Truly, i hate to seem whiny. I like to consider myself a decent thinker, even if it never becomes action. Unfortunately i seem to have hit a sort of...mental stalemate. My life, and myself more so, are...well, no other way around it but theyre *. Blech, anyways suffice it to say, autism, chronic depressive personality (may be misquoting a past therapist a little), have mild/ moderate hearing lossfrom from birthyou (though its not as bad as the rest), and obviously the dysphoria are huge issues individually. Together, just utterly will-sapping. Added to that ive changed homes roughly 5 times in as many years. Im 22 and cant pick up a job, no transport, a few long distance friends a had to leave behind, and a general pessimism of getting anywhere. Despite all this, my dad and stepmom know, but either cant or wont help though they arent outright rejecting me, my best friends know but cant help, and i doubt either family or friends even know how to help though my stepmom has a gay son, so i suppose me being a MtF trans wasnt to much of a blindside for her. Shes helped me see a therapist for the aspergers, but despite that i cant help but feel like trying to start transitioning would be too much, no matter how desperately i feel i need it. I mean, ive felt the dysphoria since 3rd grade, im sure i can have a little more patience.
So i suppose my question is, where can i even begin? Theres no Gender therapists anywhere near where i live so hormones are very likely out for a fair while yet, but at the same time, the sooner i sart the better the results. Im just at a loss of what to do. I appologize for the rant but any support you can offer is much appreciated.
