An inquiry for all the MTFs out there.

[Blinded Wolf]

I have a legitimate question that I've been wondering about for some time now.
As a FTM, I look very forward to the day I get to start taking T shots. Clearly, no one experience with hormone therapy is the same, but I'm more than ready for the changes in my muscle mass and strength in general (as well as other changes, obviously). I'm strong as it is so the T should only increase my grit.

But I often wonder if the inverse is the case for MTFs: Did any of you notice an appreciable decrease in your strength/physical capabilities when you started HRT? Did it just feel like it was draining from you slowly or was it a sudden change? I read some time ago about a FTM that was able to increase all of his previously max training weights by 40 pounds two months after starting T. That's pretty sudden to me.

I find that estrogen does nothing for me but make me want to eat and feel needlessly emotional. Of course, my brain's being overloaded with the inappropriate hormone and I can't begin to imagine every female-minded individual feels this way.
While we're on the topic, are there any other odd/pleasant changes you've experienced through HRT? I've done a ridiculous amount of research on FTMs out of necessity and curiosity, but... not so much the opposite.

[Northern Jane]

I started HRT at 17 and had SRS at 24 and at 26 got my clock cleaned by another (cis) girl, so yes, the strength disappeared somewhere (not that I was very muscular to start with). Wrestling with a guy at 25 (playfully) it just amazed me how much faster and stronger he was than me! I was literally helpless against him.

The first effects of HRT that I noticed was a great calmness (compared to without it). It wasn't enough by itself but it kept me going until SRS and then, with  lower natural levels of T the calmness became permanent.

Even after 47 years, if I forget to change my patch, I start getting moody and depressed.

[Shantel]

I have been on feminizing HRT for many years, I will say that there is quite a decline in muscle mass and strength on estrogen while having all testosterone blocked. I actually suffered from severe muscle cramps mostly in my legs during that time. Testosterone will increase your muscle mass and strength, and your voice will drop quite soon. You can increase the effects with strength training and protein drinks to supplement your protein intake which is a must used by most body builders.

On estrogen I felt a sense of calmness and became rather laid back, testosterone creates more of an edginess and aggressiveness in me. As a born female you will be experiencing a second puberty, body hair, oily skin and lots of zits. Good luck hon!

[Jessica Merriman]

Hi Wolf!

Yes, a definite loss of muscle mass while on "E". I have lost strength and inches to most muscle groups. I tape every week and since starting I currently have lost 2 1/2" to Bicepts, 3 1/4" to Thighs, 2" to waist (I have lost 41 lbs though), 3" to tummy, and 1" to Chest Band. I have gained 2" to Hips, and 4" to Bust. Not bad so far. I find I have lost a lot of Burst strength, but have gained considerable endurance as with cardio exercises. My nervousness and On-Guard attitude have gone away and I am now calm and emotional. I also feel "right" with the "E" on board. Hope this helps and was what you were looking for. PM me anytime. Have a good day brother! BIG HUG! 

[Apples Mk.II]

Six months of medium power HRT plus irregular training and no strength  training took its toll on my capabilities. I lost part of the upper bulk (better fitting in clothes), but my capacity to move or lift weights went downhill, and the cardio level went down a bit. Even taking the stairs can be tiring now.


So I'm back to the gym, 4 times per week + plus 30 minutes at home the days I don't go, centred on recovering and maintaining overall muscle strength. It's not good to be a weakling when you live alone. First month is just back and legs, and it's sad to see how far away I am from my previous capabilities. Cardio's been reduced to 15 min per session to avoid burning too much.


BTW, I get no eating cravings on E, unless I'm depressed. In fact, maintaining weight and minimum fat is a major problem now.

[Blinded Wolf]

Shantel: that sounds a lot like my first go around with puberty. I had severe bouts of blind rage--sometimes I'd almost 'black out' and get physically aggressive--to the point where I broke a guy's nose once.
... Yeah. Never been much of a delicate flower, I suppose.
I often wonder how different this next go around will be. I'm ready for the changes both good and bad, though I can't say I'm looking forward to acne all over again.

As a female, I have a 14.75 inch bicep (when flexed, of course) and a shoulder width of 18.5 inches (bleh)... so I'm hoping all that gets significantly larger. I don't feel tiny next to dudes by any means (except for the larger 200+ pound guys... thankfully cis dudes do, too) but it would be nice to feel a little bigger for once. I'm absolutely appalled by my height, though, and wish I would've started making the transition in my teens.

