Heya, Ginger...
Please read the above as the comments of people who are concerned for you... many people in transition have good reason to warn others of the dangers of this path; it is a completely life-altering and potentially unbalancing process.
That being said, it *is* quite possible that your questioning is the beginnings of you coming to grips with your own trans status.
Here's a bit of my story to illustrate that point:
I was married for many years. One of the problems my marriage had was that I was not "manly" enough for my wife's tastes. I tried to be more of a man for her. I did my best to remove the feminine aspects of my personality, and very nearly succeeded in killing my entire personality by doing so. Add in some abuse and general nastiness, and twelve years later (after raising two step daughters and bringing a new biological daughter into the world) I was literally on the verge of a complete breakdown and nearly died (failing to avoid an accident, rather than suicide). A year after our separation, I came out to myself as being gender-fluid. This is a state where the gender a person is inside changes, and gender-fluid people may even express physically and emotionally as different genders depending on what they feel they are at the time (an over-simplification, mea culpa). After two years of handling myself that way, I finally began to experiment with cross-dressing to the point of trying to pass.
And that is when it hit me. Memories from childhood throughout my life began to come back, stuff I thought I had locked away and was done with forever. The yearning to be treated like a girl, then a woman. The wrongness whenever I looked at my body in the mirror. The hatred for the way women/girls never treated me like one of them, and my failure to "get" being a guy. The way I had to watch and imitate boys all my life so I could pass as one of them, but how I always felt like an outsider... all of it hit me over the course of a couple of days and I was forced to reconsider myself and admit to myself I was trans.
From that point on I have been working on transition. Being a woman is not a choice for me (nor is it a choice for most if not all of the MtF community)... The dysphoria (feeling I don't have the right body) has increased greatly... my inner woman had been languishing in prison for 39 years and she is demanding to be free at last.
So, there is an example from someone who fantasized on a regular basis about what it would be like to be a woman finally realizing that she *was* one, on the inside, anyway.
I've risked my career (still not sure how that's going to go), my family (all on my side so far), my love (very positive), nearly everything because I just couldn't stand denying myself any further. When I realized that I could not see myself as an old man (the future was a foreign country for me, I couldn't commit to plans beyond a week or two out by that time) but I *could* see myself as an old woman, that's when I knew. When I realized that I would rather grow old unloved and without family, an outcast (but a woman) than continue as a man, I was certain. So I found a therapist specializing in gender dysphoria and started on the road. I've never been so relieved as when she told me that yes, indeed, I was a girl, and we were going to work on getting my transition kicked into overdrive.
If you reach a point where gender issues are causing you to lose sleep, causing depression, anxiety, or any such thing, please contact a gender therapist... a good one can help you work out who you really are inside and help you on your path.
So, bottom line, please keep exploring. Don't get discouraged. You may be gender-fluid, there are a number here. You may be bi-gendered. There are also a number here. You may be a cross-dresser, or just a courageous, supportive CIS Male brave enough to explore gender issues. No matter what, there is a home and support for you here.
*hug* Thank you... your post is just the kind of thing that many people in the world need to read about, and the discussion could have value for many more people than just you in the world.
Much love and respect to you... and a couple more hugs.
