I Almost Went In DRAB!

[Julie Marie]

I just got off the phone with my ex.  She asked me to replace her disposal several weeks ago and now she has the time off work to do it.  She works most weekends.  I told her at the time she'll have to be prepared to see Julie because I'm full time except work.  She didn't respond.

We don't see each other much, maybe once every few months so she hasn't seen me in femme or seen what HRT has done.  In the past I was in drab and wore baggy shirts, just like I do at work.  She has my kids ear and she has no idea what discretion is.  She also has a tendency to overexaggerate.  So I've tried not to give her any ammunition to further impair my relationship with my kids. 

I agreed to come over today and replace the disposal for her.  All the while I was reluctant because I felt I had to go there as Jim.  Then I remembered what my elecrologist said when I told her a TS friend of mine was very comfortable with herself.  "Then it's everybody else's problem and not hers."  As soon as I remembered that I abandoned the idea of going in drab.  So I touched up my makeup and will be heading out soon.

It will be interesting to see how she reacts.  She wears her emotions on her face.  And I'm sure we'll have to go to the hardware store for plumbing parts.  How she'll react to that only time will tell.

[Melissa]

Well, you may look much better than she's imagining.  I feel that parents facing what they consider a problem head-on is the only way they can come to resolution.  I sure hope everything works out well for you.

Melissa

[Buffy]

Good Luck Julie!

Buffy

[LynnER]

Good Luck Julie  *Hugs*  Dont let her get you down 

[HelenW]

My fingers are crossed for you Julie!

Stay strong!!!

[BrandiOK]

I LOVE it when one of us just says "to H*LL with it" and marches in like that.  Doesn't always go well but it does leave you a little stronger for the next time if it doesn't. 

I think she will be shocked how good you look Julie....even if she doesn't admit it.  Stand tall sis....this world is as much yours as it is anyone's.

LOL..listen to the house mouse roar LOL.  <~~~(that's me) 

We need some kind of group emblem like a butterfly with a machine gun LOL.

I hope all goes well Julie....I'm proud of you

[Julie Marie]

I'm back and I have egg on my face.

My ex was totally cool about seeing her ex husband dressed as a woman.  I didn't detect the slightest hint of discomfort.  And it wasn't long before I realized I was the one with the hangups. 

I had the disposer replaced in record time.  Everything was compatible.  That gave us time to talk.  I asked about the kids and what she hears from them.  What I found was my own inability to accept myself caused them a lot of anguish.  First I'm transitioning then I'm not, then I am.  I can only imagine what that does to a kid.

The son who won't talk to me told her he's okay if I want to transition.  He just wants to know if it's for real or just another phase.  What my kids had seen all their life was a dad who dove into things head first then lost interest.  When I gave myself permission to transition I realized that was a distraction to keep me from thinking about what was going on inside of me.  They couldn't have known that.

Our time together gave me hope that someday my kids will understand me better and bring me back into their lives.  I think about them every day.  I love them to death.  I hope for that day to come when I can give them a hug and let them know I only want them to be truly happy.

She walked me to my car.  I put my tools in back. Then I looked at her.  She was standing there and I knew we had to hug.  As I walked towards her she opened her arms and we hugged.

I learned a lot today.

[LynnER]

Im happy for you Julie.   See it wasnt that bad *Hugs*

[BrandiOK]

That is FANTASTIC Julie!!!!  I can't imagine a better outcome.  It's not egg on your face sis....you broke a huge barrier and if there should be anything on your face it should be one HUGE smile 

[Dennis]

That is awesome, Julie. I'm glad it worked out that way. And that's not egg on your face at all.

Dennis

[Malana]

Congratulations, Julie!

I hope you don't mind me hopping in with my plaudits.  It sounds as though your ex is a "grown-up".  I'm envious! 

Keep smiling,

Malana

[tinkerbell]

Hi Julie,  

I just read this thread, and I am very happy at two things:  that you went to see her as Julie, and the fact that things turned out great; you even hugged each other; that's such good news!  definetely another step taken, another battle won...  



your friend,

tinkerbell

[Kim]

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday Julie. Belated congrats and all our prayers and hope to you for a positive outcome with your children.
(I'm still trying to figure out if egg on the face would be cheaper than makeup  !!lol-sorry couldn't resist that one)

[stephanie_craxford]

Sorry I missed this Julie, it's been kinda hectic...

Anyway this is so wonderful, you must be over the moon hon.

Our time together gave me hope that someday my kids will understand me better and bring me back into their lives.  I think about them every day.  I love them to death.  I hope for that day to come when I can give them a hug and let them know I only want them to be truly happy.

One thing that you must remember is that you should never give up hope no matter what as to give up hope is to give up on life.  I'm sure that the day will come, maybe sooner than you think.

Steph

[HelenW]

It does my heart wonders to hear of your good news, Julie, Thank You!

Hugs & Smiles
helen

[Jillieann Rose]

Oh Julie that is great.
See it good to follow your heart.
Thank you for helping me to feel that there is always hope.
Jillieann

[sheila18]

I'm back and I have egg on my face.

My ex was totally cool about seeing her ex husband dressed as a woman.  I didn't detect the slightest hint of discomfort.  And it wasn't long before I realized I was the one with the hangups. 

..  What I found was my own inability to accept myself caused them a lot of anguish.  First I'm transitioning then I'm not, then I am.  I can only imagine what that does to a kid.

The son who won't talk to me told her he's okay if I want to transition.  He just wants to know if it's for real or just another phase.  What my kids had seen all their life was a dad who dove into things head first then lost interest.  When I gave myself permission to transition I realized that was a distraction to keep me from thinking about what was going on inside of me.  They couldn't have known that.

I learned a lot today.

Julie:

I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU, VERY PROUD OF YOU.
I have just heard of a Miracle a true Miracle!

  Before when I read your posts you struck me as  self centered and adolescent.

  But your honesty  today and willingness to learn is amazing, you have shed that rationalizing egoism(Ayn Rand) good for you.
   Am saying that you should be also proud of yourself what you did Sunday? Is hughe.

  I truly believe that you have a new world ahead of you , life becomes important when we see that we are important to others. They will learn to accept us when we learn to accept them. Is magic!

And today Julie, YOU MADE MY DAY!  Thanks.
It may not mean much to you But it sure means a heck of a lot to me.

"What my kids had seen all their life was a dad who dove into things head first then lost interest."    THAT STATEMENT TAKES COURAGE!  WONDERFUL
  you know that was me also and I still struggle with it. I was Mr. Promises just like my dad always the dreamer. But Am getting better at it.

IT WOULD BE AN HONOR TO BE YOUR FRIEND 

Love no matter what, specially our children, Sheila18