[Beth Andrea]

Yes, for me the loss of strength was gradual. But only the strength needed for sudden, strenuous activities, like carrying a dresser up the stairs. Can't do that anymore, prefer to find a man or two to do it for me.

I can walk just as far as before, so slow and steady constant activity wasn't affected.

T is a relatively fast-acting hormone, so once your body is fully acclimated, yeah, muscles will develop if you make the effort. (I used to be amazed at the difference a week or two in the gym made for my muscle definition and strength). As to "grit"--perseverance in a task--yeah, that too. After E, I've found that I'm much more likely to back down from a discussion, allowing others their opinions (even if they're WRONG!!1! LOL  ), but prior I was a pretty stubborn l'il s.o.b.

I find that estrogen does nothing for me but make me want to eat and feel needlessly emotional.

I was fortunate in that I got to try T patches prior to going on E. I *know* how T affects me, huge anxiety, depression, an overall "Gaa-aaa-arrgghh!!" feeling. The emotional changes from the T patches happened almost immediately, within the hour, and I had to take off the patch by the time 3-4 hours had passed. Once I stopped taking T, I realized I still had that feeling, albeit at a much lower level, but still enough to screw me up emotionally (something I hadn't realized before). Once I could feel my "normal" T levels (which were very close to a cis-woman's, btw) I started looking into how to reduce them...and the effects of E (since one has to have some kind of hormone in the body).

While we're on the topic, are there any other odd/pleasant changes you've experienced through HRT?

I can't type this effect, but when I was thinking about how to answer this, I felt a calm, relaxing feeling come over me...and the pleasantness of the feeling of being under the influence of E made me have a "Mona Lisa" smile...I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

[Ms Grace]

Have to say I am quite calm on E, but maybe it is the anti androgen doing that. During my first transition I was anything but calm, but the E was different as was the delivery method. The monthly injections kind of replicated the monthly cycle and they really knocked me about. This time it's a constant dose of E and I feel much better because of it, but for me it's the lack of T that I really love. Haven't been on HRT long enough his time to notice a loss of strength, but it will come no doubt.

[Jill F]

Yes, for me the loss of strength was gradual. But only the strength needed for sudden, strenuous activities, like carrying a dresser up the stairs. Can't do that anymore, prefer to find a man or two to do it for me.

I can't type this effect, but when I was thinking about how to answer this, I felt a calm, relaxing feeling come over me...and the pleasantness of the feeling of being under the influence of E made me have a "Mona Lisa" smile...I feel all warm and fuzzy now.

^ These ^ 

I've only been on the "big girl" dose of HRT for 4 months, and just a little E for the 5 months prior to that.  My strength and bulk are finally diminishing.  I noticed a couple of months ago that jars are getting harder to open and heavy things I used to be able to "manhandle" are becoming much harder to lift.  I was a frothing mass of testosterone before HRT, and I hated it.  I was irritable, moody, angry, aggro and kind of a jerk all the time and could pack on muscle easily without ever going to a gym.  It was like I had PMS on steroids my entire life.  Some people find their "guy muscles" are gone in as little as 6 months HRT, but I think I had some extra to lose and am about halfway "there" now.

My mood got better after my very first dose of E, and I welcomed the newfound calm and peace in my head with open arms.  I finally was truly happy for the first time since testosterone wrecked things for me emotionally when I was 12.  The statement about having a "Mona Lisa smile" hit the nail on the head.  Perfectly stated.  I love being in a good mood most of the time instead of, umm, never.  My wife loves the "new me".  Who knew I actually am a naturally sunny person...

I also love the fact that my skin got baby smooth, body hair is evaporating and most importantly, and I will not be needing a hair transplant as I had feared.  I can't wait for the new hairs to catch up with the rest of it so I can get a cuter haircut.

I wish I would have done this sooner, but like many others here, I had to stick it out until all other options were exhausted.  Transitioning was the toughest thing I ever had to do, but it was also the most rewarding.

[Kaylee]

I would say I've lost a fair bit of upper body strength.  Loads of shopping that I would quite easily be able to carry back from the supermarket now cause me to need to stop frequently to rest my arms.  I suppose it was a gradual change but as I don't work out or make a habit of carrying big heavy things (well since I stopped doing bar work) it seemed like it came on all of a sudden.

