Need some moral support

[kaylagirl0806]

 I think I have got enough replies, that I'm going to attempt to ask my parents for therapy 🙂 However, I really need to make sure I do it right because I don't want to mess this chance up Please help with your wonderful advice
Kisses,
Kayla

[Megumi]

I think I have got enough replies, that I'm going to attempt to ask my parents for therapy 🙂 However, I really need to make sure I do it right because I don't want to mess this chance up Please help with your wonderful advice
Kisses,
Kayla

I said this a few weeks back about myself and I think it is true for just about everyone. "I really didn't think I needed help until I actually got the help that I needed." Therapy is a great thing as long as it's with a understanding therapist who can stay in the neutral zone. I'm glad I found a therapist who is like that, can give me advise that I need to hear but who will also give me a healthy dose of reality when I need it too.

Times will be difficult but in the end most parents do come around. It's a tough journey to go through but only we know what that journey will be.

[kaylagirl0806]

"I really didn't think I needed help until I actually got the help that I needed."
This is so true Megumi, thank you
Kisses,
Kayla

[Christine167]

I'd suggest planning out your language. Talk about seeking treatment and not wanting to rush into things or make rash decisions. The conservative approach promotes confidence in your decision to seek help.

Research the therapy here first though. Parents often try to corner their children and get to the heart of the issue quick with as little BS as possible. So be prepared by doing the research first.

Where I am I see a therapist about once a month, she is okay with others attending the sessions so long as I approve first and give her advanced notice. Your parents will want to know about cost and some insurers will cover it but I recommend finding and experienced therapist with gender identity experience first and asking them how they handle it. Mine knows quite a few tricks in the medical coding world such that she can be paid and I leave no trace of my gender identity issues. After all I do have anxiety, my gender identity just happens to be a trigger for that anxiety 😉 Fees from my therapist are about $120 for an hour and a half session. She also handles all referrals for me for other related appointments and makes arrangements between patients and former patients for support when she is not available.

Endocrinologists and hormone replacement therapy. I wouldn't even bring this up to your folks. You have oceans of time before this becomes a problem and confronting them with it now will most likely be met with a stone wall defense. Once you are an adult then you can seek it out and well afford it on your own.

Surgery- don't even worry about it right now. Focus on the things that you can do now like voice therapy, pose and motion, diet/exercise and learning the basics of make up. It sounds like "too little and will be too late" but it's not and a lot will change by the time you secure your education at a university or tech school. Remember we often have issues with money so don't let your skills lapse and protect your credit rating.

Support- look around or google for some LGBT or especially transgender support groups. CATS in Charleston was a great help to getting me started.

Tips and feel good junk food TV- many of our members here have these little YouTube logos under their avatars. They often have a series of videos that you can watch with stories about their transitions. We all have our favorites.

Reading- lots to do here and I'm sure that many of our members can recommend some good books on the subject. I read "Warrior Princess" the Kristen Beck story when I started down this path. It really made me feel normal amongst all my anxiety about being transgender and how wrong that felt.

Well really that's enough from me for now. Start asking more questions. We have answers from different perspectives and we come from a variety of different back grounds and career experience.

[kaylagirl0806]

 Thank you much girl!
Kisses

[Christine167]

Thank you much girl!
Kisses

I got kisses? I don't think that there's a lol cat to express how good that just made me feel to have helped.  🙂

[kaylagirl0806]

Glad I could help

[evecrook]

I don't know if this will help you, but I've been a woman in a mans body all my life, really for too long. I'm finally changing. I've been a catholic all my life and Christ's love has always been there for me. I don't know if your religious , but god saved me from the hell of not being the woman I was . any religion can help.

[Emily.T]

Hi Kayla and welcome to our family I know all to well what your going through I came out to my wife 2 years ago and she also did not think I was trans so I could only be myself when she was not around I was so miserable now we are separated and I can honestly say that I have never been happier I can finally be myself 24/7.

Keep your chin up honey and you will find your way through this.

Emily xx

[Sabrina]

I still live at home with my parents but am in my late 20's. What I do and have done is slowly incorporate feminine stuff into my wardrobe / mannerisms. Doing too much, too quickly can lead to shock from family, friends, and co-workers. Try slowly getting to a point where nobody will ask questions. From there, hover at that status till you can add more stuff and figure out how to talk with them about the issue. At least this tactic works for me.

[MadelineB]

Hi Kayla, a lot of great advice here. Let me add a few things I hope will be of value:
1. Right now this very minute, commit to living the most authentic life you can, and learning to love yourself and be yourself no matter how long it takes.
Many trans kids get in the habit of not being themselves in all kinds of ways, not just in how they express their gender.
So in every way that it is safe to do so, start letting your true feelings, values, and personality show.
You can develope into a wonderful happy person even while working towards the day when you can be yourself gender-wise to the whole world.
2. Right this minute commit to stop pretending that you are ok when you are not. The trans kids who have the best outcomes ones who learn to stop hiding when they are sad, down, frustrated, afraid, angry, and depressed. Only if you are being abused should you hide your pain, and then only from your abuser. We don't want to lose you, and neither does your family.

3. Remember you've got your whole life to make a great life.
4. If you tell your family you are seriously depressed, they will help you see a professional. Just don't hide your unhappiness. And if you start therapy (please avoid so-called Christian counselors; you need a neutral professional) stick with it.