Cis persons and not using legal names (so why should we)

[Lesley_Roberta]

I have seen many threads discussing the barrier of 'legal' name, but this morning I had something of a realization.

My father never used his actual first name, it was always his middle name. I knew he was James Kenneth, but, he lived an entire life known as Ken.

No one ever made any fuss. His signature was jk surname.... but James never appeared in his life as a whole. If he showed up for an event that needed a name tag, it was Ken. If he was hired, they were hiring Ken surname. They knew him as Ken. And unless you actually were nosy, you'd never really notice his signature revealed there was a name not known to be used.

Writers also use pen names. I don't think there is any legal basis for being permitted to use whatever name you feel like pulling out of thin air either.
If I were to desire to write romance novels, and I was male, I'd likely not feel the slightest trouble picking a woman's name just to avoid being a guy writing for women about largely female slanted fiction.

So there it is people. Yes if you sign vital key documentation, you need to use the name that will have legal binding ramifications. Because they will want to know precisely who signed the documents.
But, to get hired to flip burgers? Yeah right, like I am fretting over giving you Lesley instead of the yet still current Leslie. My thoughts, tell the employer to get bent if they can't call you by the name you expect to answer to. Any job that would give you grief, will give you grief just for not conforming to their many other expectations.

I think we might be over thinking the value of 'legal' name in too many cases.
It will cost me 137 bucks to file for the name change.
Given a choice of that, or a new dress or a cool model, or a some new electronic must have item, the name can continue to wait actually.

I can see the desire to get M changed to F on my identification. But, when I consider how often I will be in a position to need a new outfit, and how often I will need to prove I am the gender I claim to be, it comes down to priorities. You need to seriously ask yourself, how often in a day a week a month even a year, will you be 'proving' you are the gender you say you are?

I don't expect to be needing to do it very often myself actually. I grew up in a small town, everyone likely knows how I was born and who I am as now. And I don't travel.

My name is Lesley Roberta because I said so, and I am a woman because I said so. And while it might be a while it won't be forever before I get the parts swapped, the thing is, I am not expecting to need that F on the identification all that much really even after.

My father used the name he felt like using.
I plan to follow his lead.
Just because your parents picked out a name, that you wore for a while, doesn't mean you need permission to change it.
It's your name eh.

[Sarah Louise]

Try getting a new drivers license or filing your income taxes without a legal name change.

[DriftingCrow]

I see where Lesley is coming from. Every day people don't need to see documentation to have proof of my name. I don't care what the IRS thinks I am.

If you can afford a name change, go ahead. It does get tricky if you need to show an ID at a hotel, etc. but if you're liked Lesley, and don't travel, and everyone knows your history, the legal name isn't such a hinderance.

[Lo]

This is what I'm starting to think in terms of, but still-- I want one on principle. I also travel a lot and for air travel you have to use legal names down to a tee.

And apparently Canadian airlines are perfectly within their legal right to deny your boarding if your gender presentation doesn't match the marker on your passport. So... it's not always important, but when it is, it's important.

[Jenna Marie]

I had this same realization when I posted online about names and got about 1/3 of the cis people replying - including some friends where I'd had no clue - saying they were using variations, nicknames, middle names, and in two cases names that had ZERO resemblance to the birth certificate. However, it's also true that in all instances they were not choosing names of "opposing" gender to their own (though some were gender-neutral/indeterminate).

Oddly enough, in my home state it's also legal to simply change your name by use. Meaning that my mother-in-law choosing a totally different name was permitted, after a year or two of "doing business as" that name, to get credit cards and bank accounts with that name. I do think her legal ID was still in the birth name, but people were rarely confused. For my own sake, since I was going to need to convince a lot of bureaucrats, I still chose to get a court-certified document of legal name change to wave around. Still, Lesley would be 100% correct in my state that all she needed to do to change her name was declare it and live under the new name.

[tgchar21]

As Jenna Marie said, in many states you can theoretically assume another name by the "usage" or "common law" method - as long as it isn't for fraudulent purposes. This is what actors/actresses who go by a stage name do, likewise with authors who write under a pen name, etc. The challenge is if you want such a name to be the one that appears on your IDs, etc., and especially so if you're trying to change an already established name. Since many agencies will be reluctant to change a name without legal documentation (especially one where one's gender is changing too), and mismatched documents can be bad news for TSs, it's usually easier to get a court order to ensure your claim to your new name is safe and government-recognized.

