I've noticing that amongst the lot of reasons I'm using to block guys on dating sites, there is a big problem. Whenever I get asked "What I am looking for", I just don't know. Trying to remember how these things worked (never was very good ad this), I'm trying to sort stages like this:.
- Chat / Message online. If I see that he/she seems interesting and nice, propose or accept a quick 1st date with no compromise.
- 1st date? Visiting something, having dinner, maybe a drink later. If the outcome seems positive, go for a second?
- Second date, similar... Not sure. You let them hug, cuddle or kiss you at this point if they are playing it correctly? First / second base, as they would say?
- Third one... Who know, maybe sex here?
- Future? Not sure, if I just need to ditch them one I am bored. Do I have to say it politely "It's been fun, but I prefer to be friends", or just dissapear with no data.
The frankfurt issue:The second problem is my trans status. Although it can be read in my face and voice at this time, If they can't figure it is not my problem. Unless there is the possibility of sex or things can get serious, I don't think I need to break the news about what do I have between my legs, and as they usually say here. "Let them love you for what you have in your head,, not between your legs". Saying "I'm trans" in the profile is like putting a magnet for ->-bleeped-<-s and creeps.
Filtering:. I don't know, maybe I am too restrictive. These are the thing that make me block somebody online or not continue a conversation.
- No picture, blurry, not the subject, party animal, can't see him clearly. I like seeing a from waist to head picture at least. Also putting "pseudoerotic" photos on your profile it's a big no
- Ever mentioning dick
- Bad profile. Not enough dat or having verbal diarrhea trying act uber cool and sophisticated to the point of stupid
- Asking if I would have sex on the first date, specially in the first message
- An opening message as simple as "Hello, how are you". I like imagination, them reading my profiles and at least trying to use that information about themselves
- Not being fit. I know this is cruel, but I never ask people more than I ask myself, which is to care a bit about your persona. Putting a bit of effort and caring about yourself is something I value. Note: Not attracted to muscleheads
- Smoker. Seriously. I'm not kissing or getting close to somebody who smells like burnt petrol.
- Talking about sex or ending with "In your house or mine?" You tell me that, it's game over unless I'm crazy for you.
- Asking for personal data. I don't give my name, skype, mail address or phone. Also, I'm not telling them where do I live. The city is more than enough. They don't seem to understand about minimum privacy
- Have a job and a minimum level of education. I'm not asking for a college degree, but neither a damn analfabet. And having work is mandatory.
I used to have a "don't message me if" in the profile, but people should be smart enough to understand these basic filtering rules. Not giving them a way to bypass them, save for the dick photo. I don't want to see them.
In-date filtering. Here I also seem to be putting a good deal of filtering, things I won't let pass
- Low hygiene or grooming. same as I ask to my self, I won't date anybody that looks as if he had been working on a mcdonals
- Clothing: I have limits, But I like people to dress with a bit of style. Not coming half naked, or overly dressed.
- Getting too close: I'm your date, not your food. On the first date I would keep a decent distance. I'm not going to let myself get touched or holding hangs like two freaking lovebirds...