Combined body fat and muscle I've dropped about 40 pounds in a year, my biceps are only 12 inches and I get trounced by my female friends in arm wrestling.

I love how its given me the ability to actually feel real joy and express my emotions, instead of just putting on a facade of happiness.  I've became a lot closer with a lot of my friends as a result of E I think.

Weirdest change though - gone from loving coffee in all forms to wanting to throw up at the smell of it (not fun when you're the closest person on the floor to the coffee machine!)

[Lauren5]

I'm already weaker than my sister (The 10 female cousins of mine who share the last name alone (plus my sister) are all buff, including two who are national weightlifting champions, one of which is also a world champion) so I'm poised to be even worse. I can't do the things like carry a dresser up stairs let alone lift it. Strange, because every other aspect of me seems to be overcharged with testosterone.
I wonder if I'll even be able to lift myself off the couch. I'm not heavy for a 6'3" man, but I'm heavier than I want to be.

[MariaMx]

Loss of strength happened pretty quickly, but the muscle mass took a while to go away. There was once a time when I could do a one arm pull-up, now I can't even do one with both arms, not even if my life depended on it, and it didn't take more than a few months before I no longer could do it.

Funny thing though was that it felt as if it was a trick being played on me. It felt as if I still had the ability to lift heavy objects, but when I would try I'd just fail.

[Blinded Wolf]

It's bizarre how much hormones influence things like this. When I was younger and going through the angry phase, I absolutely hated admitting that a guy could be stronger than me (even when it was obvious in the cases where the dude was 6'4" and 250+). I can admit it now, albeit through gnashed teeth, but I still have intense issues with pride.
I get goated into doing such stupid things to prove myself that I'm looking forward to the day when I won't constantly feel the need to.


I'm truly glad you all seem to be reporting that you feel much happier and calmer, though. I think that seems like the best thing about the entire journey for pretty much all of us. I often wonder how people born into the correct bodies feel, but I don't think I'd take back what I've been through. This is a very humbling, strenuous process and I know it's molded me into a person I otherwise may have never been.

Also, you ladies are cool as hail (can't curse, must pathetically improvise) and I'm excited at the chance to know all of you.

[Jill F]

It's just nice to have your brain running on the correct fuel.  All my FTM counterparts seem to agree.  If your brain is truly wired for T, you will likely know it right away.

I've said it before and I'll say it again-  You will pry my estrogen from my cold, dead hand. 

[Carrie Liz]

Yeah... the opposite is definitely true.

HRT has hit me HARD in terms of losing strength. I was never that strong to start with, at least not for someone of my size, but what strength I did have has pretty much been sapped.

Back in May, I was playing volleyball. Before HRT, my biggest problem while I was serving overhand was always trying to keep myself from hitting the ball over the back line, because I hit it with too much power but not enough topspin. But this time, when I tried to serve overhand, no matter how hard I hit the ball, it never made it further than halfway into the opposite court. I lacked the physical ability to hit it out of bounds. And it was kind of weird, because a lot of times where I felt like I was hitting the ball perfectly based on muscle memory, suddenly it was falling short of the net. I actually had to abandon serving overhand because I was hitting it too short half the time. And that was 5 months ago. I've been feeling weaker and weaker with every single month since then, and the last month has been the absolute worst in terms of simple little muscle-exertion activities causing me pain.

Yeah... it happens. Testosterone is definitely the muscle-building hormone. There's a reason why steroids exist. And we're basically taking reverse-steroids.

But the theme of transness is that to us, that hormone feels wrong. What's right for us is exactly what's wrong for FTMs. Yes, I had more strength with T still in my system. But it also made me feel tense, cranky, constantly on edge, lacking any emotions except annoyance and irrational anger, plus the sex-drive always felt wrong, and I hated how it felt like it was controlling me. Whereas once E was in my system, I immediately felt calmer, more relaxed, peaceful, in control, as if every part of my body was taking a deep breath and saying "Ahhhhhhh...." ^_^

It's just because our bodies are designed to run on the opposite hormones. And once those hormones are finally in us, finally everything starts feeling "right." That is universal.

[Beth Andrea]

I get goated into doing such stupid things to prove myself that I'm looking forward to the day when I won't constantly feel the need to

Uhh...yeah, guys do that kind of stuff too.

Some guys. Many don't, but if you're with a bunch of them, and they're all doing "x" and you don't wanna, you're gonna be teased about it.

If it's dangerous, or just something you disagree with, that is part of manhood--standing your ground and not letting others push you around or make you do something you don't want to.