Before rules requiring "matching documentation" were made more stringent it wasn't uncommon for someone to get driver's licenses, establish credit, etc. under a name other than the one appearing on their birth certificate (provided that one didn't "flip flop" on what name was used). In fact, I read somewhere that's the most common reason for filing a name change petition - although in this case it's not really a name change, but rather used to get all their documents straightened out (while usually it's not illegal to continue using the assumed name, especially if they've been using it their whole adult life and reverting to the BC name would require more changes, having documentation to back up your claim to the name can make things easier). Situations like these (where records may end up in a variety of names/aliases like middle names/nicknames/initials/etc.) are also a reason why employers, etc. may be interested in other names that documents (such as work/school/criminal records) they want to check are under (although that can make TSs feel uncomfortable - but as I've said before if nothing would appear under their old name they can give a statement like that without outing themselves, which covers the scope that employers have an actual need to know about).

[Lesley_Roberta]

Sarah you missed my point.

A driver's license is a legal document. It has to be the actual legal name.

A resume is not on par.

A passport sure is.

A Hi my name is ... badge is not.

Your insurance is, but, you can open a business and call it Janes kitchen even if Jane still has a pecker and was called Bob when they were born by parents

Now me, I have never driven, so, I won't be needing to fret over the license. It was like pulling teeth to get ANY birth certificate though. I'm from Quebec (yippee frigging hurrah), my original-always-thought-it-was-genuine-and-usable birth certificate likes like the BNA (British North America Act for you that don't know). Big paper document, big seal, all sorts of fancy wordings, liked showing it when I was in my 20s for age verification. They'd look at it and ask 'what the hell is that?' my birth certificate fool, you wanted to see it.

I finally managed to get one of those modern looking ones from this century (oh the joys of being born so long ago). I'm not really looking forward to doing it again so I can get F written on it and a new name.

I have NO desire to travel. A free trip to anywhere in the US all expenses paid, is worth nothing to me. No offense to my US friends, but you can keep your messed up country. Beautiful place, pity about the owners I truly think Canada is all I will ever need. No weird diseases, no weird food, and I can understand people when they talk (except Newfoundlanders, they are our Welsh ).

I will never work again, who cares, if I had my health, I'd be the employer anyway. I don't need to know how to write a resume, you might though

I'd be more interested in getting my name sorted out, so I could get the few pieces of ID sorted out that I actually need like my OHIP card, if not for the fact, that the newer ones with photo ID need to be renewed periodically, and at my expense. My white and red no picture version one though, it is not required to be replaced. So obviously I plan to use it till it falls apart completely

You need to ask yourself, WHERE do you need to use your name.
Most drive, I can see driver's license being a common one.
But eventually it is a small list for many of us.

I have the birth certificate, and a bank account card and my credit card. I am known by birth name to my disability pension. First rule of bureaucracies, is you avoid contacting them for anything at all I'm ok with them calling me aaaaaaanything they want, just so long as the check shows up I don't care if Revenue Canada calls me Leslie either. It's not like I hang out with them.

As long as the daily people in my life know I am Lesley, THAT'S what counts.

[Lo]

That's all well and good, Leslie, but you asked ("why should we?") and we answered. ;P

All I know is that going through the airline checkin and ticket purchasing process 8+ times a year, having to handle my boarding pass... It's all a dysphoric experience for me.

[KabitTarah]

There are other considerations too... in fact yesterday - my therapist needed me to sign a release so he could talk to my wife's therapist... the first form he gave me said "Tarah" at the top.

If we'd signed and sent that... I'm pretty sure I'd have found myself with a new legal alias (that I would have to report - since I work for the gov't). I did some checking on that recently... they are looking for legal aliases - which means anything you've put on an official form at any time in the past. Even a medical release could be considered official.

My nick name comes from my middle name. I always make sure to list it as a legal alias because I had that as my name on a FCC license for years. (And no, they probably wouldn't care... but it's best to be accurate for things like that)...

Changing my name should be fun. That probably happens the month I come out at work... which probably means in 1-2 years

[Northern Jane]

It may depend upon which country you live in but in Canada, under British Common Law, a person can go by any name they choose (as long as it isn't to circumvent the law). I transitioned in 1974 and changed my name on everything except my birth certificate and passport without a court-ordered change of name, just a letter of notice. It was only a couple of years ago that I needed a new passport and had to do the court-ordered name change to get my birth certificate changed in order to get a new passport.