I just started T :D

[Mattfromengland]

I am going to, yes. As in terms where I am? I just came out to a few friends, my sisters and my dad, the rest I am not prepared for just yet. My dad seems more excited about all of this then I am, he seems to really want a son, so that is a good thing that he is being very supportive.

The first person I came out to, was my contact person at the hospital and he wants me to speak to a therapist, which I completely understand. And then I will see where it goes from there. If I could just press that magic button, I would not hesitate xD But, it still feels great having come out, and having found this forum led me to having that courage to do so.

Yes I found coming out such an uplifting feeling. I guess it depends on how much support you get, I've been lucky as I've had 100% support, not everyone gets that. But it looks more likely nowadays that people understand. I'm still in the process of doing this as as of course we don't see everyone we know frequently. I'm also self employed so am working my way through the clients as and when I am able to. So far most of the people around me on a day to day basis know though and it's such a relief to be able to be me.

I think the therapist is a good idea. I saw a video of my specialist many years ago talking about this and explaining that no matter how supportive and helpful those around you are, there's always going to be around 80% of their own agenda in whatever they say to you. Where as if you see a counsellor it's always 100% your own agenda. If you have a good one that you are comfortable with then you can also discuss lots of things that you feel uncomfortable with with people you know. It's just a good release, and if they are a gender counsellor, the experience they have will mean they can help you through any niggly emotional worries or problems you have as they've seen it all before and can draw upon their experience of seeing what helped others in that same situation.

Sounds like your Dad is fantastic!!!!!! Good on him!!!

[Dalex]

Yes I found coming out such an uplifting feeling. I guess it depends on how much support you get, I've been lucky as I've had 100% support, not everyone gets that. But it looks more likely nowadays that people understand. I'm still in the process of doing this as as of course we don't see everyone we know frequently. I'm also self employed so am working my way through the clients as and when I am able to. So far most of the people around me on a day to day basis know though and it's such a relief to be able to be me.

I think the therapist is a good idea. I saw a video of my specialist many years ago talking about this and explaining that no matter how supportive and helpful those around you are, there's always going to be around 80% of their own agenda in whatever they say to you. Where as if you see a counsellor it's always 100% your own agenda. If you have a good one that you are comfortable with then you can also discuss lots of things that you feel uncomfortable with with people you know. It's just a good release, and if they are a gender counsellor, the experience they have will mean they can help you through any niggly emotional worries or problems you have as they've seen it all before and can draw upon their experience of seeing what helped others in that same situation.

Sounds like your Dad is fantastic!!!!!! Good on him!!!

Yeah, that is what I thought as well. Counselors and therapists are there to help you, help you, as my friend worded it to me once.  I have known this for a very, very long time, but I already feel that much better, not only coming out to others, but coming out to myself.

And my dad is! He has even asked me to check out how much a name change costs, and has told me to let him know what name I choose when I have found one so that he can call me by that name. He even called me a he, well only once, but hearing that was so great.

[Mattfromengland]

Yeah, that is what I thought as well. Counselors and therapists are there to help you, help you, as my friend worded it to me once.  I have known this for a very, very long time, but I already feel that much better, not only coming out to others, but coming out to myself.

And my dad is! He has even asked me to check out how much a name change costs, and has told me to let him know what name I choose when I have found one so that he can call me by that name. He even called me a he, well only once, but hearing that was so great.

Ah yes, your Dad sounds great. What country are you in? If you're in the UK I can advise on the name change. I suspect you're in the US though?

[Dalex]

Ah yes, your Dad sounds great. What country are you in? If you're in the UK I can advise on the name change. I suspect you're in the US though?

I'm actually closer to the UK then to the US if I remember correctly. I'm in Iceland My dad suggested that I should try to play around with the name I already have, but I am not really sure you can get a male name from Linda....

[Mattfromengland]

I'm actually closer to the UK then to the US if I remember correctly. I'm in Iceland My dad suggested that I should try to play around with the name I already have, but I am not really sure you can get a male name from Linda....

Hmmm, I had that problem too. I wanted something similar so it still felt like me. There was nothing really so decided I'd keep the same initial of S, but still wasn't happy. I tried Steve and thought about Sam. Then I thought sod it forget S and found Matthew. It just felt right and then all of a sudden my old name felt horrible.

I've also found that having new bank cards etc, it's actually quite nice to have something different, so you actually feel like something has changed. I hadn't really thought of that, but now I'm glad I'm an M instead of S.

Might be something to think about. And yeah, try the names out. I tried them on here and changed it when needed. Obviously everyone on here understands why you're doing it, so it's fine to do that. It really gives you a feeling when you sign a post off in your name whether it feels right or not.

I don't know what the laws are in Iceland I'm afraid.

[Dalex]

Hmmm, I had that problem too. I wanted something similar so it still felt like me. There was nothing really so decided I'd keep the same initial of S, but still wasn't happy. I tried Steve and thought about Sam. Then I thought sod it forget S and found Matthew. It just felt right and then all of a sudden my old name felt horrible.

I've also found that having new bank cards etc, it's actually quite nice to have something different, so you actually feel like something has changed. I hadn't really thought of that, but now I'm glad I'm an M instead of S.

Might be something to think about. And yeah, try the names out. I tried them on here and changed it when needed. Obviously everyone on here understands why you're doing it, so it's fine to do that. It really gives you a feeling when you sign a post off in your name whether it feels right or not.

I don't know what the laws are in Iceland I'm afraid.

I think I just might try that. It seems I did something similar as a kid. When I met someone new, I would introduce myself with a male name since most assumed I was a boy anyways. First it was Dennis, then an icelandic boys name Lárus, and then it was Devon. I think I might like something different as my initial, like you said, a new name for the new you. But we will see! For now I will just be called Dalex till I can find a name that will suit me.

[Mattfromengland]

Yes, try out different ones. A lot of people have said they knew when they found the right one and yes it was certainly like that for me. Before that I felt lost with it and really stuck, feeling like that would never happen with me. But it did.

[Dalex]

Thanks Matt I surely will do that, try out a few names till I find the one that suits me

[Mattfromengland]

Thanks Matt I surely will do that, try out a few names till I find the one that suits me

Hope you figure it out soon