose right??
I told her I could not see myself with a guy ... and she said it happens.. 
Carrie

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suzifrommd

Pre transition, I thought the idea of being with a man was gross.

After I started thinking of myself as soft and feminine, the thought of physical intimacy with a man no longer seemed awful. Now I'm curious what it would be like (though I would probably wait until after SRS).

But these feelings came about BEFORE I started HRT.

And all that being said, I still haven't found men I'm sexually attracted to.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Just Shelly

This also has happened to me and it was a strange feeling at first...one I tried to fight off. I have since accepted the fact I am a heterosexual woman now. Just wish I could meet men and actually date more then one
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Apples Mk.II

Inner thoughts about men appeared when I started to self identify as a woman (without knowing) well before HRT and some months before the full blown GID came.

Still haven't been able to make peace with that orientation. My orientation desperately wants boys, my active brain finds them gross and has pretty high standards for "breeding". I have more interest for gay males than hetero ones, but sadly that's an impossible love.


Why am I looking at photos of lovely gay men hugging and kissing instead of going to bed? Damn, it's so unfair... I'll need to ask Darkie for some recommendations on Yaoi,
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Alainaluvsu

I was borderline asexual before I started HRT. I've always thought women were pretty and liked looking at them in a non sexual manner pre hrt ... but when it came to sex, I wanted nothing to do with them (I tried 3 or 4 times but it never worked). I've always been sexually attracted to men but not strongly.

Almost the week after I started HRT my desire to have a man went crazy. I noticed every guy a mile away. That fluctuated quite a bit until now I think I'm more like "Wow he's cute" ... but I'm not really boy crazy either. My desire for women is none. I don't even care to look at women anymore. As a matter of fact, I don't even think I can point out attractive women the way I used to before HRT.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Kaylee

+1 on the "started being attracted to men after starting HRT" counter here.

It wasn't an immediate switch, it took a few months before I noticed any difference - it was during one of the sexposition scenes in Game of Thrones that I first clocked on that I was glancing between Jon Snow and his missus and a bit confused as to who I preferred.  I'm now at the point where a well built man will send a shiver down my spine, give me a tingle on the back of the neck/head and cause odd contractions "down there".

I'm still not sure I could have a relationship with a man, but the thought of having a bit of fun with one is definately sat in my mind.
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big kim

I was bi before HRT but with more of a leaning to women.These days its 50/50.You have rice you want noodles next time!
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: big kim on October 24, 2013, 08:26:59 AM
I was bi before HRT but with more of a leaning to women.These days its 50/50.You have rice you want noodles next time!

LOL. +1

I've had a similar development...bi before, bi after...but the proportions have changed.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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KabitTarah

Quote from: Victoria Mitchell on October 23, 2013, 03:42:13 PM
I'm going to say this very plainly: be very careful. A lot of us find that sexuality slips around when you get fully saturated by HRT. Been there, done that. Just be open and honest with your partner about everything you're thinking and/or considering. It gets pretty rocky in these here waters.

I started at about a 2 or so on the Kinsey scale before transition. I'm now something around a 5 so, just saying.

Kinsey Scale



0 3 6
Perfect
Heterosexual
Perfect
Bi-sexual
Perfect
Homosexual

This scale is a little confusing for me. Do I count my male years as male or female? I think a split of the two makes the most sense.

I'm not on HRT and have gone from a M0 (liking only women) to a F2-4 (liking both, but definitely questioning my attraction to women). It is really, really weird... and I'm not thinking too much about it until I've been on HRT for a little while. Yes... that means I've relegated my sexual preference to fantasy only... and I'm keeping it there for a while!!
~ Tarah ~

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Claire (formerly Magdalena)

I've been wondering a lot about this. I'm not worried about my preferences changing, just wondering if they might. Looks like an interesting time ahead.  ;)

Thank you all for the information.   ;D

I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way



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KabitTarah

Quote from: Magdalena on October 24, 2013, 11:53:05 AM
I've been wondering a lot about this. I'm not worried about my preferences changing, just wondering if they might. Looks like an interesting time ahead.  ;)

Thank you all for the information.   ;D

I was worried at first... I had a wife. That's changing and so are my preferences. They may have always been wrong! I personally think that (some of us) are attracted to the female form because we like to look at the fashions... as well as what's beneath the fashion... and imagine ourselves in that position. It's not the same as being attracted to women, but it's not that different to the closeted trans* girl brain :D

I also think that, since it's not considered good or normal (by society, parents, etc) to be gay... we latch onto our feminine preference as a hetero-male preference... for me, time and HRT will tell... but I know my fantasies have always been me as a woman with my partner as a man. In fact - that's always how it was with my wife, too. Lesbian fantasies may have been in there too... but hey - I'm questioning  :P lol
~ Tarah ~

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carrie359

Kabit,
Such a good point one that I don't like to admit.... I do love my wife but damn it.. I have always wanted to be her... so there I admitted it.
Also, for sure.. if you could wave that magic wand and I get CIS female body.. I would be looking for a guy not a girl..
So what you said makes perfect sense.. If I were suddenly a female.. why would I want to be with a female...It would be party on...having fun.
Seems I have played the male role so long that the transition process will be so slow and honestly confusing.. I don't see myself with guys later but if I did SRS I don't see why not....
Carrie
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