So, sometimes I can't figure out if I'm feeling dysphoria or just straight depression and anxiety.
However I know that these can be connected.
so Here's my overall list.
1. I work as a carryout or cart pusher at menards, not the most feminine job. I come home smelly and gross and sometimes about ready to cry the whole night if I could. (I seem to be mostly unable to shed a single tear at the moment IDK Y )
Although On the plus side, two menards guests this week thought I was a girl at first. That made my day.
2. random and persistent erections, I hate them, I hate them and in skinny jeans or when I tuck it hurts quite a bit.
3. Facial hair, can never seem to get rid of shadow.
4. Stress, it seems to amplify everything.
5. Seeing as I'm not out, people including my parents saying oh u will be a great man one day or or its part of being a man. Or saying some other little thing about being a male or related to it. I don't know why even the little things are getting to me so much lately but Im going insane. Worst part is I don't know when I can see my therapist next, because I have to cancel because of finals.
6. Im super confused because because of the somedays i couldn't really care all that much about things like HRT or when or if I get it. Others Its all I think about and I all I really want.
GAHHHHHH DX
Well thats my 2 cents for this time being.