Like you said, you don't have to prove anything, except just for yourself.

[Jill F]

Uhh...yeah, guys do that kind of stuff too.

Some guys. Many don't, but if you're with a bunch of them, and they're all doing "x" and you don't wanna, you're gonna be teased about it.

If it's dangerous, or just something you disagree with, that is part of manhood--standing your ground and not letting others push you around or make you do something you don't want to.

Like you said, you don't have to prove anything, except just for yourself.

I'm never going to miss dudebro culture.  The oneupsmanship games they always seem to play is ridiculous to me.  I mean, just get out the damn rulers and be done with it.   Who wants to be the alpha male?   Hint- not me.

[Doctorwho?]

let me just fly the flag for those with AIS.

I've been on estrogen/progesterone combi HRT almost all my adult life. I can't honestly say I ever experienced any changes in personality or strength. Although what my friends recalled at the time was that I seemed calmer and more at ease with myself than in the awkward period between my fully parentally approved and backed androgynous childhood, and my ultimate blossoming into full womanhood.

For a very brief period in between the two, in the very very late 1970's, I actually experimented with life as a male on the advice of a doctor I saw at the time. So I'm probably one of the few that has transitioned I to M back to I and finally to F... consequently I understand the challenges almost equally well for both MtF and FtM.

Because androgens didn't really work properly in my system I always found I was weaker than my properly male counterparts anyway, and while I had low estrogen my thinking was horribly wooly and unclear, and my memory was ->-bleeped-<-e, something which no amount of T could ever shift. So in many ways getting on the right fuel made me feel so much better, and perform with so much more clarity and vigour that, any marginal muscle loss would have seemed trivial.

[Blinded Wolf]

Uhh...yeah, guys do that kind of stuff too.

Some guys. Many don't, but if you're with a bunch of them, and they're all doing "x" and you don't wanna, you're gonna be teased about it.

If it's dangerous, or just something you disagree with, that is part of manhood--standing your ground and not letting others push you around or make you do something you don't want to.

Like you said, you don't have to prove anything, except just for yourself.

Yeah, I'm very much aware of this. But as of right now, I feel like I absolutely cannot turn down any sort of presented challenge because I feel as though it may reinforce any perceived weakness they already have of me due to my gender.
I know it's stupid and, logically, I know that I'm doing it to assuage my own ill perceptions of myself.

I could be way off base, but I think that once I outwardly feel like I'm supposed to, I won't really care less about such displays.

[Sammy]

Umm, yes, I did notice the changes I am getting worse in some areas, while in the others -there is quite an improvement. My jogging speed has dropped significantly, but I have an increased stamina and endurance now. My flexibility and dexterity are in their peak now - with lesser weight and toned up leg muscles I can do things, which I could not imagine doing before.
I am sometimes slipping on jars - I just cant get a grip as my palm is softer and is slipping while I am trying to twist that jar. Yet, my hold is just as strong as it was - if someone wants to give me a handshake and starts crushing me, he will get a surprise from me (unless my hand just drowns in his, lol). My upper body muscles have lost about 50% of their strength and I am not always following that, as I try to do things which I am used to only to discover that I cant really do them anymore . I asked my bmf to armwrestle with me and while he was better on the technique, when we just did it brute strength vs. brute strength, he could not beat me (neither could I, but I actually did not really try - I just resisted him, because I did not suddenly want to have an upper arm so his pride would be hurt or smth). We agreed that I can use him as my sparring partner anytime I wish, so I will get the idea what I can and what I cannot do against reasonably trained guy. I always used to be faster and stronger (but smaller) than him, so we will see if there will be any difference.
And I fully agree about that stupid habit of showing off - he used to pull this trick constantly and I was so annoyed (like, dude, cant You get to the point pls and lets skip the measuring part???). So, now he sort of forgot what has happened and pulled off a slightly ironic sexist remark - no ill-intent, mind You - that's just him . I replied by shaking my fist against him and telling that one more such remark and... He grinned, immediately took a stance and raised both this arms, fists clenched. I took one step back, regarded him and asked what the hell he is going to do? He said that I am free to try getting at him and I replied "Sorry, but I have to disappoint You. And You cant touch me too, btw" - he asked why and told him with a wicked smile that I am a girl now and I could slap him on his face and he would have to swallow that. He agreed, hesitantly, his grin disappearing It felt sooo good .