I have been trans all my life. My beautiful spouse learned about it pretty much right from the start but of course then it was a novelty, a "thing", nothing life changing. We have two amazing kids, both know about me and we are good to each other. Over the years I tried hard to suppress "Monica" and worked like crazy which kind of paid off. But, like many, there was an emptiness that just about destroyed me, my spouse, and my relationship with my spouse. Years of therapy later, i moved out earlier this year, started laser, let my hair grow, started HRT. But i totally missed my spouse. More recently, we started seeing each other again, started communicating again, got back together and got engaged (for the second time). we are going to therapy together. we are trying hard to find common ground. Monica may co-exist but a complete transition is a deal breaker at this point. Maybe later, probably not though. One day at at time now. Some are really good, some pretty tough. I am hoping that I will find some comfort from this forum by seeing others dealing, adjusting, even thriving with similar situations. Hopefully I can I can contribute in a positive way, too Cheers, Monica